Support thread for speech and language delay.......

[jaybirdsinginginthedeadofnight]

I know this has been done before on here, but I couldn't find anything recent and am sure there is someone out there going through similar worries to us. So if you want to share your experiences/worries come join me

DD turns 2 in 2 weeks and has no words, not one! She babbles constantly and has added new 'c' 's' and 'th' sounds to her babbling in the last week. Her understanding seems good and she has her own way of letting us know what she wants (point & whinge a lot). She will have her 2 year assessment next week, I intend on broaching the subject of SALT.

I am sooooo anxious about all of this. DD's cousin is 6months older, and as her speech has developed well she seems leaps and bounds ahead of DD

Hello great thread. My Ds 27 months has no speech at all and has expressive and receptive language delay we started makaton signing with him in October after we went to a speech and language drop in. I have only just finished a course I was put on called helping your child to communicate which is based on Hanen and we need to go for a reassessment in May. But the salt told me that I cant really do anything more as Im already going it. We read daily to him he done music time since birth talk to him basically everything I did with his 2 sisters who spoke early. We had to teach him to nod yes and no can do a couple of animal sounds but they are not correct. But we have just been awarded 2 year funding which we are really pleased about hes starting to come out of his shell abit but we've been told he will need 1 to 1 therapy. Bloody fed up of keep having to explain to people when we are out and about as they just assume he is ignoring them !!!

Hi skuntoo and welcome.
jaybird thanks . DS speech therapy didn't actually start until he was four (we first raised concerns at his two year check but were told to just keep an eye on it and then with waiting list etc it took a while to get started) so I'm not so confident with ideas for younger children. Maybe somebody else will be more knowledgable. Other than carrying on with everything you are already doing- it may seem like it's not helping as you have always done it, but it will be helping and building a good foundation for when they are ready to start talking.

One thing I read on a blog recently was about when you are reading stories. At bedtime I tended to have DS next to me looking at the book with me. This blog suggested it is better to sit face to face so that they see your face as your reading. I did this when 'talking' generally but not at story time, it just didn't occur to me- that might just be me and you may already do this.

Have a good day all

Hello I'm new on the thread but wanted to respond to skuntoo. My DS1 is mostly non verbal at age 5 he was in speech therapy from around age 2. it sounds like you're doing everything you can, just persist with the signing. It took my son 18 months to sign back but he now has hundreds of signs.

Just thought I would join this thread too - it's great to have other people in the same position to swap notes and offer support!

My DS is 16 months old and no words at all. He does babble a lot though (including mamama and dadada but not directed at us) and will have mini conversations with us comprising various sounds and noises - he'll copy a lot of noises we make but he's not at all interested in copying words!

His general communication is lacking too (no pointing or shared interest although he will clap and wave) so we are trying everything really - enrolling him to nursery one morning a week, taking him to developmental paediatricians, SALTs and having his hearing checked (apparently he has a lot of wax which might mean he isn't hearing things clearly).

I do know of one boy who didn't say one word until he was three and is now absolutely fine so fingers crossed my DS is just a bit slow and will get there eventually...

Hi Hedger. I was thinking about you the other day. We're leaving soon for the hearing test and thought I'd let you know that LittleElf is now pointing at books and when she wants something we have!

That's great Dontwannabeobamaself! I think if they are communicating non-verbally at that age the delayed speech shouldn't be anything too serious. I am pointing at things like a mad woman so hoping DS will cotton on at some point! He's definitely improved with some things like clapping and waving so we'll see. I'm feeling much calmer about the whole thing in any event.

Let us know how the hearing test goes .

Does anyone else find it hard not to understand why a delay happens and perhaps feel to blame?
I have discussed with SALT, HV, but no-one can give me an answer.
I did have an evening having several units of alcohol before I found out I was pregnant, my OH has a bit of a speech hesitation- and he too blames himself!!

My children have grown up un a home rich in stimulation, books toys, music, one to one talk, singing. My OH and I are graduates, love learning and conversation and I became a SAHM to devote my time to raising my kids. We attended toddler groups, playgroups, library sessions, sing a longs etc but I stll can't shrug off the feeling that is is something that I have done to cause this.

Well LittleElf can hear just fine. Not exactly what I wanted to hear, I wanted a reason why but overall I'm glad her hearing is fine. I suppose it's just a wait and see.

