Another child's mum wants to talk to me about an incident

[splasheeny]

Tbh I'm a bit afraid.

I really don't like confrontation.

Preschool told our au pair about an incident where our daughter had poked another child in the eye with a toy. We have of course spoken to dd about this. We are also working with the nursery in terms of behaviour management.

Au pair told me that the mum approached her asking if she was dd's mum and wanting to talk about the incident as her dc will be seeing a doctor. I really don't know how to react to this.

I didn't know who the other child who was involved was, and rarely do pick up/drop off. I am a bit surprised that nursery have said to the child's mum that my child hurt hers too, as I thought this was not meant to happen.

This was an incident between two children at preschool, and was dealt with by the preschool at the time. I don't know why this mum would want to talk to me now?

For context dd is 3. I have never seen her hit another child, and when I spoke to her about what had happened she denied doing anything, though of course I know this may not be accurate.

How would you handle this situation?

Also at age 3 my child could tell me exactly who pushed her or did anything....they're not babies now so maybe the nursery didn't inform the other parent but the child did.

The other child didn't need surgery, I'm pretty sure of that!

I was told via au pair that the child has some pain, so will be seeing a doctor. The fact that this is a week later, and the child still hasn't seen a doctor makes me think that the injury can't be severe, but I don't know the details. I have seen the child at nursery without any signs of injury, and happily playing with my dd, so he clearly doesn't remember what happened.

I don't think the fact that he's happy to pay with dd means he doesn't remember, just that children are mire forgiving than adults and he's put it behind him

OP, I agree with you that this sort of incident is best dealt with by the nursery staff rather than a discussion between the mums.

However, it's natural to feel protective of your child when they are hurt by another child. If the mum does approach you, please try not to use the phrases in your last post about how the injury can't have been severe and the child clearly doesn't remember what happened - this will come across as really dismissive of her feelings. If I were you I would apologise and say that I believe the nursery are dealing with the issue.

I've been on both sides of this kind of thing by the way.

I would enlist the nursery's help. I had a similar incident where one of mine hurt another child and the parents demanded a meeting with me. Preschool said no, that would be inappropriate.

Tumble, I just posted that in reply to questions. What we are talking about here is a playground spat. I am sorry it happened but I don't know why the other mum is still chasing me.

I will talk to nursery on Monday and let them know about the other mum.

ds's friend got poked in the eye with a toy and it was still sore later, so they took him to the doctors and turned out his eyeball was cut and leaking and he needed stitches in it! Hope the little boy is ok.

But even if he has sustained a more serious injury (which if he hasn't been to the doctors yet they wont know) cant see why the other mum would need to talk to you? Unless her ds is saying your dd is a repeat offender, but even then she should take that up with the nursery not you directly as you don't know if that is true and your not there so cant do much a bit it.

I wouldn't worry about being cornered, tell your au pair if the other mum asks again to direct them to the nursery management. If you do meet the other mum just apologise and enquire after her ds, if she does get shouty walk away or ask her to come back into the nursery with you to discuss with them as you weren't there so cant comment.