Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

I hate my baby

48 replies

Chickz · 02/04/2014 18:51

I love her but hate her. My 5 month old dd is constantly crying whinging and generally never happy. It gets me down so much that I've started to resent her. She's recently been given a cows milk intolerance diagnosis which may explain some of it so we have been put on new milk so maybe that will help but other than that I don't know what to do as I can't stand the crying and whining anymore. Here is what I've tried

baby wearing
baby massage
daily trip outside to a class or walk ( she cries in pram btw)
cranial osteopathy
a friend coming round to help
gaviscon, dentinox and infacol and gripe water
we have a sleeping routine where she sleeps every 2 hours ( thankfully she does sleep albeit for 30 mins a time)

She just isn't happy. I'm starting to lose my mind. And feel robbed of this time we are supposed to share together. I'm so jealous of other mums that sit in cafes with happy babies. Mine has never been happy. People say hang in there but I've been hanging for 5 months and nothing has improved. Please help! What am I doing wrong?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

IamMrsJones · 02/04/2014 20:36

Sorry, meant to add. This is such a difficult age, as they can't do much at this stage and they seem to get a bit frustrated anyway. Hang on in there, you sound like you are doing an amazing job. here, have this!

kerala · 02/04/2014 20:36

Dd1 was like this nearly broke me. I read an article that I felt explained it for me - that it was a developmental stage in the brain. Dd fed well and nappies were fine so I felt it was in her head. All sort of came together at 8 months but remember well pounding the pavements with her yelling. Builders used to shout suggestions as we stormed past! Happy days not.

WhoAteAllTheCremeEggs · 02/04/2014 20:43

Ds had milk intolerance and reflux, give it a little time you really will be amazed the difference the milk change makes (plus redetadine for ds) within 3 weeks he was a different baby.

MakkaPakkasSponge · 02/04/2014 20:44

I've got a whingey baby too. He got better as he was able to do more (crawling walking etc..) but is still a bit of a whinger at 1.5 years.
It has totally put me off having a second child. I'm not lucky enough to risk it.
But things are so much better now he's older.
It helps so much if you have someone you can pass the baby to, just to get a break.

Poshers · 02/04/2014 21:06

I am in exactly the same position! My DS is 4 Months & swear to god I don't know how I get through each day.

I really hope it does get better, I do believe it does .... hang in there (even if it is by a very tiny thread!!) xx

Original poster

Chickz · 02/04/2014 21:27

Yes we think she has reflux too. So we give her infant gaviscon, rantidine and keep her upright after feeds and elevate her cot. I've tried everything, trust me!!
I've been 'hanging in there' for 5 months. I'm not sure how much more I can do. I have a friend that comes round two afternoons a week which helps but even she's starting to make excuses to avoid coming round, lol. Dds crying is even starting to get her down.

OP posts:

TheAuthoress · 02/04/2014 21:29

My dd is another very grumpy and demanding baby, I know it's no consolation but as all the responses have shown, you definitely aren't alone!

She is my second, which I'm so grateful for as I was much more relaxed this time and I know this time will pass. My ds was an angel compared to dd, and I also had PND with him so am very relieved she wasn't my first born!

As others have said, once they can begin to move about it gets a bit easier. Dd is now 8 months old and it's definitely better though we do still have our bad days. Definitely get a jumperoo, it's been my saviour. And the sleeping too, dd has barely slept during the day from when she was born but once we finally got into a routine of two good long naps a day a few weeks ago she's been better too, plus it gives me a longer break to relax and be ready to interact again when she wakes.

It will pass and get better, my ds is 3 and most of the time is a joy to be with, when they are a bit more independent and you can interact with them and have little chats, do jigsaws and colouring in it becomes much more fun :)

MegBusset · 02/04/2014 21:31

DS1 was like this. He had colic, reflux, eczema, food allergies and never slept more than 30 mins, and could not be put down. If it's any consolation, he was then the easiest-going toddler around. DS2 otoh was a dream baby but the stroppy toddler from hell!

It's a cliche but it really will pass. Muddle through, get as much help as you can, get ear plugs if it helps

TheAuthoress · 02/04/2014 21:36

Also meant to add, some days we went for a very long walk and I just stuck my headphones in and listened to music. If you don't have many people to give her to for a break it's the next best thing IMO.

Also make sure you have things planned with friends when your oh can have her, dinner or cinema or whatever you like to do. It can become all consuming and you need to be yourself and escape for a while.

Have you brought her to a cafe? Dd seems to enjoy new environments and will sit quite happily on my knee for a while looking about, whereas at home she'd be having a right strop. A change of scenery may keep her entertained for a while, and if not just leave. You may be able to be one of those mums with happy babies!!

TheAuthoress · 02/04/2014 21:37

One of those mums with happy babies in cafés!

givemecaffeine21 · 02/04/2014 21:41

Another vote for getting a jumperoo. It saved me! DS went in at 5 months and finally we got smiles and bouts of peace....and .... ahem...a bit of tv like Baby Einstein when you're really struggling to buy you some peace if the idea of the jumperoo doesn't initially grab her.

