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Original poster

Taking Baby To A Wedding Advice Please

18 replies

Gizmo100 · 21/08/2006 23:55

I am taking my 6 month breastfed baby to a wedding 4 hours from home this weekend. I cant leave her because she has for the last 3 months refused a bottle and isnt fussed on a cup (the joys of breastfeeding!!). The bride didnt want any children at the wedding therefore doesnt want them in the service (ok with me). However the meal will be at 5.30pm and my daughter is a nightmare to get to sleep (takes me 1 hour to do this every night at home) and doesnt sleep til 7pm. However my mum in law thinks I should get a monitor and put it in our room and listen in at the reception whilst we are at the meal. This is what another guest is doing with their baby. I am a 1st time mum and I am unsure with her being up there alone bar from the fact she never sleeps when you want her to. Although dont know if I am being daft about this. Has anyone else been in this situation and how did they resolve. Sorry for it being long winded.
Gizmo100

OP posts:

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shazronnie · 22/08/2006 07:55

personally i would settle the baby first; if that meant missing the meal, then that is what I would do (pack a snack and get someone to save your pudding at the table.) i think it would be ok to leave the baby in the room, and use the monitor when she is settled, so you can join everyone else.

If the bride is not happy you are missing the meal that's tough - babies don't conform to adult requests alot of the time!

girrafey · 22/08/2006 08:00

well if the bride is ok with you and this other lady taking your babies as you have to. ( though understand she doesnt want them in the service) i would take your baby in a pushchair or a rocking car seat. ( last one is smaller) and then the baby can sit next to you at the meal and in the evening etc. alot of people will want to give cuddles and be willing to take over in the rocking to sleep etc. you will find the baby will be ok if you are there and having a good time, they pick up on it. been to many family and friends events were this happens and we used to do it with my dd. ( though now we use the pushchair) some people will say leave in the room happily and i might consider it if it was close, private hotel so only wedding quests etc but i personally couldnt relax. hth.

morethan1 · 22/08/2006 08:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sophiewd · 22/08/2006 10:17

we took our dd to a wedding at 9 weeks. We didn't do the service, my dh did and then I missed most of the reception as feeding and settled her in a room which someone lent me and made it back for the meal. Luckily with a TV on she was happy.

nannymcphee · 22/08/2006 10:44

I would take her with me into the reception. with a rock-a-tot car seat. She can sit in the seat whilst you eat your supper (hopefully!), and if not, there will be enough people to cuddle her. Then if she can see you or your DH then she may well go to sleep in the seat and you could just leave her there. I would really try not to worry, because whatever you plan you have to be flexible don't you. Just go with the flo - and how great to have an excuse to miss the service!! Sit down with a coffee and trashy magazine! Good luck

blueshoes · 22/08/2006 10:49

Gizmo, definitely do-able, but you will have to play it by ear. Keep dd with you at the meal until her bedtime - you would need to check with the couple that they are ok with that. I wore clothes that I could discreetly breastfeed in at the table to settle baby if necessary. 5:30 to 7 pm tends to be arsenic hour.

Eat as much as you can whilst dd allows you. Then when she starts to feel tired or get overstimmed, go to the room and settle her, however long it takes. Leave her in the room and come down again with the baby monitor for the rest of the meal/speeches.

You should check ahead of time that the baby monitor is within range of the room.

Just bear in mind that at any point, you might have to leave the table and take dd to the room if she is not coping well. My dd's last wedding was when she was 2.5 years and I was still in and out of the reception, when she got noisy, including roaring like a lion during the best man's speech.

morningpaper · 22/08/2006 10:53

Once she is settled, does she stay asleep? If so, then you could try the monitor.

Personally I would get a big pram and put her in that, when she starts getting crabby take her for a walk until she sleeps.

To be honest if the Bride doesn't really want babies there then I wouldn't attend - it would feel too stressful and every peep from the baby I know would be unwelcome.

However I WOULD take her into the service - I would just stand at the back with her on a hip-seat and leave if she made any noise.

yawningmonster · 22/08/2006 10:55

We went to a no children wedding when ds was 3mths old. We ended up renting a nearby holiday home and his grandparents stayed there with him. I left expressed milk which he wouldnt take so went snuck out to feed him when he needed it. He was also a nightmare sleeper but that applied whether I was there or not so after I fed him PIL wheeled him around the grounds of the holiday home approximately 3004 times until we returned. (So for wedding was gone for about 3hrs, fed him, dinner etc about 1/5hours.

oliveoil · 22/08/2006 11:00

I went to a wedding a couple of weeks ago and there was a baby there who was about 3 months old and she was there for the WHOLE of the wedding - service etc.

