DD2 (age 8) can't cope with loud noises, bangs, shouting - still.

[tess73]

I thought she would grow out of this, but now she is 8 and still can't cope with loud sudden noises.
She won't go to a party/room if there are balloons in case they pop. IF i manage to persuade her and one pops then that is it, we have to leave, she is inconsolable.
We can't have crackers/party poppers at the table at Christmas.
She sticks her fingers in her ears when a train goes past at the level crossing.
She was terrified of getting a teacher this year who uses a whistle in class (she didn't get her).
she hates the teacher she has on Fridays (only Fridays) because she shouts / slams her hand down on the table.
I always thought it was a phase that would pass, but it hasn't.
I have chosen a secondary school for DD1 that is fantastic but i heard the school bell the other day which is absolutely ear piercing. No way DD2 would go to this school.
I feel i need to get this sorted. How? Her hearing is generally fine. She is quite a robust healthy child with good friendships, fairly resilient, no emotional problems. Swims no problem, no problem in aircraft if that is relevant re ear issues!
TIA

oh and as for firework time, i have to make sure she is asleep early before they all kick off!

DD was like this. We spent every party sat in the village hall foyer as she wouldn't go in the hall but still wanted to go. She was terrified of balloons, fireworks, alarms, etc.

I'd say she was in Year 6 before she could cope with it. So your dd may yet grow out of it.

Hi, look up auditory processing disorder and see what you think. My son is like your daughter and this is what the OT thinks is going with him. How is your daughters concentration in busy environments? My son has a really hard time with concentration in the busy classroom as well as the aversion to loud noises.

For fireworks etc I would recommend getting her some silicone earplugs. They block out a lot of noise but aren't as obvious as earmuff type ear defenders.

thankyou.
VivaLeBeaver, good to know she may still grow out of it. She's definitely better than she used to be but wondering if it's because we have all adapted to her.
Teafor1 - i will do, thank you. She likes quiet. She often says it's too noisy in her class and is quite slow to get started with her work but when she does she does it no problem. interesting that might be linked. I did buy her proper ear-defenders from Wickes for firework night but she wasn't having any of it. Wouldn't even contemplate trying to go.

Is it something i should see the gp about?

just had a look, she doesn't have the symptoms for APD. She is in the top handful in her class academically, speaks fine, organised etc...

it's just sudden loud noises she can't cope with. consistently - that's why i think it's not behavioural, she is 100% consistent on her reaction to them.

You've described perfectly how children with sensory processing difficulties can behave if they are hypersensitive to noise. What they experience can often be pain as well as discomfort so it's understandable that your DD becomes distressed if a balloon pops and wants to avoid situations where sudden loud noises are likely.

You need to let the school know so that the Friday teacher can adapt her approach so as not to cause her such distress.

You could get a referral to an occupational therapist who can make recommendations to help you and your DD manage this.

Ear defenders in school will make her stand out but you could try getting her some of the little silicone earplugs they sell for swimmers which are much more discreet. They don't block out all sound but they can reduce the overall levels a bit and aid concentration.

My DD 6.6 is like this, to the point where she was in tears yesterday as she had drama and the teacher shouts, plus there was a school show that her class was going to watch.

It's 100% not behavioural, after a meeting with the head she now has a discreet pair of earplugs that live (wrapped!!) in her purse so she knows where to find them. Now I just have to work on the teacher remembering her sensitivity as she's too shy to ask for help.

Ironically, she's ok at Motorsport events that we attend regularly - but they're familiar. She's more affected by noise that's unexepected or unknown volume, hence the tears over the show.

Not sure where to go next with her, tbh.

My DS wears a hoody with the hood up (including at school) almost all the time and it really helps him cope with noise. It doesn't only muffle noise, it makes it come from one direction only which makes it easier to process.

He has sensory processing disorder including auditory processing difficulties.

OP when you say your DD doesn't for the criteria for APD - just want to check you know that usually the checklists for these kinds of sensory problems give a whole range of possible symptoms/behaviours/reactions, and you would not necessarily expect to tick them all to meet the diagnostic criteria, iyswim.

I'm 28 and I'm like this. I have adapted over the years (both to handle sounds better and hide my reactions better) and those around me have adapted to me, but it's still there. I can deal with crackers and poppers I'm expecting now - even if they are uncomfortable - but there comes a point where my adaptations wear down and it gets too much. Just earlier this week I broke down in tears for the first time in years because it was just so loud and I could nothing about it (the noise or the tears).

It isn't so much 'can't cope', it's that the noise above a certain level/amount of time is painful. It hurts. Even after the above incident, I spent the rest of the evening where my hearing was ultra sensitive - everything seemed louder and it was painful. Normally I can deal with it, but there are many things that can wear ones resistance to pain down that will make it harder.

DD is now home from school and I just asked her about it. She said the only problems at school are when they make papier mache! when i probed she explained they blow up balloons to stick the papier mache on.
she doesn't find it too noisy generally, just unexpected loud noises she can't cope with (like a whistle or a teacher banging the table) so i am not sure how earplugs would help, if she anticipates the noise then she seems to cope.
Is there a physical/medical solution or is it just a case of managing it? ie am i going to have to choose a secondary school without an ear piercing school bell for change of lessons?

My daughter is the same- hates balloons, fireworks, lightening, thunder, poppers eye. I dread parties and I have to explain to the parents before attending one as she screams and gets petrified of balloons.

I would talk to the school about it, and ask for teachers to keep an eye out as to whether it is a problem.

For secondary, I would not write off any school yet! a lot of schools are getting rid of bells, my DCs secondary has just done this (and six months ago I would have said they never would). Others are using Music instead of bells.
My children are all sensitive to noise. One used to wear foam ear plugs in class to help concentration. My youngest has improved with loud noises, and is better if she is prepared.
On visiting the older children's secondary the head of year 7 was fully aware that some children do struggle with loud noises, such as the bell. This is useful actually when its a fire bell, as she never ignores it.

This book has been useful for me to understand when my children are over sensitive to external stimuli.

thanks - i did mention it to her current class teacher who is aware of it, the day they "told" the kids there would be a fire alarm drill, dd spent the whole morning with her hands over her ears ready for it. but apart from that she doesn't seem to have a problem in class. but her teacher is brilliant, 30+ years in the job, it's the useless friday teacher who shouts/bangs the table. must talk to her but it tends to go in one ear and out the other (she barely knows the kids names never mind any specific issues!)

This is a very non medical answer but if everything else such as concentration is ok, could she just have sensitive ears and hate loud noises?

I loathe (and have always loathed) balloons popping and firework going off and would've hated a teacher using a whistle in a classroom. My family joke that I'm like the Catherine Tate character who screams at the ping of the microwave! There is nothing 'wrong' with me except I hate loud sudden noises.

She could have hyperacusis..well she obviously does.

I dont know much about it though.

I have sensory issues with noise too. Am NT AFAIK.

There should be info online about it.

Hyperacusis is horrible and managing it can be very difficult, there are some noises to which I still cannot hide my reactions (I keep expecting to see a thread in IABU about the mean lady glaring with her hands over her ears because a baby is screaming!) - noise can hurt.

(I'm fine in an aeroplane as well)