Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

Do you serve pudding even if they haven't finished their main course?

60 replies

PrettyCandles · 20/08/2006 23:22

That's my question. Thinking about young ones - mine are 5 and 3, one a fussy eater, one a good eater.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

lazycow · 21/08/2006 15:54

We don't really have desserts in our house only fruit or yoghurt. I do bake bisuits sometimes but there are never any left for after dinner

Ds can definitely have fruit or yoghurt even if he hasn't finished eating. Also if we had dessert I'd let him have that I think. It would depend on the child though if ds had consistently not eaten his meals for days and always polished off his pudding I might worry.

lazycow · 21/08/2006 15:56

BTW - we don't have pudding because I don't have the time to cook them as well as everything else and the bought ones are expensive or have loads of crap in them. Also I would eat then all myself before they made it to the table (major sugar addict here)

lazycow · 21/08/2006 15:59

Am so jealous at enid's choice of lovely desserts - Don't know about ds but I'd have all the desserts and no main course

justamum · 21/08/2006 16:01

as someone who has a weight problem i try not to make puddings/ treats a reward for eating all dinner or good behaviour
I usually have yoghurt or fruit available most of the time, if he wants a yoghurt first then i don't really have a problem. Although i am fortunate in that ds is a good eater and willingly eats a good diet so there isn't usually an issue.
i am also a believer that being forced to empty plates is not a good idea and forces children to stop listening to their own bodies. toddlers can survive on suprisingly little anyway. i don't want to pass my issues with food on to my kids.

nzshar · 21/08/2006 16:02

We dont have puddings as such in our house its either fruit or yoghurt.
I expect and always have (dss 12 years and ds 2.2) that at least all things on the plate are tried. We dont serve things that we know each of them really detest (green beans to dss or corn to ds)If there is not a reasonable amount of trying then no we dont allow them to have afters. But OTOH we dont expect a clean plate either.
DS is fruit mad so eats it as a snack throughout the day so not too bothered about lack of nutrition or anything like that.

octavia · 21/08/2006 16:34

According to Ds puddings/nice things go into a seperate tummy so even though the dinner tummy is full the pudding one isn't !

clumsymum · 21/08/2006 16:38

Octavia,

That child will go far

Piffle · 21/08/2006 16:42

We often do not have pudding in fact rarely.
DS is 12 and it's no issue with him eating main course, only if he'll ever actually feel full...
He'll grab a hot chocolate later on.
DD is 3 and she usually eats well and so long as she makes a good stab at her dinner she will get a biscuit or a few white chocolate buttons.
In winter time I will make a pudding at the weekends, crumble and custard/rice pudding/sago
Dd has quite high calorific requirements which can only be met with sugar so not giving her pudding or treats would be somewhat counter productive

hotmama · 21/08/2006 16:42

Dd1 has either yogurt or fruit - these aren't treats but are part of her food for the day - so if she doesn't want her dinner she still gets to eat her yogurt. Usually, she will go back to eating her dinner anyway.

I try not to treat any particular food as special as I don't want my dd's to see food as anything but nutritional and definitley not having any 'emotional' meaning. This is more because of me having hang-ups with food - and I don't want to pass this misery on.

Piffle · 21/08/2006 16:43

Ha ha !!!
Ds used to say he had a seperate pudding lane as well now I recall....

sleepysooz · 21/08/2006 17:10

My twins have what they call 'bits n bobs' at around 10.30 - 11am which consists of strawberries, grapes, tomatoes, ham, coleslaw, etc then about 1pm they have a pasta dish of somekind, and if they are still hungry they have a banana or apple and a freshly juiced fruit drink! I find them eating fruit quashes any need for puddings, mind you its what they get used to.

We have just been to visit family, and they fed my twins sweets, the kiddies thought it was their birthday, and they moaned for 4 days, until they forgot (I hope)

I'm not saying my DH is as strict as me, cause when I'm at work, I'm sure he feeds them what I wouldn't!

In the winter it will be stews, stews and more stews! I find if you have 'candlelit suppers' (thats what my 10yo ds calls them) all sat round the table, they can't see what they are eating, and its gone! they are too interested in who's going to blow the candles out!

Don't get me wrong they are allowed treats like biscuits and ice-cream, but thats generally suppertime

pointydog · 21/08/2006 17:14

Oof, sago. Bad memories. I definitely don't have a sago lane.

Sunnysideup · 21/08/2006 17:19

sleepy, I love the idea of your candlelit suppers...and I would like to eat at Enid's...mmm, plum crumble....