Got a bit cranky but was fussed over by about 20 willing clucky women (me included) and assorted grandparents etc.

Children were welcome at this wedding however, I wouldn't attend one that wasn't for the very reasons that morningpaper states.

bamboo · 22/08/2006 11:16

Honestly? .... I wouldn't go either - is it someone you're particularly close to? With my ds I would have had no reservations about toting him about anywhere until he collapsed asleep and he would have been fine. dd, on the other hand, was a nightmare (really colicky, unsettled) and I couldn't have relaxed at a child unfriendly wedding.

Also I wouldn't leave mine alone in a hotel room. I'm just not comfortable with it.

melrose · 22/08/2006 11:35

I would go! Phone the hotel now and explain that you want a room that is close to where the meal is so that the baby monitor will work, I have done this in the past and found them very accomodating. I would stand/sit at the back of the service if your baby is in a good mood, could you time it to be feeding time and shove baby on boob, guaranteed peace!

Could you take her to the meal and then slip away to put her to sleep in her room, the bride and groom are unlikely to even notice your absence! Then when aleep leave in room with monitor. I ahve left DS in a hotel room several times, including 2 weddings and he was fine. Not really that different from leaving them asleep upstairs at home whilst you sit downstairs IMO. DH and I took turns to go and check on him (DH actually more jitterry about thsi than me)

Good luck and enjoy your friend's wedding!

morningpaper · 22/08/2006 11:37

Bear in mind also that your monitor may not work / might clash with existing equipment / might clash with the other people's monitor. This has happened to me in the past. Hotels also often have rooms which seem 'near' to the eating area but actually due tot he layout are out of reach for monitors.

Not trying to SCARE you, just plan for this eventuality.

oliveoil · 22/08/2006 11:39

IF I went to a child unfriendly wedding (), I would bring baby in pram/buggy into the dining area, then hopefully they will fall asleep.

You will be able to eat in shifts with your dh or any other willing volunteers to wheel baby around to sleep.

I personally would not leave my dd's in a room on their own in a hotel, I would be v anxious and not enjoy myself.

fluffymum · 22/08/2006 12:38

Personally can't understand why people want child free wedding. We had about 20 at our wedding and they are such fun, they made the day for me and everyone else! I can understand for financial reasons, but come on, a baby!? I took ds 1 to childfree wedding when he was three weeks old. One other baby there too. Went to church (bf in church to keep quiet-sit at back-though i didn't but did know groom very well). Spent most of meal wheeling him around hotel gardens in buggy. To be honest everyone wanted to help, push buggy etc...once they had a few drinks wanted to change nappy and everything. I can understand you not wanting to leave baby in hotel room. i wouln't, not even now but that is persdonal choice. If you want your baby that is fine. Honestly the bride will be so excited getting married she won't notice. Relax, it'll work out fine. Enjoy the wedding, enjoy the baby you will both be welcomed there!! ve of his great grandpa. Fond memories.

rarrie · 22/08/2006 16:12

Personally, I would not be happy with leaving a baby in a room alone - with or without listening device. Just the thought of a fire breaking out etc I know its not likely, but even so....

Personally, I'd have a chat with the bride and take things from there. I can understand that she doesn't want babies at the wedding, so maybe skip that bit and ask for a table near the door so you can keep baby close to you and duck out if your child gets upset etc. personally, I'd take a pram or car seat or something that the baby can sleep in for the night and take it from there.
Also, get yourself one of those specific breastfeeding tops and shove a boob in baby's mouth if it starts to get whingey and you're eating!

Katerina75 · 23/08/2006 10:06

I took my baby to a wedding last weekend (he's 10 weeks) - there were a few other babies there, including a 7 week old & they were all happy throughout the meal and even the dancing just at the table in their car seats or prams. All the babies got lots of attention from the other guests. It's easier if you accept the fact that you might need to leave the room at any time! The monitor idea could work if you were sure that you would be able to hear it, get back to the room quickly etc but I think it's easier just to have the baby with you?

Original poster

Gizmo100 · 23/08/2006 17:32

I cant believe how many replies there are - thank you everyone for your advice. Forgot to mention that the bride doesnt want any babies at the meal either! In fact the meal is at 5.30pm so I have no hope in getting her down then! I think I should have said I wasnt going. Please note her baby niece also has the same restrictions as me. She said she didnt want children at the wedding as she isnt allowing her friends to brings theirs - none of them are babies. I am going to ring and get a room near the reception - I know one other person who is taking an intercom so will make sure it doesnt clash. By the way she is a teacher!!!
Thanks again
Gizmo100

OP posts:

morningpaper · 23/08/2006 20:24

Cor blimey

Bridezilla or what

Good luck - I hope you get some time to enjoy yourself. xxx

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