help please i don't know what to do

[cheeryface]

ds1 (10) is kicking hell out of his bedroom door and shouting that he wishes ds2 was dead and ds2 is crying

just the same as last year, first 3 weeks of the holiday, normal behaviour and some arguments but able to deal with it. then, they go into psyco mode where they cannot get on for more than 10 minutes and the arguments are extemely bad.

if i saw/heard someone elses kids behaving like this i would be worried and actually think they may have problems

i have had them seperated for a couple of hours with different friends this afternoon as i thought that might help but ds2 friends refused to play with him as they said he was being a stress head!

had a serious falling out with my mother because of them last year as she said of course it must all be my fault!

i have done loads with them , been paitient and kind as much as i can and we have just come back from a weekend away.

i feel like a crap mother though

Oh mate
No advice I'm afraid but just wanted to acknowledge your post. Must be so hard andupsetting and tiring. So sorry.
I used to argue terribly with my sister, makes me sad to think of the time I wasted arguing with her and not loving her and playing and gettinjg on with her.

good to know i'm not alone. i know there are worse problems to have but bloody ell this is stressing me out!
thomcat, did you get on with your sister as you got older?

You are definitely not alone. Ds1 12 and ds 2 11 are having fights all the time. Ds1 won't let ds 2 in his room and ds 2 tries to kick the door down and they scream and annoy each other a lot of the time. Sometimes they get on but I am always waiting for the next explosion. We were away for the first 2 weeks of the holidays so they haven't been stuck at home that much but they do find it hard to get on.
It does make you feel crap though. Also I have 3 sisters and we were always argueing but we are now all the best of friends. I would hate it if my kids didn't get on when they were adults though.

Sorry to hear you're having such a bad time of it. My mum nicknamed the school holidays as silly season. This isn't something I know anything about as a parent but as a child I hate my brother (2 years younger) and he hated me. This began when we were about 6/4 respectively and it was borne out of pure jealousy (not that we discovered that until we were old enough to sit and talk). We were violent and verbally abusive to each other. He won on the physical front, me the verbals. Lightening should have struck me several times for the things i used to say to him but it was my only defence. My mum was a single mum for most of it and it tore her apart. We both felt that she favoured the other. We are massively close now and can laugh about how it used to be but at the time it wasn't a joke. My only advice to you is take some time out of it yourself before responding. Don't ever think you are a bad mother and it's all your fault. I'm quite sure you're not teaching them now to throw hissy fits and be mean. Kids no matter what age always have a choice in how they behave. What might be helpful is to sit them down and try and discuss why they behave like that with each other. We started 'family meetings' which involved all of us sitting down and each getting 3 mins to say our piece and then my mum would take it from there. It gave us all a sense of feeling like we were being heard.