I'm the same as many here, pudding is on offer most days and I don't believe in the 'clear your plate' thing, I think we have a better understanding nowadays of the healthiness of eating till we're full rather than a plateful for the sake of it.

Candlelit suppers on the way for us this autumn!

clumsymum · 21/08/2006 17:41

Just as a reminder for those who talk about us having a better understanding of child's nutrition needs.

I believe the whole "Clear your plate" psychology came from wartime britain, when rationing really was strict, and if you had queued for food, then eked out what you had to make something tasty, then you really needed to eat it all up, if only to stop feeling hungry by the next meal.
But because there were very few sweets, and no big macs then our people were less likely to have problems with obesity/high cholesterol etc (altho I guess there were pretty fatty cuts of meat etc. My mums favourite was Stew and dumplings. Little meat, loads of suet dumplings)

Celia2 · 21/08/2006 18:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Blondilocks · 21/08/2006 18:30

It depends. If I have given her a big dinner & she has tackled it well then I will. If she's been moaning & picking & refusing to eat things then I don't let her.

wannaBe1974 · 21/08/2006 18:56

pudding is usually fruit in our house, and sometimes if he eats all his fruit then he can have a biscuit or a minni roll or similar. I do expect him to eat a decent amount of his dinner though, will always give the fruit bu not minni roll if he hasn't eaten a decent amount. I don't expect him to clear his plate as generally I'm bad at estimating and tend to put too much on it to start with. Similarly if we go out he's expected to make a good effort, but generally restaurants serve horrendously huge child's portions - they must waste so much food.

clairemow · 21/08/2006 19:11

Depends. I don't let DS (2.3) have pudding if he's only taken 2 mouthfuls of main and then says "I finished, want some pudding". But I don't make him finish the whole plate either. Pudding's always fruit or yoghurt or a mixture of both.

Love the idea of candlelit dinners for toddlers - I'm going to try that one!

Original poster

PrettyCandles · 21/08/2006 19:36

What if the children take longer to eat than the adults, how long do you wait before serving pudding? Or if one child is lagging way behind the rest of the family?

OP posts:

poopy · 21/08/2006 20:12

An interesting thread.

I don't regard fruit as 'pudding'. Fruit is a necessary part of their diet and is always on offer, any time of day. To me 'pudding' is a treat, something sweet and 'naughty' - steamed puddings, crumbles (still got loads of sugar in haven't they?), chocolate cake etc ...
My children do have 'treats' ... I do chuck them a biscuit now and again so I don't see the point in putting more sugar into them after a meal.
Like others here I was made to finish my plate as a child - i do believe that is an unhealthy habit to teach.

pointydog · 21/08/2006 21:35

Prettycandles, maybe it's just my kids but I don't think they have ever finished after the adults! They scoff down as much or little as they want, then start getting yoghurts, rummaging for spoons and asking for biscuits, often making mealtime unrelaxing and giving me indigestion!

stripeybumpsmum · 21/08/2006 21:45

Octavia's lo is technically correct.I understand that our brains can say 'yes we are full' to one type of food, but 'oh, no, not full, space for so much more!' to another type.

Apparently in France, they place great emphasis on what pg women eat because taste can develop in utero. Although my lo eats everything even after hyper emisis!

I think puddings can actually be very helpful at getting in essential stuff - think fruit, think milky custard etc. You can make crumble topping with oats or crushed pumpkin seeds to replace sugar so super healthy and frankly delicious.

I think we could be hung up on a cultural thing of savoury first sweet later.

Ahmet Zappa was interviewed in Radio 4 this week, saying because dad Frank worked all night, they had the main family meal at breakfast, with breakfast at tea. He was perfectly happy with that except he couldn't get Lamb Curry for breakfast anywhere in LA!

octavia · 21/08/2006 22:09

clever child ! obviously gets it from his mother

Gillian76 · 21/08/2006 22:18

Homemade toffe, Enid?

I'll be round directly

We don't do pudding much but when we do, I generally like to see a good attempt at the main course first. I don't insist on 'clean plates' but we also have one that would eat goodies all day if given the choice!

muma3 · 21/08/2006 22:20

no i give the smallest portions to my dd2 and she still wont eat it . she gets bored eating and decideds she cant be bothered anymore. will ask for a pudding and i say no . i have reheated dinners before as hse gets so hungry when she doesnt eat .

but im just a horrible meany

Flip

1 2 3