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Behaviour/development

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Original poster

Do you serve pudding even if they haven't finished their main course?

60 replies

PrettyCandles · 20/08/2006 23:22

That's my question. Thinking about young ones - mine are 5 and 3, one a fussy eater, one a good eater.

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hunkermunker · 20/08/2006 23:24

Yes.

DS1 goes back to his dinner after a bit of pudding (usually yoghurt). Then back to his pudding. Then back to his dinner.

Adorabelle · 20/08/2006 23:31

I think you should always offer pudding, so
long as it's fruit,yoghurt, or some other homemade niceness! An apple/rhubarb crumble maybe,
something sweet but also something you know what has been put in it

CarolinaMoon · 20/08/2006 23:33

ds is nearly two and I don't usually bother offering pudding, unless he's eaten all available main course and is still hungry.

He has fruit during the day as a snack.

skerriesmum · 20/08/2006 23:33

No, my son is 3 and he knows that if he's hungry enough to eat pudding then he can finish his main course first. He does get at least one treat though during the day as a snack (biscuits or ice cream on a hot day) so he's not deprived!

hunkermunker · 20/08/2006 23:35

I don't believe in making any food a "treat" - and since it's only a yoghurt DS1 wants, I don't see any point not letting him have it - if I stop him having it he doesn't eat any more dinner at all - if he has it, he eats dinner plus yoghurt. He's 2.4.

Pisces · 20/08/2006 23:37

I do. I think that the days when we had to "eat it all up" are gone. I hope they are anyway as I teach my children to eat until they feel full and then to leave the rest. If they know pudding is coming (Sunday's only!) then they have to bear that in mind. I don't want food to be an issue with my children.

expatinscotland · 20/08/2006 23:40

W/the 3 year old, NO.

Otherwise she will eat nothing but puds.

I do a lot of home baking, but she needs to learn that this is not a substitute for eating her tea.

We used to, but she started taking the mick.

She's not got too big an appetite as it is - DH and I are the same way - and she's skinny as a whippet, so she really needs a good meal.

hunkermunker · 20/08/2006 23:43

Depends on the child, I think. DS1 is totally dinner-mad and refuses cake and "proper" puddings - if he was different, I'd probably have a different approach.

myturn · 20/08/2006 23:57

No. Because we don't have pudding. I am an evil mother.

cowmad · 20/08/2006 23:58

yes,but they will sit an wait till we are all ready for it,an if they are still hungry they can have 2 bowls!!enough probs in this house without adding that one to it!!

yawningmonster · 21/08/2006 00:29

We dont have pudding on a regular basis but will usually at least have fruit. We have dinner quite early about 4.30/5 for ds and then I offer pudding/porridge or fruit about 6.30 so he is full when he goes to bed, I do this regardless of how much dinner he has eaten as they are so far apart in time he just sees it as another meal not a reward for eating or not eating tea iyswim.

jasper · 21/08/2006 00:36

myturn

cat64 · 21/08/2006 00:41

This reply has been deleted

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bloss · 21/08/2006 02:14

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Alibaldi · 21/08/2006 02:24

Pudding here tends to be fruit or frozen yoghurt. And to be quite honest they only want the pudding kind of puddings once in a blue moon, they'd much prefer fruit or yoghurt and as others say on here as long as they make a good attempt with main course they can have a dessert. They're brilliant and will try anything - had fresh scallops for dinner tonight with smoked salmon and fresh zucchini and squash.

poopy · 21/08/2006 03:41

I don't give puddings either, so I am in the evil mother camp

threebob · 21/08/2006 04:05

If ds eats his tea lightening fast without chewing then I pull some soy ice cream out of the freezer. If we have people for tea there is pudding - and I would give it to him whatever. But he is a good eater and eats veggies etc.

I may have a different approach if things were different. I love puddings, and as I can't eat wheat our puddings are usually gluten free cake or something else stodgy because I am sick of blooomin rice.

monkey · 21/08/2006 14:33

I don't make them finish up. I don't think making them clear thier plate is a good habit. They do have to at least try everything, and make a reasonable attempt. I don't believe in making them choke back stuff if they don't like it. Nor do I think it's fair to make them stuff themselves & eat more than they want to in the promise of more food.

I think it's pretty obvious if they're trying it on. I'm quite relaxed. as long as you're not feeding them crap, either for main meal or desert I don't worry too much.

Don't do desert all time tho.

noonar · 21/08/2006 14:51

I sort of don't believe in making pudding conditional, as it sets up the idea that sweet stuff is more desirable and you have to tolerate the rest of the meal in order to get it!
however, i do end up getting drawn into a debate with dd1 about pud. i try to word things very carefully with dd - 4, eg if she asks for pud, i point out that she can't just live on sweet things, so if she eats more of her main course, she will be having a better balance, so pud would be ok.

pointydog · 21/08/2006 15:23

I never make them clean their plates as I think it's unhealthy to make up a load of conditions about different types of food. Pudding is usually yoghurt, choc mousse, fruit and a biscuit. Avoids any issues about not allowing 'the treat'.

clumsymum · 21/08/2006 15:31

Two friends of mine (who are sisters) both have a weight problem, and both say it is becos they were made to clear their plates when they were children. Now if they go out for a meal, they will eat until everything is gone, even if they feel full. The older one also says she will get herself a meal ready becos it's mealtime, even if she's not hungry.

I think it's a very unhealthy thing to force children to eat more than they want, anyway, ds would just have thrown up I think, if I'd tried it with him.

But I do tend to serve smallish helpings (with seconds if required) and we often have fruit or yoghurt as pudding, the occasional treat of homemade cake or homemade ice cream.

Enid · 21/08/2006 15:35

yes

I can never believe these threads (the no pudding mums)

Thomcat · 21/08/2006 15:36

Yes I do. Sometimes she just doesn't feel like eating all her main and as dessert is usually fruit or yoghurt then I don't see why not.
I don't want to 'punish' her for not being able to eat or fancy all of her main meal.

Havig to finish everything on your plate isn't healthy.

If desert is fruit or something healthy then I don't see the problem.

If they don't eat dinner because they know it's chocolate cake and / or ice-cream for desert then the parent needs to make some changes to the menu.

CheesyFeet · 21/08/2006 15:36

DD (2.1) generally has yogurt or a banana for pudding when she's at home so I don't mind if she hasn't eaten all her main meal first. I have loads of food issues and often eat when I'm not really hungry and I don't want to pass that off on her by forcing food on her that she doesn't want. She's a good eater though and usually eats what's put in front of her.

Enid · 21/08/2006 15:37

I give mine a choice of puddings too. today was plums, plum crumble (with or without custard), yogurt, homemade toffee or a muffin.

if they dont make a reasonable effort with the main course they dont get pudding (although this does not work with dd2 as she doesnt like puddings much)

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