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Original poster

What's your opinion on dummies?

54 replies

Spaghettinetti · 25/03/2014 18:13

Hi there, I'm expecting numero uno in about 5 weeks and really can't work out how I feel about dummies... I'd love to hear how babies get on without dummies, so if you're happy to share your stories, I'd love to read/hear them!

Thanks :-)

OP posts:
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tantrumtime · 25/03/2014 21:13

DD wouldn't take one no matter what I did.
DS wouldn't have one either until he was about 9 months old and out of sheer desperation (he was a non sleeper) I tried one and it seemed to comfort him, he doesn't sleep through still but does sleep a bit longer because he can put it back in himself and it soothes him for a while.

blueberryupsidedown · 25/03/2014 21:15

ds1 never had dummy didn't suck thumb, was appalling sleeper and would only settle on the breast. Took ages to sleep through the night. ds2, bf as well, but had a dummy to go to sleep, and was a more calm baby and better sleeper. No nipple confusion here. However, I do judge a bit when I see a three year old with a dummy in the mouth when trying to talk... but as the others say,l whatever works!

misshoohaa · 25/03/2014 21:19

After 3 days of no sleep after coming home from the hospital with DS1 who was feeding constantly (and I mean DH had to spoon my dinner into my mouth because every time I took him off, he would SCREAM) DH got sent to the 4 hour Tesco and came back with a selection. We then actually got a few hours sleep, and it seemed that he was just a really sucky baby.

Literally saved my life, I was rocking like a mad women and wondering how the hell I was going to survive with a baby to look after. Longer term, he never had any nipple confusion, if anything helped him feed better as he slept really well with the dummy in then was a bit more alert for feeding. We EBF till 9 months and he gave the dummy up at about 7/8 months.

So I am very much pro dummies and will have them on stand by for DC2 due shortly.

MiconiumHappens · 25/03/2014 21:20

I've had two very sucky babies.

DS had a dummy until his 3 birthday and was a little difficult to wean him off but it really did settle him at night and IMO did him no harm at all. Dentist says teeth fine and he always slept very well and was a very content baby. BF with no issues.

Then I had DD and instead of doing the same as I had done before I didn't give her a dummy.......I have no idea why and now I have a raging thumb sucker on my hands. Its not so easy to take a thumb away! I think it's affecting her teeth - getting them checked soon. Again BF no issues.

Lots of people don't like dummies but given my time again I would definitely have given DD a dummy.

balenciaga · 25/03/2014 21:28

Dc1 found his thumb so never ended one. He was a very chilled baby/toddler though

Dc2 very sucky and stressy. So we gave her a dummy, and it did really chill her out. But she was 3 1/2 Blush when we finally managed to got rid. Then she immediately started sucking her thumb!!! She's nearly 5 and still bloody does it!!

Lozcat86 · 25/03/2014 21:39

DD was given a dummy in NICU at around a week old as she was unsettled between her 1ml an hr NG feeds Hmm, I was going to wait a bit longer with her myself but she's pretty good in that she only really has them for getting off to sleep/ in the car and will often push them out when asleep without any upset.
I plan to get rid of them after she turns 1.

NinjaLeprechaun · 25/03/2014 21:43

As an adult thumbsucker I didn't want my daughter to develop that habit so my daughter had a 'binky' from a few days after birth, until she was four. (And was bottle-fed expressed breast milk until she was a month old, at which point she started nursing like she'd been doing it all along. Which is why dire warnings about nipple confusion always make me Hmm )
After about 18-20 months it didn't leave the house and after three it didn't leave the bed. I also absolutely refused to let her talk through it.
She didn't sleep through the night until more than a year after she stopped using it, so no effect or help there.
I didn't give her a story about fairies or birdies taking it away. I just told her that she would be too old for it soon, and we'd have to get rid of them.

IShallCallYouSquishy · 25/03/2014 22:15

Never used one with EBF DD. She found her thumb at about 9-10 weeks and self settled with that at nap times (though BF to sleep at bedtime)

DS is 4.5 weeks and no intention of using one with him either

notnowbernard · 25/03/2014 22:16

I loved them

They're not called soothers or pacifiers for nothing

happyyonisleepyyoni · 25/03/2014 22:18

My Ebf DC1 and DC3 both loved their dummies and were bottle refusers. BF DC 1 until 12 mo and DC3 until 18 mo. Nipples would have dropped off if I didn't give them a dummy as well.

