DD is 4.6 and an only child. I work full time, every morning she is at pre school and afternoons are shared with grandparents and childminder, all of which say how lovely she is. She is a very confident child.
For me she is the devils spawn and I spend almost every evening in tears after she has gone to bed. I dread collecting her in the evenings, I would rather be at work and weekends are a nightmare.
This evening, in the park, she has spoken to me like a piece of shit, I am sick of being humiliated and constantly feeling like I have no control.
She wanted to go out of her bike after diner, so at 6.10 I say we can got out until bedtime. Our side gate opens onto the park and there is also a play area. She cycles up and down on her bike, then see's a dog, abandons bike and runs towards dog (we have a dog and she knows this dog so not a problem as she knows to ask before petting a strange dog). Her bike is on a slope (about 20 yards away so couldn't grab it), so I call after her three times, she totally blanks me, so I let the bike roll into undergrowth and wait. She comes stomping back over shouting at me to get her bike, it will be my fault if it's scratched, get my pine cone (it was in the basket) etc. She drags it out, while I tell her if she continues to shout we will go home, turns on tears and snivelling that she doesn't want to blah blah.
We then go in the play area, all fine until another family turn up. I have always told her not to go up the slide when other children and playing, fine when we are on our own. She immediately goes up the slide and the little girl does the same, DD blocks the top of the slide saying her shoes are slipping, I ask her to move, more verbal from her.
Everything this other little girl does (who was 3), DD says I can do that without holding my arms out/faster/higher, with a real attitude. I warn her again and after another incident, she give me attitude again saying "it's not you park you can't tell me what to do", I remove her and take her home with her screaming, you don't love me, you are horrible blah blah.
So I have put her to bed, with no story. She is currently screaming at me from the top of the stairs and has gone from she is sorry, when that didn't work, to I hate you, it's your fault I am naughty because you are horrible.
I am sat here in tears not knowing what I am going to do and worrying I am ruining her. DH says I am not firm enough, but we seem to be in a never ending cycle and I don't know what to do !