Sorry you didn't get the answers you wanted Elf

atthestroke please don't be so hard on yourself. You sound like a fab and very proactive mum to me. One thing I am learning watching my dcs grow up is that they are all totally different from each other and I think genes and personality play a huge part as much as nurture does. They all also get there in their own time and way. I still beat myself up a little bit for not spotting dc3's hearing loss much sooner so you should definitely do as I say and not as I do

atthestroke totally understand where you are coming from, DD was IVF and had some growth issues during pregnancy plus the placenta matured very fast I keep wondering if any of these have contributed! It's just what you do, look for a reason behind everything when sometimes there just isn't one. DD is so clever and it breaks my heart when she's getting soooo frustrated with tears streaming because she can't get across to me what she wants, I feel like crying with her (but then that's prob somewhat caused by sleep deprivation from DS ). I'm just trying to remain positive!

Wondering also did it take you longer to potty train LO's with delays? I don't think DD would get it if I tried to explain the concept, not that I'm gonna try any time soon, but had wondered about the logistics of things like that when they can't communicate with you.

atthestroke, I actually know why my DDs were delayed talkers. My family has a history of severe speech delay. I could give loads of examples, but I think it's enough to say that I didn't talk until I was four.

And sometimes I do feel guilty about it - logically I know this is rubbish, but the feeling remains.

A couple of years back some government adviser stated that children were increasingly having speech issues because of overuse of TVs/tablets, etc. Her statement actually made me cry, because it showed me what many people actually think about me and my children. DH sensibly pointed out that she wasn't speaking to me.

You sound like you're doing everything right. Sometimes, no matter what we do, children don't do what they're meant to! They may have a tantrum at Tescos, or be a slow speaker. As parents all we can do is support our children to the best of our abilities.

jaybird depending on the nature of your LO's delays, you may find that potty training a completely different issue - all of my DDs were potty trained well before they could talk.

Please don't blame yourself atthestroke. You are doing a great job with your DCs. I sometimes think maybe I should have done something sooner for DS in terms of getting intervention but I don't think I could have done more in terms of reading, interaction, socialisation etc. I don't think you could have done more in those respects either.

Had a chat with a private therapist today and from what I told her about DS she can't identify anything at this initial stage. His development in all other areas is good with fine motor skills being slightly advanced for his age. I said I'd get back to her about arranging an assessment. I'm not sure what to do - dp is for leaving him be and continuing what we're doing with him already and whilst I agree to some extent I think it would be worthwhile just getting him assessed and going from there.

We had a similar issue with his walking, he walked late (21months or so) but it was still within the bounds of normal with no underlying medical factors. Is it possible his speech is the same?

jaybird I was thinking the exact same thing re potty training. I think DS is ready but I was hoping he would be a little more verbal before I tried.

jeee that's quite reassuring. I'll give potty training DS a shot over Easter

elf I felt a bit like that when DS hearing test came back all fine too, not that I wanted there to be a problem but that at least I would have something that we could work on.

afterthestroke as others have said please don't blame yourself. You have done everything you can. I was told when we had DS first assessment that in many cases they just don't know what has caused a delay.
We are pretty certain that the severe silent reflux that DS had from birth until the age of four contributed to his speech disorder. The therapist agreed that it made sense and was probably the reason as there are no other underlying or developmental issues. I still often feel guilty about listening to health visitors etc when they told me it was too early and to wait. But in reality he probably wouldn't have been offered help until he was older anyway (In fact again at our first assessment we were told he would not have been given NHS therapy before the age of four in that area anyway)!

I guess part of being a parent is feeling guilty all the time! But we really shouldn't beat ourselves up.

enormouse it is entirely possible that it is the case. I hear about lots of children who were like this and were fine with no intervention at all.

I can sympathise with everyone wondering if it's something they've done or not done, but I think that, save for extreme cases, it is just the way children develop. In the same way that each will walk when they are ready, I believe each will talk when they are ready, too. Sometimes, I think all the therapy & groups etc I do for DS2, are as much about me feeling like I'm doing something.

We are slowly introducing the idea of potty training, as I'm not sure how much DS understands. We are starting off with putting him on the potty at each nappy change, then when we are home for a long time I will put him in pants for the day.

DS has made great strides this week alone in his speech. His words are a lot more, a lot clearer & he is starting to put 2 together. When he does this, it always seems to consist of 'Daddy/Mummy' plus a noun eg 'Daddy car' 'Mummy (ba)ana', but I'm hoping he will soon start to do it with other word combinations. SALT said in her report he needs to be using verbs eg 'Daddy go' or 'Mummy eat' etc. But any progress is good, I feel

That's great gutted

THanks everyone, I feel a little better.

