Please help with my dd's behaviour

[kbaby]

Over the past couple of weeks DD's behaviour has been terrible. She has started to tantrum over the smallest of things and she hits out. She has also started pushing or hitting other children.

If she asks you for something or disagrees with you she'll hit or scram you.

MIL says she is good as gold when shes with them, amittidly they did say they very rarely say No to her. But when I turn up to collect her or spend time with her she turns in to a moaning, whinging little girl who is incapable of playing for 2 minutes without throwing or having a tantrum. Anything you ask her is met with a 'NO'

Im at a loss as to why she is like it with me and ive spent the last few days in tears because 'nice' days out that id planned have just been auwful and weve come home early due to her tantruming.

Weve been dealing with hitting, throwing, kicking etc by going on the naughty step and praising any good behaviour but nothing seems to be sinking in.
I feel terrible to admit it but its got to the point where I dont want to spend time with her as its obv she's better behaved when im not around, and I cant cope with the stress of it.

Shes 2yrs and 2 months. What am I doing wrong and how can I help improve her behaviour.

Has anything in her life changed recently to spark this off? Does she have regular activities that she does during term time that she is now missing? Or is she having to share you with older siblings during the school holidays?

Or could it be because she is tired? My dd1 started having bad tantrums recently but I moved her bedtime earlier and that has helped.

And it may be a cliche, but have you tried a star chart or stickers?

this could be my dd age 3 years and 1 week!
thought it would stop when she turned 3 but it hasnt, she is perfect child at nursery in the mornings, ahe is good at her dad's (one day a week she is there) and she is perfect for my dad when she stays over night there, but as soon as she is home she turns in to a winging baby and i feel awful because i blame myself, nothing settles her for long, she enjoys sitting playing board games but i cant do that all day i am a single mum with 2 children to look after, i recently got rid of her dummy thinking that it was making her worse as she was very reliant on it

I just wonder why she changes her behaviour for me ,

sorry i cant help much but i shall watch this thread with interest.

hope you get some better replies than mine

Just to add, I think it is pretty common for children to behave better for other people than they do with their parents. My parents have hardly ever seen dd1 have a tantrum despite spending a lot of time with her.

Weve tried moving her bedtime forward by 10 mins each day until she was going to bed half hour early ie 7.30 but all she does is lie in her cot singing and talking to herself until almost 9.30pm, which is later than her old bedtime of 8pm.
She does seem tired in the daytime but she will not nap unless she falls asleep in the car or I hold her like a baby until she falls asleep.

She has recently started pre nursery school in June and has also had a new baby 2 weeks ago. But the behaviour went downhil before either of these started.
She knows what shes doing is naughty as shell send herself to the naughty step but its having no effect on the actual behaviour.

kbaby ...
First of all - she is 2.
Secondly, she knew things were changing way before you had the baby (why can't my mummy roll around the floor with me? when you were pg etc)
Thirdly, she has started pre school - that is a big change
And lastly she has dropped her naps ...

All that, IMO, equals tantrumming toddler!

I only sound like an expert because I am in the middle of it myself (DD is 2 and a half)
I got a great development email from Mumsnet last week (Your child at 2 and a half) that describes DD to a tee - the age of negativity ... everything is NO! So very true. I can say to my DD "Do you want and ice block?" and she will automatically say "NO!" then realise what she has said when she sees DS with one
If you stay consistent and patient - all the cliched things, reward the good etc ... then she will get better.
I have seen a tiny bit of improvement in DD in the last couple of weeks.
Stay calm, deal with her hitting etc by putting her in her room/time out/whatever method you have ... but don't think this behaviour is here to stay to forever...
HTH