My son HATED being on his back, so the expensive baby gym didn't last long. He still (9 months) screams blue murder about having his nappy changed or getting dressed after a bath as it means being laid down at certain points. He is definitely much happier now he's more active and I truly believe the jumperoo helped him with this, he has very strong legs from all the bouncing.

I found his constant screaming very distressing, and there were times when I had to put him in his cot and walk away to take deep breaths before I lost my cool as being screamed/whined/cried at all day every day is very wearing. He started teething at 4 months and when teeth are on the way we have a very bad week whilst they come. He's my second, and as others have said, for that I'm grateful as he has really zapped my desire for more children!

Phalarope · 02/04/2014 21:50

Agree with TheAuthoress. All this hard work you're putting in to your baby - are you doing enough for you? Mine is nowhere near as difficult as yours, but when we were in the depths of nap refusal, the days were better when I did something I enjoyed. The distraction of an art gallery or whatever would buy me half an hour, and a walk makes the wailing a bit easier. If I'm stuck in all day trying to get her to sleep, I feel utterly miserable that the day/maternity leave is 'wasted'. If I can tell myself 'oh yes, we did such-and-such today' then it feels less like the day has been dominated by crying.

Original poster

Chickz · 03/04/2014 08:17

Thank you for all your really helpful suggestions. I have taken her to cafes but she never settles and starts crying. I don't want other customers to listen to crying whinging baby so I leave. We were also at a relatives house on Sunday but again DD threw a wobbly so we had to run and leave. I've tried weaning but that's been a disaster. She cries when I try to put spoon by her mouth. I always try her around 11am which is the correct time.
I really hope something improves fast as I dread each day and count hours to when DH gets back from work.

OP posts:

Original poster

Chickz · 03/04/2014 08:23

Thank you cremeeggs! Which milk were you on?

OP posts:

NearTheWindymill · 03/04/2014 08:26

Just a thought OP. Have you had her ears checked? DD had the rankest ears in the universe - even when she didn't have an infection there must always have been low grade pain.

zirca · 03/04/2014 08:29

I know it's hell, but try to remember that she's crying because she's in pain/discomfort. She doesn't stop because that discomfort is still there, and she's programmed to cry until someone fixes the problem - so she cries all the time! I had a tongue-tied baby who was just like that until we had it snipped. All he did was cry, day or night. We had it snipped, and after that first full feed, he stopped crying and slept. I can remember driving home in the car, to the sound of silence, thinking, "Wow! Is this really how it's meant to be?"

MiaowTheCat · 03/04/2014 11:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

Chickz · 03/04/2014 14:58

Thanks everyone. I do have a jumperoo. She stays in it for about 10 mins before the grizzling starts. And she's on stuff for reflux too. My only hope is that the new milk works so I will give it a couple of weeks. And ill perservere with the weaning. I'm forever googling to see if I can work out why she's like this. I just don't understand how a baby can be so miserable and unhappy. What ever I do just isnt enough for her. I'm thinking of going back to work in 2 months and putting her in nursery as I dont think I can deal with much more of this.

OP posts:

islingtongirl · 03/04/2014 15:53

Oh my I have been there! And still am some days (have posted previously about constantly screaming unhappy baby!) - it WILL get better. DD is 7 months now and will always be high maintenance and still cries and whinges a lot but it is much better. My lowest point was 4-5 months - was so angry waiting for things to get better, everyone seemed to talk about the first 3 months then it got better, well it didnt it got worse for me! As far as I know DD doesn't have silent reflux/intolerances, she is just a v sensitive baby! Be gentle with yourself, and her - it wont be forever and I bet there will soon be better days which energise you, because there will be harder days too, but they do get fewer. My advice for now (and I am sure you do this already but..) get out as much as you can. I to pretty depressed when I stayed in trying to get a screaming baby to nap or even just play. I got out at least once a day for a few hours, got DD to sleep and grabbed a coffee to go and sat in the park or just walked. I know what you mean about cafes and the screaming I dont know if you have anything like Gymboree near you but I started taking DD at around 5 months and she loves it. Yes sometimes she had a meltdown but more often than not she was mesmerised by the class and props etc and I came out feeling a lot more positive that she had got something out of it and that she could enjoy herself! She also napped well in the pram after which helped . Anyway, my main point is I sympathise completely! And it is almost the weekend

Original poster

Chickz · 03/04/2014 20:49

Thank you all. Okay I don't hate my DD today. It was a bit better. I do get out every day or else I'd go mental. I've been to Drs umpteen times and had her ears checked so its not that. I'll hold on to hope that things will get better at 7/8 months. And that the new milk works. Fingers crossed. I'll keep you all updated. Maybe I'll be one of those mums that can go to cafes! Xxx

OP posts:

midgeymum2 · 03/04/2014 22:18

Glad to hear today was a good day there will be more and more of these!

MiaowTheCat · 04/04/2014 08:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

Chickz · 04/04/2014 13:51

Thank you so much everyone. It's good to know that I'm not alone. Two steps forward one step back today. It's been awful. Non stop screaming for 2 hours. Seems to be stratching her head and ears. Teething maybe? I'm holding onto hope that one day magically things will fall into place but for every good day there are at least 2 bad. But I'll try to stay as positive as poss !

OP posts:

Flip

1 2