DC2 was BF until 9 mo and was never interested in a dummy, my conclusion- some babies are more into comfort sucking than others, has nothing to do with BF.

ginmakesitallok · 25/03/2014 22:20

We're on first dummy free night with dd2. She's 4 and we've finally bitten the bullet and gotten rid. She copes fine without one at her grans, screamed for it at bedtime, went to sleep no problem, but every so often I'm hearing a wee quiet whimper of "I need my dirty dum". Determined to keep strong!

tunnocksteacake · 25/03/2014 22:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

stuckindamiddle · 25/03/2014 22:23

I just wished mine would have taken one!

EveryDaysAnAdventure · 25/03/2014 22:44

I don't like seeing babies with them but my DS still had one as he wanted to suckle for comfort and I didn't want him to be attached to me all day when he wasn't actually feeding.

I've discovered my parenting style is to do whatever makes my life easier so long as it's not dangerous!

Original poster
Spaghettinetti · 26/03/2014 09:34

Thank you for sharing your thoughts. You've given me a lot to think about :-)

OP posts:
YNK · 26/03/2014 09:46

I was very anti dummys with my children.
DS (now 30) needed a brace at age 11. It was a brace to stretch his lower jaw and worn at night. He found it very painful but persevered. The dentist explained that his lower was underdeveloped and had been affected by thumb sucking.
Fast forward to my GS who enjoyed his dummy at bedtime.
He stopped using it of his own accord at 18m. I can see no problem with his jaw at all!

Purplelooby · 26/03/2014 09:54

It was invaluable for DS. He wasn't able to BF due to a tt and this also caused him to suffer from silent reflux. The dummy was a great help as reflux babies are often very sucky. It was also the number one thing that helped him to take daytime naps!

We stopped letting him have it outside of sleep time when he was 8/9 months because his reflux was much better and he was starting to cry specifically for the dummy. We then stopped letting him have it for sleeps when he was 12 months, basically because I wanted to get rid of it before he could start asking for it (which he was). It was so much easier to get rid of than I had dreaded!

On the other hand I have a newborn DD and she doesn't seem to need a dummy like her brother did, despite the same tt problems, so I'm open-minded about it.

Purplelooby · 26/03/2014 09:58

To add - I needed a brace, partially because I sucked my thumb until I was 16! It was only the brace that stopped me because it had a permanent pallet thing that sat where my thumb would have been. My mum did try to give me a dummy as a baby but I wouldn't take it. With DS I tried different ones until he took one - it was the Mam ones that he liked in the end.

Bumpsadaisie · 26/03/2014 10:18

Both my two had dummies.

One issue is that they can become a child's "attachment object", much like a teddy or a lovie/blanket as some people call them.

My son is 2.4 and is still desperate to have his dummy all the time, especially in situations where he feels overwhelmed e.g. dropping his elder sister at school (noisy, lots of people). I let him have his dummy then as it helps him manage his anxiety. No doubt people judge me for it, but you wouldn't stop a toddler having his teddy or blanket in those situations, and I am not going to force my son to give up his attachment object quite yet.

As he gets nearer three I will start to insist that it is for bedtime/carseat only and then the dummy fairy will visit once he is a little over three and through the attachment anxiety stage. Did this with our eldest and it was fine.

Bumpsadaisie · 26/03/2014 10:21

Official advice is to wait till you have got BF ing properly established before you introduce a dummy. They say 6 weeks. We waited that long with my eldest. With my second I was clued up and knew that the feeding was established and going well much sooner than that, so we confidently gave DS one at about 2.5 weeks.

MoominsYonisAreScary · 26/03/2014 10:26

All 4 of mine had a dummy.

Ds1&2 until around 3 years old at night. Now 19 &11 and never had any problem with teeth or speach.

Ds3 until 7 months when he decided he didnt want it any more

Ds4 only wanted it for a few weeks.

Had no problem with nipple confusion.

Sarahdesert · 26/03/2014 10:54

I'm hoping to have my daughter off of dummies by 3.

i don't like seeing older kids with them. i can't believe someone said there 6 year old still has one Confused

JennyHampshireMum · 26/03/2014 10:56

I think Leachers has it very much spot on, and i have just taken my little one off the dummys, but during that time that he was on them, i never liked to use them out and about in public Smile

notaflamingclue · 26/03/2014 11:00

Best invention in the world.

That said, I've always been very strict that they are only for bedtime. The only possible exception to that being in the car seat (when he's expected to nap anyway) and at home, during the hour before bed if grizzly.

PirateJones · 26/03/2014 13:09

i don't like seeing older kids with them. i can't believe someone said there 6 year old still has one

That would be my nephew. I see no problem as long as it's away before his adult teeth appear. As Bumpsadaisie said its an attachment object like a blanket or Teddy, the little guy has been through so much in his life that I’ve just decide he needs it and to let him keep it.