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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Am I alone in having fallen 'out of love' with 3 year old DD

44 replies

resipsa · 16/04/2014 18:33

I still love her, of course, and would protect her with my life but she has changed from a lovely baby/toddler into a difficult, rude and angry young child. When I'm at work, I can't wait to see her then when I do, I can't wait for her bedtime! Is this just a phase (please say yes, someone)? I want to be in love again.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

dwinnol · 05/05/2014 20:16

Yes it is a phase and will pass when she's about to leave home.

deepinthewoods · 05/05/2014 20:19

Dwinnol- that's a depressing thought- you don't mean that surely?

motherinferior · 05/05/2014 20:22

I really do think it's just three year olds. Two is fine. Four is fab. Thirteen is fine so far! Three is demented.

sillymillyb · 05/05/2014 20:27

This is depressing me... My 2 year old has turned into a terror over night. If 3 is worse I may just start mainlining wine now

If you have an opinionated, angry (gorgeous and wonderful) 2 year old do you skip the horrible 3ness instead? Please tell me it's so!

morethanpotatoprints · 05/05/2014 20:28

OP, yes this is quite normal as many have said and they all go through a bit of this at some stage.
The only thing I didn't allow was hitting, biting, anything physical and they were straight on the naughty step.
You can't have them doing this to other people and they have to learn quickly that this is unacceptable behaviour. Oh and slamming doors and stropping is definitely not allowed in my house. In fact breathing is a no go too.

starsandmoonandback · 05/05/2014 20:36

Res, they don't call them 'Threenagers' for nothing!!!

I'm having a very similar time with DS. His new thing is shouting AT me. It's like he's experimenting with shouting angrily. It's not always in context either! He likes doing it in public places, like cafés! Oh the joy!

deepinthewoods · 05/05/2014 20:38

THreenagers- I have never heard that. Does that imply that teenagers are difficult too?

sillymillyb · 05/05/2014 20:48

Starsandmoon: ds shouts at me too! I like it when he gets confused and shouts " no! Yes! No! Yes! No!" Because he's so angry he can't work out what is the most unreasonable answer

SpottieDottie · 05/05/2014 20:49

Teenagers and 3 year olds go through the same 'brain rewiring' process which is why some 3 years behave like teenagers and some teenagers behave like 3 year olds.

deepinthewoods · 05/05/2014 20:51

spottie, not something I have experienced. Children change and develop but I haven't noticed any "brain rewiring"

SpottieDottie · 05/05/2014 20:53

Making new connections in the brain apparently, it's a long time since I read it, it was in a parenting book (Steve Biddulph?) I read some 10 years ago when going through the interesting 2/3 stage with mine.
I recalled it when I saw my new teen stamping her foot in frustration much as she had done 10 years earlier

deepinthewoods · 05/05/2014 20:58

I guess some children go through these stages, but not all. I also think teenagers get a really bad press.

inthewoods4 · 05/05/2014 21:03

Wow, that makes so much sense! Mine is so much like a teen, sometimes she reminds me of Kevin from Harry Enfield! I'm very relieved that 4 is better, only 5 months to go...

deepinthewoods · 05/05/2014 21:05

AS I say, teens get such bad press.

SpottieDottie · 05/05/2014 21:06

Deep totally agreed about the bad press that teenagers get :( It really annoys my teen as she loves wearing hoodies and hates the media view of them that she feels encourages older people to give her filthy looks when she is out in town wearing one. She feels like telling them she's only going to the library to study and not vandalise the place :(

deepinthewoods · 05/05/2014 21:13

It's sad isn't it.

wintersdawn · 05/05/2014 21:14

Reading this thread makes me feel so much better about the way I feel about my dd sometimes, she has been perfectly summed up by some of comments, she can be the stroppiest girl, evil to her brother and me and then hurt her thumb and need full on cuddles and kisses for 10 minutes before she'll leave my side.

Terrible twos didn't exist for us either but the threes can't pass quick enough and we are only two months in! Though I know somewhere in the back of my mind once she does reach four she'll be in school soon after and then I'll miss even the bad days of being 3.

MaddAddam · 05/05/2014 21:21

I think 3.5 years was about my least favourite age for parenting.
I have 3 dds and 2 of them were pretty stressy at that age. The other was just incontinent at an age when they're not supposed to be, which was totally tedious.

As a couple of other people have found, I'm finding the early teenage years a walk in the park compared to 3 year olds - it's got easier all the way since 3 for me.

Ledkr · 05/05/2014 21:24

I'm back in love with mine after a few difficult weeks.
I love seeing her feisty personality come through and her independent mature develop further.
She's partially deaf and has speech delay but she just gets in with it and I'm immensely proud of her.
That's bit to say she doesn't drive me mad often though.

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