Dd not interacting with others - what can I do??

[Tensmumym]

Dd is 6 and a half and has always been quiet at school and was on an IEP in Reception because she was socially excluded as she wouldn't even put her hand up to go to the loo. The IEP ended at the end of Reception as she had made so much progress. She has got better a lot better at speaking up in class and will now chat happily to teachers. I have just been to watch the Easter Bonnet parade at school. For the whole 30 minutes or more that I was there she didn't interact with anyone. I was standing nearby and got her to move a couple of times to sit near one of the quieter, nice girls but one of these girls, who she plays the most with, didn't speak to her at all and had her body turned to the girl beside her. The next time the girl she went to sit beside moved to sit beside someone else and another boy moved as well. She doesn't seem to be visibly upset about it and is a bit of a dreamer so likes to sit and observe. It just feels like she is being excluded and I think must be bothered by it on some level. I have spoken to her teacher at parents' evening a month ago about concerns that she is isolated in the playground. She said she would speak to the playground supervisor to possibly organise activities she could join in but haven't heard anything from the teacher so will chase this up. Obviously there is only so much a teacher can do but it seems clear that she is not being socially included. Is there more the teachers could be doing and if so what? Thanks.

Various things spring to mind. Maybe she needs to be assessed for Aspergers or possibly she is shy/introvert? I my friend successfully used role play and acting classes to assist with confidence.

Thanks Barbara. I think she is definitely shy/introverted. We are going to organise a playdate with one of the girls who just ignored her at assembly and she is very keen for that to happen. At home and meeting neighbours and friends she is very bubbly and chatty. These people can't believe she is so quiet at school. Did your friend use role play with her own child? Do you know what sort of things she did? I do practise with her at home what to say to children and she does make the effort but I think she has been quiet for so long that the children don't think to sit beside or interact with her.

this sounds a lot like my dd, she's 7 now and has got much more confident the last year or so; the playdates with lots of 1-on-1 interactions are a good idea, she is noisy and full of fun at home, but so quiet and shy at school, I think the teachers forget she's there tbh. I will never forget I was seeing the head about something with the dc in with me, and she was chattering away - the teachers looked at her open mouthed like she'd never spoken before

she's kind of a dreamer and reserved with her friends, does she do brownies/sport/swimming/music? all those kind of things build confidence and mix it up with different kids

Thanks Chaffinch. She does do Rainbows, where she is the same as she is at school but has recently done a sleepover with Rainbows and seems to have bonded with one of the girls. That's all we really want, her to have at least one good friend who will choose to sit beside her. She also does piano and loves singing. She did Stagecoach for a few terms but was as reserved there as she is at home. If you're in London we could organise a playdate- sounds like they would get on.

My friends DD did acting classes and the mum did role play too. It was quite helpful

Thanks Barbara.

ah boo I'm west midlands!

That's a shame. They could become penpals? We could introduce them to the old fashioned notion of writing and receiving letters.

Bump