Thing is it didn't really sink in when I had my first child, he didn't say his first word until 36 months, I did ask the HV a year earlier, she arranged a hearing test which was fine, but didn't suggest any help for the talking. It was brushed off. I didn't think to push, as it was my first, and that things would happen in their own time. DS turend into the most eloquent 4 year old and within weeks of uttering his first word was speaking fluently.
DD seemed to follow the same pattern, although again in retrospect I should have persevered with the help. WE did get a referral to SALT which was a disaster, and because things resolved so well with her brother I assumed she would follow the same pattern.
Hers was more of a bumpy ride though, she did talk at 3.5 years, but needed SALT help through the school at a few stages as some difficulties persisted
Still beat myself up a bit though. She still has some difficulties with spelling and pronunciation, but it's probably only me that notices.

Potty training- again late, but I didn't potty train. On the advive of an Egyptian friend who didn't potty train any of her 8 children.
I allowed them to decide.
Bang on age 3- for both they decided that they had enough with nappies and stopped. Straight to the toilet. Done in a day, dry day and night. Not one accident from then on. Perhaps I was lucky, but I trusted my friend and it seemed so simple that I wanted to try. It worked just as she had described.
I am no expert in this department though- I am sure there are lots of good methods that work for other children.

gutted- great to hear of the progress.

Elf - It's good to get that test done and crossed off the list as an issue so your doctor can move forward with any SALT etc. but from what you have said about LittleElf there are so may positive signs. Although of course I am no expert, from the reading I have done it seems that the key thing is that she is communicating with you, albeit non-verbally. Keep us updated.

jelly thanks good tip about reading face to face.

I think DD has a real interest in learning new things if we are doing her shape sorter for example she will hold the shape and look at me square in the eye until I say the name of the shape before she will post it in the correct hole, she waits each time until I say what the shape is called. I will always tell her the colours of toys, or we will count things. She has recently started touching objects and makes a uh uh noise as she touches each one, as if she's counting. But she never attempts to say the numbers . It is difficult to keep up all these things that I know will ultimately help her, as we are not getting any results yet.

atthestroke that is excellent about potty training your LO's, dunno if I'd be brave enough to do it that way.

Hi my DD has a speech delay - an expressive speech delay, meaning she understands everything but finds it difficult to reply. We've had speech therapy and she will have a couple more sessions in May.

I knew she was behind as soon as she started pre-school. She is 4 now though and has improved so much, she now speaks in sentences, asks questions, and has opinions. I would say she is almost up there with her peers now, but support will be in place for her when she starts school in September.

I'm afraid I found it quite frustrating at times, and used to wish I would wake up one morning and she would just start talking properly And yes, some comments from so called friends used to upset me. She used to babble a lot, so I would get "Ooh she's speaking Chinese again! Haha"

Your DD will get there Jay, they all do, some just take a little longer. And for what it's worth, my DD actually picked up a LOT of new words and phrases from watching tele, and still does. I also found letting her watch nursery rhymes on YouTube helped, she sang clearer than she talked for a while, which I was told was not a problem at all.

mybed at your friends. That is absolutely awful. Shame on them.

I just wanted to say that my DS didn't say a word until he was three. The only sound he made was 'ah'. He would point and say 'ah' or he would nod head and say 'ah'. Looking back at videos is so strange because we didn't realise at the time how silent he was. I know that seems odd but because he was so good at letting us know his needs and both DP and I were so in sync with him, we knew what he was thinking and feeling.

Anyway.

To cut a very long story short, we got a private SALT involved. To begin with she used Jolly phonics pictures, actions and sounds to develop his language. Because he had the ah sound, she introduced the long vowel sounds first " oa, igh, ai, ee" and then started with phonic t, h, p etc and then built it into words just like in phonics so t-a-p. He quickly progressed to saying sounds to word to 2 words, then 3 and so on. When he started to speak, his speech was not clear so SALT worked on that next eg he would say souse for house.

He made remarkable progress so by the time he started reception, most people could understand him. He is almost 6 now and very vocal. He talks non-stop. Literally!

Sorry for the essay but I just wanted to say that it will happen.

Hi, thought I'll join this thread. My four year old DS has a very severe language delay. says 10 words, but has a really good understanding

• He has good joint attention skills
• Communicates in other ways- i.e. gestures
• Has good play skills, good imaginative play skills but still delayed
• Shows me things out of interest

-Babbles when explaining things to me

• his non-verbal communication is his best strength...

However, at the end of it...he has gotten an ASD diagnosis...simply because he is delayed than other peers his age and sometimes likes to play by himself.

Mybed thanks, and coolcadbury the stories of a speech delayed LO coming through it all, are always reassuring to hear.

adrianna1 has your DS been going through lots of assessments etc? Am sure this has been a stressful time for you to say the least. I was talking to a man at the weekend who's son sounded similar to yours. He said once a diagnosis was given, although initially devasting (his words), and his DS got the intervention and help he needed it was the best thing. He is now thriving at a main stream school getting the help he needs.

DD's 2 year assessment is this Wednesday so anxious about that......