Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Original poster

DS (5) starting to have erections - how do I explain to him what is happening?

11 replies

CoffeeChocolateWine · 16/04/2014 17:23

My DS is 5.5. The other morning as we were walking somewhere he started walking a bit awkwardly so I asked him what was the matter. He said "my winky (he knows the real word but prefers this one!) keeps going hard and straight". I reassured him that it was nothing to worry about and completely normal and it would go back to normal soon, but now I'm bracing myself for more questions!

I want to be completely honest with him but I don't want to give him more information than he needs at 5. He walked in on me on the toilet the other day (broken lock!) and I was on. Despite trying to distract him and being as discreet as I possibly could, he noticed a bit of blood on the tissue in the toilet before I flushed and asked me questions. I gave him honest answers but in as simpler way as I could think of on the spot, but my DH who overheard laughed afterwards and said it was perhaps a little TMI for a 5yo! So I want to be prepared this time.

Any tips on the best way to explain things to him?

OP posts:
Sunnydaysablazeinhope · 16/04/2014 17:24

I'd first ask dh tbh. Comedy value alone!

odyssey2001 · 16/04/2014 17:28

Our LO has erections (and he is only 3). We just explain that when he needs a wee, when he plays with it or sometimes when he is washing it, it will get bigger. Is that enough for a five year old?

Your son doesn't need to know the mechanics or the biological purpose of an erection yet, just what causes it to happen. Reassure him that it will go away if he stops thinking about it, leaves it alone and does something else.

Original poster
CoffeeChocolateWine · 16/04/2014 21:34

Good idea Sunnyday...over to you DH!

Odyssey, thanks. I guess that's my question really...how much does he need to know at 5? And you are probably right...maybe that is enough for now.

OP posts:
riskit4abiskit · 17/04/2014 09:51

Babies have erections too don't they?,
so wont it just be something he has already experienced? Odyssey has a great strategy!

DownstairsMixUp · 17/04/2014 09:59

DS has been having them since he was a baby! He is my first so I remember seeing it in the morning and being really shocked but it's completely normal. He asked me about it before and I just said sometimes it goes bigger and it just goes away on it's own, you just leave it alone. (I don't feel the need to introduce the whole why it happens, what to do etc yet as it's obviously not happening for any sinister reasons, it's usually just when he wakes up) Also the period thing Ds asked me this when he was in the loo with me and I just said ladies can have babies and when there is no baby, where the baby would live it leaks so a new baby can try and grow when the new egg arrives. Grin He seemed happy enough with that so I left it!

Original poster
CoffeeChocolateWine · 17/04/2014 14:01

Yes, I should rephrase actually...he's been having erections since he was tiny too, but it's the first time he's spoken to me about it. It's like he's only properly starting to realise that something is going on down there as he's never asked me about it before and I've never talked ot him about it before.

But thank for the comments...you are absolutely right, all he needs to know is that certain things will make it bigger and it's normal.

Downstairs, re. the period thing...that's pretty much what I told him too. Not sure why DH thought it was too much info...not such I could have made it much simpler. I said that all ladies have lots of tiny eggs in their tummies so that they can have babies if they want to. Occasionally an egg will turn into a baby, but most of the time it comes out of the ladies' body with a bit of blood. And this happen every month and no, it doesn't hurt. That's ok isn't it?!

OP posts:
Original poster
CoffeeChocolateWine · 17/04/2014 14:14

not sure I could have made it much simpler.

OP posts:
RedandChecker · 17/04/2014 14:16

This made me remember the time ds was a baby and I heard do shouting and telling me to come
Quick! It was so panicky I war worried and ran straight in, he only had an erection! DP was shocked bless him Grin I just tell him he needs a wee or if he leaves it alone it will go back down and leave it at that, he's four.

vickibee · 17/04/2014 14:18

My Ds aged 7 asked me what his testicles were for? any advice on how to answer this one. He reckns they are completely pointless and don't do anything

Original poster
CoffeeChocolateWine · 17/04/2014 15:46

vicki Could you tell him that for a young boy like him, he's right, they don't really do anything. But when he is a bit older they will help him to grow from a boy into a man like daddy. And when he's a grown up they will help him make a baby if he wants one? Or maybe that last bit can come later if he wants more info!

OP posts:
DownstairsMixUp · 17/04/2014 15:54

It sounds fine to me, I'm sure they will ask more as they get older but for now just simple and easy to understand will do!

New posts on this thread. Refresh page