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Push or be pushed?

6 replies

Dukketeater · 26/02/2014 10:22

I have a 15 mo ds who is a total rufty tufty, always climbing things he shouldn't and getting hurt.

Anyway, he doesn't push, hit, bite, grab, snatch etc but recently he has been getting pushed about by other kids. He never used to cry or moan and would just get up and carry on but now I think he has had enough and will cry when hurt.

It just feels like its going to keep happening unless he starts pushing back - which I don't want - so is it really a case of push or be pushed?

And why can't other parents actually watch their children and do something about it?

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blueberryupsidedown · 26/02/2014 10:46

It isn't necessarely a case of push or be pushed. Even the toddlers who push will get pushed too. I have always discourages my children to push, or push back. I have two boys ony 18 months apart, and if I would have allowed pushing it would have been an absolute nightmare at home. So it's always been 'no pushing' as a absolute rule, it is never acceptable. I have also told other children off for doing it. I cannot imagime myself saying to my toddler 'go on, push him/her back'. I don't think that would be good parenting.

firstpost · 26/02/2014 11:04

Most children will go through a phase where they will push, including yours Smile it's a normal stage of development. Obviously it's normal for you to feel protective but unless he's actually hurt I would let him continue to play.

Dukketeater · 26/02/2014 11:29

Thats my general thinking firstpost but its starting to upset him now :S

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DeWe · 26/02/2014 13:41

Ds didn't do all those things at 15 months. At 2yo he tried every one of them. Grin

Your time may well come.

Dukketeater · 26/02/2014 17:19

I'm not saying it won't... Believe me, i know kids all go through it but I just don't know what to do now to help him? Today he clung to me at playgroup, so unlike him but he wandered off and 5 minutes later he was laying flat out as someone pushed him over. Only ONE parent have I come across who watches their child and stops them or tells them no...

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estya · 27/02/2014 06:15

If the problem is that people aren't parenting their kids properly I'd stop going to that playgroup tbh. It sounds like it's spoiling your enjoyment of it.

I think I'd react by by verbalising the situation, to help your son make sense of what's happened and start teaching him what it feels like to be pushed to hopefully minimise the stage when he gets there.
So: oooh, that was a shock to get pushed. I think little Johnny is feeling upset because it's difficult to wait turns. But pushing hurts people, johnny. Is your mummy around. .......?

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