clingy and demanding 23mth old - please help

[Abwab]

My DS is 2 next months and is very clingy with me and seems unable (or unwilling) to amuse himself even for the shortest of periods. I work three days a week and he is at nursery for two of those days where they assure me he is 'Mr Independant. When he is with me he wants me to play or be with him constantly. He won't even go into another room without me going with him. If he wants something from his toy box I have to go to it with him! He is very good in all other ways (eating, sleeping etc) but i find his constant demands very difficult to cope with and i feel ashamed to admit it but it takes away alot of the enjoyment out of the time we spend together. Please don't get me wrong, i do want to play with him and spend time together but I would love for him to seem happier playing with his toys or using his imagineation like i'm sure he can. Please tell me this is a phase and will pass soon!! I have spoek to my HV but she couldn't really suggest anything!
Thanks

DD went through this as well. It does pass. It is very trying at the time but you will get through it.

Sorry - this sounds completely normal to me. He will need you less as he gets older. Try to focus on the lovely moments you share. They do grow up alarmingly fast.

Sing a little song about getting a toy from the toy box which covers everything he has to do. Sing it each time you go with him to get the toy, then gradually retreat a line of the song at a time, until you are on the couch singing whilst he does the whole thing.

Yes, sounds very normal. Annoying isn't it? I think if you stop thinking there is something wrong with him for being like this, and just relax into meeting his current needs, it may feel easier. It's good that he is asking for your support and comfort. Tbh when children spend a lot of time in nurseries apparently being very independent, it is because they have no other choice - he needs the time at home with you having a lot of one to one and input from you, to balance his time at nursery.

Children don't usually learn to play independently until they are older - it will pass. Meanwhile try if possible to find toys that genuinely interest the both of you - some mothers really enjoy building elaborate brick houses, or maybe painting or drawing is more enjoyable for you. Also try involving him more in your own activities - I did a LOT of baking with ds when he was this age. Hanging up washing and cleaning the bath or sink (or "cleaning" anythigng with a damp cloth) is also a good one to try.

Do you feel happier when you go out - I used to take ds out all the time because when out it all just seemed easier.

I agree. I still find it easier if we go out and my ds is 3 now.

I'm just starting to think that a day at home is relaxing, but I find him repetitive at home, whereas on a trip out he will talk about everything we see, which is different every day.

Abwab, your message could have been written by me 18 months ago and I have to admit that I'm relieved that other people went through the same thing because at the time it always seemed like other people's children were completely independent at 2 whereas my dd1 was permanently velcroed to my leg. Anyway, I also used to go out quite a lot and try and find games that I found were more interesting (we used to read a lot). But it does pass. With mine it got better when she was around 3 and her imagination really kicked in which seemed to help a lot with independent play. It improved again with the arrival of dd2 when she got used to really having to entertain herself because I was so busy. Now she's 3.5 and pretty good at amusing herself. Sometimes I have to go and check that she's ok because I haven't heard from her for so long. Just hoping that dd1 will help with the entertaining of dd2 so I don't have to go through it all again!

Thanks everyone for their thoughts and ideas. It hadn't occured ot me that he is balancing out is 'independent' time at nursery. I am trying to just stay positive and relish the fact that he wants to spend time with me and rmember that there will come a time when he shuns me!!