19mth old daughter sooooooooo clingy!!!!

[pembsmum2]

Hi i am new to this site, i am having a big problem with my 19mth old daughter who is so clingy its unbelieveable! i can't go from room to room without her hangin off my leg screamin!! i just don't know what to do really. I have spoke with my health visitor and she says its 'normal' but my son who is now 4 was never like it, any tips on what to do pleassssse
kelly

Hi - I'm new to this site too. When my dd1 was that kind of age she too was really clingy. I used to get really frustrated at playgroups and things when I seemed to be the only Mum with their little one velcroed to her side. I used to think it was something about the way I'd bought her up, but tbh, now she's 3.5 I think its just her personality. The good news is that the clinginess just very slowly disappeared and although she can still be shy sometimes its much less of a trial.

I don't think there's a magic solution to it, just gradually getting her used to the idea that life without you will be OK. I volunteered to help run one of the playgroups that I went to which meant I wasn't always available to be with her all the time, and there was a definite big improvement when she started pre-school. I'd start small and just try and get her used to doing things like being on her own in the next room for five minutes by herself, with you humming or singing to yourself so she knows you're there.

I remember it was really frustrating, but hey, at least you know she's unlikely to run off from you in the shopping centre or something!

Sympathies, dd was like this and to an extent still is even though she has done a year fo full time school. Our ds had also been fine to leave so dd was a shock. There are 2 schools of thought . You can try leaving her with others for initially short but gradually extended periods but they need to have a lot of patience , stamina and perhaps be tolerant of serious screaming (dd got very upset though and it was more than just clinginess and she became distressed). Or you can ride it out and do things gradually at her pace. For example dd started a playgroup at 2ish and was more easily distracted in a small group setting with a dedicated teacher who could engage her than in many other childcare settings we'd tried. She learnt over time that she could have fun without being with me and whilst it wasn't a straightforward ride from there on (ballet class where she was in a different room with me watchign from a window didn't work ) , with consistency and patience, we have made progress so she has become happier in different settings and with different people.

My ds aged 2.5 has always been like this. From the moment he was born, when he began to crawl he would crawl at speed everywhere I went, he winges a fair bit too. He is actually sitting on my lap as I type this. I do feel like tearing my hair out at times, he is even at a pre-school in the mornings and that has made no difference. We go to resturants to have a meal and he sits on my lap, we got to the park for a picnic and he sits on my lap and not on the picnic blanket or grass.
Ds1 was not like this at all, I have no real advice but sympathise as I am in the same shoes. I am sure that with time he'll grow out of it real soon. (I HOPE!!!!)

Search for the name bobbybob and "bye bye game" and hopefully you will get my longwinded explanation.

Also play lots of peekaboo games with her. Covering your face with a semi transparent scarf and counting to 3 and then saying "peek a boo" - big smile. Then encourage her to imitate you.

Oh and buy a hip seat - save your back.