18 month old constant tantrums!!

[LovelyWeatherForDucks]

I need some advice on dealing with DS's constant tantrums at the moment! Between 6am and 8am we had tantrums because:

• I wanted to change his nappy
• getting him dressed
• not picking him up and carrying him
• picking up up but not carrying him where he wanted to go
• picking him up then sitting down with him
• offering him a bowl of weetabix
• leaving the room so I could get the washing / make a cuppa / anything

Everything seems to set him off and he doesn't seem to enjoy anything :(

Then we went into town for a bit and he was fine. Got home and went to play in the garden, mega tantrum because I wouldn't let him pull buds off a flowering bush and took him away from it when he didn't stop. 45 minutes of full on rage! Hitting himself, crying for me to pick him up but thrashing, hitting and head butting me when I held him, throwing himself backwards and hitting his head...throwing anything I try to distract him with, if I sit near him and ignore him he comes up to me and pushes me, etc! He knackered himself out and is now napping thankfully.

I hope it's just a phase - he's just got over an illness and is only just beginning to walk, so it must be frustration, but at the moment I literally cannot do anything round the house with him - even playing with him - I am on constant tantrum alert and can't seem to do anything right for him.

I'm just worried I need to start getting things under control now, even his nursery have commented on his temper and the massive strops he throws. Any ideas for any tactics? Ignoring seemed to work until recently, now it doesn't, and he gets too cross to be distracted and his understanding isn't too good yet.

No advice but I can offer my support. I was waiting for the terrible twos with trepidation. No one told me about the temper tantrums and constant whinging of a frustrated one year old!

I feel your pain, but it does sound totally normal! My DD was the same, at 2yo she's much better, I think as she can say exactly what she wants (i.e. my sock isn't on properly! I want that hat on, not this one!) which can be impossible to fathom when all they can say is nooooo!!!!!!!

My advice would be not to distract if it's stopped working. Say to DS 'it's horrible to feel/frustrated/angry/whatever emotion isn't it. I'm sorry you feel bad'. Then ignore him until it's over. If he's at risk of banging his head or something you might want to gently hold is hand or support him, but lightly and looking neutral.

Also, be confident in your No. If you don't want him to have something, say no and don't bend. I found as soon as I was totally consistent - rather than sometimes giving in as I was too tired to cope with the screaming - that she got a lot better. She seemed to know it wasn't getting her anywhere!

Good luck. It's tough.

Thanks for the reassurance. Definitely a good point on the firm 'no' - as he's had chicken pox recently and been rather miserable, I've been a bit more lenient with him which probably hasn't helped!

Yes, I'm worried about what the terrible 2's has in hold!

My LO has always been a whinger and a whiner and now she can talk she whinges with words rather than crying. So everything is a drama "sore knee" we've had that one for over a week now. Why is your knee sore- "fell off trampoline" or everything is itchy. Or why don't you want your nappy changed? "its cold". Ok so now I know why all the tantrums over nappy changes, because she doesn't like the feeling of the new, cold nappy on her bottom. (she'd much rather sit in warm poo then, figure that one out!!) Im starting to find out what all the whinges have been about now she can use her words. There are still tantrums aplenty though, talking hasn't cured them!

Watching this with interest for advice as my 20 month old can tantrum all day long too sometimes, it's exhausting so you have my sympathy!