Advice with 3 year old picking on 10 month old please...

[fluffymum]

Hi there, I'm new on this board and am seeking advice on my boys. I have 2 boys one 3 the other 10 months both adorable cheeky boys. But I am so exasperated by my 3 year old picking on my 10 month old. I am so careful about jealousy and have done all I can to protect my 3 yo from feeling put out by the baby's presence and he does enjoy playing with him but how do I stop the continual pushing over, pulling, tugging and toy taking that my poor baby is subjected to on a daily basis by his older brother. I praise and praise the good hugs and sharing but still he does not understand that pushing the baby over so he bangs his head on the floor and cries is NOT a kind thing. I have tried time out on the stairs, sticker charts, bedroom. Any help or anyone in the same position would be much appreciated!

Sorry to hear that. I have 3 yr old DS and also a 21mth old DS and I am also having a nightmare. Infact, we have had a horrid day - had to leave the park and discipline DS1 as he pulled DS2 off the slide (we're overseas, hence the fact that day is done and I'm drinking vino - yum). And, like you, nothing works. I've thrown his DVD's away one by one as punishment, I've rewarded good behaviour with icecreams on the beach. One thing I'm trying now is Big Boy time, where at a certain time of day DS1 gets big boy privileges that DS2 doesn't. We're trying this at bedtime, so DS2 goes to bed as normal and DS1 gets to spend an extra 15mins with mum and dad, to read, talk, play a special game. Do you think this might work? Thought it might help for you to know that you're not alone

sympathies to you
similar age gap to my 2 boys

Ds1 never pushed over or was physical but on the when the snatching and being not kind got to much I lost my rag and yelled. Put the fear of God in to both of us and he never did it again.

Of course I am not recommending this course of action to you but it worked for us, on top of all the postive reinforcement you mention.

I also warned ds1 that one day ds2 would be big like him and be able to get his own back so he'd better think on.

Good luck

Exactly the same problems with my 2 aged almost 3 and 14 months. This has been happening since the day ds2 was born. I couldn't use the double buggy at first as he sould just kick and scratch him. He tried to push ds2 down the stairs yesterday and I certainly can't leave them in a room together. Noone I know in RL has this problem and lots of my friends with older girls seem to get lots of mothering and nurturing help from them. I just feel so sorry for ds2. ds1 however has never ben short of praise, love or attention

No useful advise but you are not alone.

my two are like this also, ds2 was 2 in march and ds1 will be 3 in december. Unless I am playing with them they are killing each other, and ds2 is just as bad as ds1! I am at the end of my teather with them, they are so competitive of each other.

hi, think this is a fairly common problem with them at this age! we ended up in A&E with our 10 month old when his 3 yr old brother decided to bang his head against the wall, one minute they were playing nicely and the next minute the younger one was barely conscious! that was a few years ago now, we've since gone on to have two girls who are now aged 2.2 yrs and 8 months. the same things are happening again, the younger one is constantly at the receiving end of rough play. ive learnt to never leave them alone together in the same room unless supervised, ie if i need to go to the kitchen or the loo, the baby comes with me.

Glad I'm not alone...sometimes ds is lovely to his baby bro. Like today he said he likes him and doesn't want baby to go for a sleep as he likes playing with him. A glimmer of hope?

Does it get better with age?

Thanks for comforting words.