Extremely clingy nearly 8mth old.

[Nemo1977]

DD has always been clingy which was very sweet and lovely. Expected it due to her being ill etc aswell and being in hospital a couple of times. However the past 2 weeks the clingyness has gone to another level. She is unbearable [sorry dont mean that as it sounds but ykwim] she will be sitting next to me screaming unless I pick her up into a bear hug but if I dare move she screams. She holds on for dear life and will not be put down etc. If I leave the room the screams are merciless like she has been hit or something but she will be lying where she was. If I go the loo she will crawl into the hall sobbing and screaming. I know it is semi normal to be clingy but not to this extent surely!!!! Any tips greatly appreciated as ds was never like this.

It's really very normal at this age, especially if she's been through some traumatic separations. ATM the best thing would be to just accept tht she is very needy, and tht you have to reassure her by responding to her needyness.

Your dd has just realised that you are not part of her, and that you can disappear, but not that you will always reappear, so any little disappearnace can be very frightening. If you accept her clingyness and cart her around with you for the next month or two, she will gradually increase in confidence and eventually allow you to 'disappear' with the confidence that you will reappear. The most important thing now is to help boost her confidence and trust in you.

My dd was permanently attached to my hip for months, but has ended up a confident and outgoing child, and a great 'joiner'.

yep nemo- defo normal as i remember mine was like that even if her Dad was in the living room with her, she would still be screaming for me whenever i left the room.

I accepted if I leave the room etc but what about when I am in the room and she is still screaming for me? She will either stand next to my leg crying or sit next to me crying until I hold her..the problem is having ds and being pg it is getting me down as he gets no attention and I am drained.

Hey Nemo. It sounds a lot like classic - but extreme - 8 mo separation anxiety. DS was like this for a couple of months, he'd been so easygoing beforehand, but was devastated if I so much as attempted to put him down from about 71/2 months till @ 9, when he started to try to walk. I bought a hip seat (not sure whether any good in pregnancy tho!) and put up with it. Apparently also lots of hide and seek and peekaboo games help them develop the concept of object permanence (ie when you are out of sight, you still exist, and are not goine forever)

It must be demanding with having your little boy too. Take care.

I used to, and still do, say to DD that "im coming back in a minute" and repeat it a few times, once DD got used to the rhythme (sp?) of my voice of "im coming back in a minute" (it took a while) it reassured her that she knows that im coming back.

Me personally dont agree with hip seats as the lo's gotta get used of you going out of the room or otherwise they will be glued to your hip!!

It is upsetting to hear your lo screaming and gettin upset but i had to do it for my sake and hers.

Nemo, your dd sounds exactly like mine, except my dd's separation anxiety started at 5 months. I think the extent and severity of this phase (and it is a phase) depends on the child.

At 9 months, it got a little better, in that dd would allow herself to be held by grandma for 30 mins with me out of her line of sight!

Tbh, if your dd is as hysterical as you describe her, I would try to leave any "training" for later and go with the hip seat. I do believe if you meet their needs, they will be able to move out of that phase sooner. Dd is now extremely confident and her grandma has remarked how she almost never cries (at 2.10). But dd is still very very cuddly (not just with me, but now with grandma and all her familiar figures) because that is her nature and that is why she took so badly to separation anxiety. It is a lovely thing, really, and something to cherish, not to stamp out of her at an early age.

It is not easy with a ds and being pregnant . But it is just a temporary thing. Her needs just happen to be more urgent at this time. Best of luck.