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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Biting - how to stop it in a one year old?

11 replies

TuttiFrutti · 16/08/2006 13:20

My 15 month old ds has recently started biting me, hard, and then laughing. He does it when I pick him up or cuddle him, sometimes on my shoulder and sometimes on my cheek.

Obviously he's too young to understand a rational argument about why you shouldn't hurt other people, and I don't want to smack him. But how can I stop him doing this? Or is it just a phase I have to live with?

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leogaela · 16/08/2006 13:31

Tuttifrutti - we have had the same problem with our little boy, he also went through a hitting phase. He is now 18 months and we have managed to stop him although he did bite a little girl on the face at nursery when she kept taking his toys away all the time . We tried lots of things, ignoring him telling him no, lots of people suggested that we bite him back but I couldn't do that!

We worked out that he was biting when he got excited or affectionate with us.

The best thing that worked for us is to tell him very cleary and firmly 'X doesn't like it when you bite, x likes is when you kiss but not when you bite'. Now he kisses and doesn't bite, sometimes he forgets and goes to bite but changes ot a kiss before he gets there or we spot it in time and tell him 'I like it when you kiss not when you bite'. If you are holding him when he does it put him down and look at him directly in the eyes.

We have been assured that its just a phase, that we have done the best thing to deal with it and also told to not make a big thing out of it.

Goodluck!

CountTo10 · 16/08/2006 13:33

I have gone through exactly the same with my ds - he's 23mths and just started doing it again. Does he just target you? i found it was when he got excited etc. he'd give me a little nip. On a couple of occasions it also signalled that a tooth was on its way. What we started doing was sitting him on the floor after a bite and very firmly saying no, musn't bite, anymore it'll be the naughty corner and then if he did it again we would put him in the naughty corner for a minute. That did seem to help out a bit. We also limited 'rough' play as this used to get him to excited.

CountTo10 · 16/08/2006 13:35

I definitely agree on not resorting to biting back. I will never forget my mum doing it with my little brother many years ago and it totally broke my heart!!! I don't think it helps as all they will remember is that you bit too and get confused.

merrily · 16/08/2006 13:49

My DD went through a phase of doing this at around 13-14 months. It coincided with all four of her back teeth coming through one after the other, so her gums were obviously bothering her! I would say no firmly and put her down if I was holding her - she would often bite my shoulder while I was giving her a cuddle - but it didn't make much difference TBH. She is 16 months now and doesn't do it any more. I think you probably just have to ride this one out!

Trippitaka · 16/08/2006 21:01

I think that when he bites, just put him down and say "no" firmly. Lots of folk recommend biting back, but that seems wrong to me.

kiskidee · 16/08/2006 21:07

i was reading that a lot of adults nip babies in a playful way so babies get the message that biting is fun. as toddlers, they want to play by doing same. my dd doesn't bite but has been bitten a couple times at nursery. in the other child's case, it was a way of her getting a toy off dd when dd wouldn't let go - as dd is that kinda gal. one day it happened just as i walked in to pick her up.

Joceybean · 16/08/2006 21:29

I agree it's not a good idea to play bite as it's confusing. If they bite you say firmly NO BITING! and put them on the floor/dowm. Do not bite them back as it sends the wrong message.

PurpleGrapeJuice · 16/08/2006 21:32

Beware of wily older sibs. My little boy had phase of biting his big sister and after numerous different methods of disciplining failed tried smacking back of his hand. On second day of this caught big sister biting herself so she would have mark to show me and could get little bro into trouble! Have avoided physical discipline since then as you can't take it back.

dreamteamgirl · 17/08/2006 22:37

My DS went through a phase of this about this age too.

He was at nursery and did it sometimes in excitement but often in frustration -eg another baby taking his toy.
They dealt with it by removing him immediately and comforting the other child while Sam was put on the chill out rug for a minute and given no attention. We duplicated it at home. I reckon it look less than 2 weeks before it passed. We do still get the odd nip, but not the 3 or 4 times a day it was reaching.

Original poster

TuttiFrutti · 18/08/2006 19:26

Really interesting replies. I am trying the "putting down and ignoring" option, and while it's too early to say whether it's worked, he hasn't bitten me at all today!

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powpow · 22/08/2006 09:10

TF, my 16 month old is a biter as well, although now that his canines have come in he seems to have stopped.
the advice given already is really the best course of action. everytime the bite happens say no biting, biting hurts and remove him/her from the situation.
my 5 year old dd was a hitter and this was the only thing i did to stop the behavior. it didn't last too long.
i look after another young toddler and i'm afraid she got the most bites. poor thing, her mum was understanding, but it makes you feel so awful!
good luck.

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