hi there - totally get this as my ds (23 months) has been showing his independent streak for a while! dont want to be to controversial but asking her permission is setting you up for a long, drawn out battle for some years to come - your the boss so to speak and you need to just tell her what is goign to happen and do it no matter how much she kicks off otherwise she will know that even if she has to tantrum for an hour she gets her own way and its not actually about what your doing (ie nappy change, clothes change) its just about her getting her own way! sorry if this appears harsh - I used to run parenting courses and if you think about what your doing - asking a 16 month old child for permission - its not good practice really. One child i know had her parents asking persmission for everything and i mean everything like could they go to the toilet, could they make a cup of tea etc as she would throw spectatucular tantrums otherwise just starts as you mean to go on ! good luck!