What do you do when your child becomes a biter?

[Bomper]

My dd2 (2 and half) has started biting. It's usually out of frustration, if things aren't going her way, and it is usually my poor dd1 who gets it. She has a big bruise on her arm from a bite she got yesterday. I tell her off, but she just bursts into tears and asks for a cuddle. Several people in rl that I have asked have told me to bite her back!! But I really don't want to do that!! Any advice? TIA

Anyone?

I put the dts in time out, and basically I'm jsut waitign for them to grow out of it . It is getting less frequent. dt2 started it first, then recently dt1 bit him back and I don't think he has done it since! He was totally shocked and upset.

Thanks Kelly. That's why people keep telling ME to bite her back, they say it will make her realise how much it hurts and she won't do it again!! Don't feel right biting a 2 year old though!!

I really don't think it would be a good idea to bite her yourself, I think it would only teach her that it's fine to bite so long as you're bigger than the one you're biting.

My ds was a bit younger when he went through a biting/hair pulling phase. I used to snatch him away from the other child saying "No biting" firmly. Then sit him on the floor facing a wall and go and make a fuss of the other child, keeping my back turned to him and turning my back and refusing to look at him if he came over to me. It was quite effective as he hates to be ignored.

Your dd is probably old enough to say sorry now. After you've been ignoring her for 2 or 3 mins, tell her if she says sorry nicely then you will play with her for a bit.

Bomper - You had no idea how relieved I was to read your post!! My 2 and 1/2 yr old DD1 has just started biting - I have no idea where this behaviour has come from - I asked at nursery and they say she doesn't have any biters in her group and she's not done it there; but is horrid and I hate it!! I have a younger DD2 who seems to be bearing the brunt of most of it too - nasty red sore bruise on her back atm, poor thing! You are not alone! How old is your older child??

Totally agree with bran - Don't bite back, just pick her up and place her in a corner / on the stairs and tell her firmly that the behaviour is not acceptable and you don't wish to speak to her right now. Then give the "bitten" child lots of attention and ignore the "biting" child fo a few minutes - Then go back her, explain what she has done and why it is wrong, get her to apologise to the oher child ("sorry for biting you" if their vocab is enough!), may be a kiss or a hug and then continue .....

That's what I try and do anyway ....

Oh I don't know Bomper. Ds3 has been doing it for ages - he's only 23 months though. I'm just very firm with him - tell him 'NO BITING' in a very firm voice, making sure he's looking at me. It would be impossible to impose time out on him, he's like a whirlwind and would deffo not sit down on a step. I like the ignoring thing though - he hates that.

Yes, Gobbledigook - my dd2 is the same, I would not be able to impose time out on her as she doesn't understand the concept of it yet, and would not stay still. I s'pose I could do the 'holding and looking away one' though.

Captain Dippy - I am glad I am not alone in this , sorry for your little dd though!! My older dd is 6 and she is so good, she does not hold a grudge against her sister for doing it, and still says 'I Love E, Mummy' Bless her.

My ds is 15mths and is a biter. Picked it up at nursery and has been doing it for about 6mths. He seems to bite when over excited or tired. I have tried saying 'no biting', biting him back (did it once and felt so bad havent done it since)etc but nothing seems to work. It does seem to be getting less and less, and like Kelly am just waiting for this phase to pass.

It was so frustrating when people said 'oh its just a phase that will pass' but i didnt want it to be a phase full stop.