Why doesn't my son like a big birthday party?

[Fiona2011231]

Could you pls advise?

My 5-year-old son is normally shy in public. However, he is happy playing with other children in his class. Since he joined the reception class, his teachers never told me I should be worried about his interaction with people.

However, in the run up to his birthday, when I asked him whether he wanted to invite his friends, he said no. He said he only wanted us parents and his younger brother around with him.

We are a bit surprised and were wondering whether it is normal.
What do you think?
My sincere thanks,

Has he been to other kids' parties? Does he enjoy them?

Hi,

My son has been to other parties quite a few times. He did enjoy the atmosphere. However, I noticed that he still prefers to play alone or with us parents at those parties.

Maybe he just doesn't like loud noise, and lots of chaos. That is fine.

I have always given my DC choice over what they do for their birthdays - sometimes we have done a trip instead.

Some adults don't like parties much either.

Maybe he doesn't want to be the centre of attention.

Normal comes in many guises! He simply may not like being the centre of attention. A friend of mine's Dc was like that. She didn't want to disrespect her DC's wishes but organised a low key playdate with a few little friends (3 or 4 max), told the parents it was a very low key celebration because the DC didn't want a party, they had a cake and little party bags, played some partyish games but all very unorganised. The DC was told it wasn't a party just a special playdate. It was lovely, the birthday DC was quietly thrilled.

Noisy, out of his control?
I didn't know what to do about ds's fifth as it was just after starting Reception, so was quite glad when he said he wanted his four friends from nursery/local area and no-one else.
As far as they were concerned it was a great party because there was crisps and cake and party bags and they all played Lego for two hours!

I think it's normal. My ds1 is 5 also, he's very out-going, sociable and very active, loads of friends but at home and for special occassions he prefers to just play with his siblings and have small family parties.

My son (4) is quite introverted. As is his dad. They both hate being centre of attention..... At his 4th birthday there were a few friends there and he had a great time as it was low key and not always focused on him. Just friends playing like they would at the park.... Maybe an outside party or low key gathering would work for your son?. My son hated the candles bit, he buried himself in to me.... I have learnt from this for next time x

I'm with your son! Sensible lad...

I used to run children's parties for a job. Quite often the birthday child would be so overwhelmed that they wouldn't enjoy their own party. Party guests would be very happy but the birthday child would be clingy (when not normally).
I wouldn't make your DS have a big party if he doesn't want to.