4 yr old DD Autism

[ShockandRelief]

Hoping for some advice, support anything really.

Two weeks ago I was asked by the school nursery to attend a meeting with the SEN, Headteather and Nursery Teacher.

On attending the meeting, they were straight to the point and stated that they are sure that DD is on the autism spectrum. I am convinced they are right and although I am relieved that someone else can see it, I am also completely devastated.

Trying not to drip feed, DD has shown signs since 18/24 months. Literally seemed to change overnight. SEnsitive to noise, clothes, colours, food and toilet issues. Biting, violent, obssessive with people. Lucky if she sleeps 8/9 hours, even thats usually broken. Repeating speech parrot fashion, does something strange with her hands when she gets upset (alot). No sense of danger, roads are now a concern. I do try to see the postive, I adore this child. Funny quirky dress sense, drawing is good, adores animals/nature/flowers. And at present appears to be teaching herself to read and write. Very clever girl.

I decided last year, after she has basically mauled a teacher at her last nursery, to try find a more structured nursery. I purposely never mentioned my suspicions about autism, although I did go into great detail about her behaviour and biting issues. I wanted to see what they thought without my input. This was after the last nursery, and also Parent Advisor, and fired me down about Autism worries. Made me feel abit stupid actually.

So whilst I am relieved that others can see it, I am scared. I have been told its going to be difficult getting a diagnoses, and it will be a long road. Although the school are being amazing and are completely behind me. I have started keeping a diary of events. I have been told to talk to GP for a start.

I am also struggling with DH and family. He has started refering to her as YOUR child, almost like its nothing to do with him, and his sister/aunty seems to think she can be "retrained" like a dog. Yes really, strangely I will be keeping her away from that.

I feel alone, and worried for what the future holds for my lovely little girl.

You've just been pushed onto an emotional roller coaster so make sure you take some time to think and get your head round this first.

Yes, it can be hard to get a diagnosis but that usually applies to children who mask their difficulties outside the home and appear to be NT elsewhere. It sounds like your DD's nursery have plenty of evidence so don't stress about that too much.

Definitely talk to your GP, without your DD there, and ask for a referral to a community or developmental paediatrician who can trigger a neurodevelopmental assessment.

Give your DH some time to get his head round the diagnosis too. You'll both need time and space to come to terms with it and you will probably do it in different ways at different times.

As for the training. Just give them a wide berth

There's a good forum for parents of children with ASD called ASDFriendly. It's free and very sensible and supportive so might be worth a Google. it really helps to hear from other people who have similar experiences.

Thanks for the reply, appreciated. I will go off and google now.

Yes and the retraing will stay away!

She sounds lovely!
Do try the special needs boards on Mumsnet as well. They have loads of experience there. I have a DS with various issues though no diagnosis as yet and have lurked on them and benefited from all sorts of (indirect) advice.