How do your children listen without you shouting? I'm fed up!

[littleraysofsunshine]

They're really different at times lately. I just end up shouting which still doesn't help and results in me feeling awful. I don't want them to listen out of fear, or a fear of not getting a reward if good. Please help! I never hit my children but even shouting I just hate. And hate myself for it as it's all I ever knew from my mum

It's really getting to me.

Since becoming a mother of three I feel so much more stressed out. He's only 8 weeks old. But I feel terrible for it. Yelling at the two girls, especially when they have the days where they are fighting over their Grampys attention. I really don't know why they've started doing this? Literally just fought over him. They heighten their voices so we can't talk, don't listen to when I say let's not throw toys, and suggest something to do. I got them a lovely water table that they were playing animals in but then they decide to climb in in and throw the toys out.

I try and succeed sometimes, but the moments I don't I feel weak! I set up so many lovely Play opportunities but then they don't play like it should be as such. Dolls house - they climb or shove all the toys in. Kitchen - sometimes great but then when not they like to shove all the toys in, or throw them all out.

It's like some times they need a lot of direction otherwise things go wild - In a bad way. I know they're very little still. But some days they play beautifully. More than not. But the days they don't, I feel like I'm a bad parent.

?

This is second hand from a friend who's been on a course re this, but he says that you need short instructions that your kids can understand, and you need to sound like you mean it first time round,rather than getting trapped in a cycle of sounding vaguely complaining for several repetitions and then suddenly losing your rag and shouting.

Littleray, how are you getting on?

I had a long rant at my 5-year-old DD yesterday because she waited until we'd left the house to decide she needed to go to the toilet - again - and we had to turn back even though we were already late!

Thinking about it after the event, I KNOW I should expect this, she is only 5, but at the time I feel cross because it makes us even later than we already are. I'm sure I could have dealt with it better than having a 10 minute rant though

If anyone has any tips on how to feel less cross at these silly little things I'd be very grateful.