Dd Constantly moaning - end of my tether

[TeaJunky]

I've posted about this before.

Dd is nearly 5. (Have another dd who is 1). Dd1 constantly constantly moans about anything and everything.

Just got back from a short trip to buy new school shoes and other bits for her. Got back and sorted out dinner for the dd's. She then went to toilet and called me saying the toilet paper has finished. I immediately went to the cupboard next to the toilet to get some out, and said 'just getting the paper out now dd's (obviously anticipating what was to follow, slightly anxiously but subconsciously until I've just realised now). Dd hears me then starts a long whine like 'uuuuuuuuuuhhh, toilet paperrrrrrrrrr! Toooooilet paper!'

And this is just one example of her constant whining. She can whine about her shoes, her hair, her breakfast lunch and dinner, clothes, lack of anything to do, moaning when we go out , you get the picture. Anything and everything.

I am absolutely at the end of my tether. I have tried love bombing. I have tried star charts. I have tried sanctions. (No tv/iPad). I have tried everything, but it just feels like nothing is ever good enough for her.

I, on the other hand, feel like I run myself ragged all day either doing some activity with her, or doing something for her or shopping for stuff for her. She really takes centre stage most of the time in the house and it's really starting to wear me down and actually, get me down too.

I just don't know what to do.

DH is at work most of the day and evening, back quite late most evenings (7/8) so she's with just me after school. She is very close to him and does miss him terribly when he's working late but when he goes have phases like that, he makes an effort to have an early one so he can come and spend time at home with them or we go out as a family. Also on weekends we're all together both sat and sun so she gets to spend plenty of time with him then.

I've looked at the sensitive child thing and we are extra aware of things that may irritate her like the inside seams of tights, how comfy clothes/ shoes/car seats/ her bed are, she gets mostly what she asks for either as a treat on her star chart or as a random gift. She really lacks for nothing material or mine or DH's time or attention. So why is she like this?

Oh teajunky that sounds like hard work. It's so tough to stay positive when there's a whiny backing track. It can really wear you down.

Have you had a look at the aha parenting site? There's some good suggestions on there for this sort of thing - I've found her advice really constructive.

Hi anothermonkey. Thank you for finding my post x

No I Havnt come across that website. I'll have a look now.
Swimming was ok because I'd just roared at her before going so she was trying to be good. I feel so sad now she's in bed. Poor little mite, she's so tiny and I'm such a mean mummy

I do time out for whining. Also early bed if its after tea. Sometimes it is tiredness related. Time to reflect really helps my 5 year old DS. He also responds to doing nice activities together and having fun/attention. More recently we have discussed how he can tell me how he's feeling without winging. I'm really happy for him to tell me how he's feeling but not to nag.