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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

When to use transitional objects?

22 replies

murphy36 · 14/02/2014 19:23

I'm guessing under a certain age it's not safe to leave a muslin or a cloth or a toy in with DC for the night?

But is it 4month, 6month, or 2years? Or something else

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

puntasticusername · 14/02/2014 20:06

I want to know the answer to this too!

Frusso · 14/02/2014 20:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

UriGeller · 14/02/2014 20:14

I think if they are an age where they wake in the morning and can be amused by a toy for a few minutes before wanting to get up (dd is just 1 and does this now, its so sweet to hear her talking to her dolly) or like to have a scrap of cloth or a teddy to help them get to sleep then its fine to leave one in. Obviously not something like a muslin or scarf (!) that can get wrapped around them (at any age). I doubt if you'd find "guidelines" about it anywhere, its more just a common sense thing, when you feel your baby is ready.

jaybirdsinginginthedeadofnight · 15/02/2014 07:32

When DD was 51/2 months she went into her own room with a soft toy monkey in her cot for company, I chose him as he has no bits the can be detached, buttons etc and he's not fluffy. I wasn't comfortable leaving one of those comforter blanket type things incase she put it over her face. Just use your common sense. But beware DD is now 22months and she will not go to sleep without monkey, she sucks his tail, which stinks, even though he is regularly washed. 99% of the pictures I have of DD also have that damn monkey If a strong attachment is formed to something buy another one! We tried to get a second monkey but M&S discontinued him

Monkeyandanimal · 15/02/2014 07:36

DS liked a muslin on his face to go to sleep from about 4 months. I was worried about it getting wrapped round his neck so i cut them in quarters and hemmed them, so they were too small to wrap around and thin enough to breathe through. Would usually take it off his face after he fell asleep, though sometimes i went to sleep first!

mustardtomango · 15/02/2014 10:09

Ds is 4 months and has been well attached to a toy now for nearly 2 weeks... He mainly loves him when we're out and about, or with other people in their homes, and he seems to really enjoy the consistency of having him around. Def a helpful tool

kimlo · 15/02/2014 10:16

dd2 had a cuski from birth if they go over their face they can breath through them and none of the parts are long enough to wrap around anything. Plus they are easy to replace we still have loads of them and part of her bedtime routine is spending ages choosing which one gets to go to bed with her

They even do little ones to use for smaller premature babys now.

HelenHen · 15/02/2014 10:24

I never used them! Hes had resides in his cot since maybe a year or something but, before that, his room was all about the sleep!

Original poster

murphy36 · 15/02/2014 17:09

We have jellycat rabbit and frog which say from birth...

OP posts:

Jaffakake · 16/02/2014 22:11

From something like 12 weeks ds had his tiger in bed at night. Tiger is a square of fabric with a tiger head & arms. We noticed he liked holding something to his face when he was asleep. He often would go to sleep with it on his face. We'd keep an eye on him & pull it off once he'd drifted off. I have no idea what it says on the actual toy, but it's not big enough to get wrapped round him & when he was little we kept a decent eye on him. I suppose you've got to just weigh up the risks for our situation.

Jaffakake · 16/02/2014 22:12

Oh, & he loooves tiger. When he falls over he's more bothered about tiger than me!

PansOnFire · 16/02/2014 23:13

I'll second the Cuski suggestion. My DS has had one since about 5 months when I heard about them, it stays in his cot and he fiddles with it between his hands when he's falling asleep, sometimes he buries his face in it. They are the safest comforters I've found but I do like the cutting and hemming muslin idea :).

toomuchtooold · 17/02/2014 07:37

Mothercare binkies say "suitable from birth"... I think anything that's not big enough for them to snuggle under and overheat in should be fine.

atthestrokeoftwelve · 17/02/2014 07:40

I don't see "transisional objects" as necessary or desirable. Wnat's wrong with a mother instead?

kimlo · 17/02/2014 07:50

well I wanted to introduce one because I knew I would have to go back to work at 7 months at the latest and I did everything I could to make it as easy as possible for her

sometimes mothers arent always there.

some people just like them.

TheDetective · 17/02/2014 07:57

Mine grew attached to muslin cloths. He started rubbing them on his face. Around 4 months. Quickly developed in to sucking them.

He's not grown out of it and he is 14 months. He often sleeps the whole night with one in his mouth.

He wouldn't have a dummy past 12 weeks. But happily sucks on the damn muslin. Go figure.

I tried to discourage it, but nothing worked. So here we are.

jaybirdsinginginthedeadofnight · 17/02/2014 08:35

atthestrokeoftwelve some of us work night shifts and want to make our LO's feel secure and comforted when we are not there, hence an object with mothers scent on to snuggle to sleep. What's wrong with that?

Gerty1002 · 17/02/2014 11:01

There's always one who pops aling to judge...

We use a similar thing to jaffakake, but one is a giraffe and one is an elephant. He likes to suck bits and put them to his face as they are soft. We also remove them once he's asleep. He's had these since about 3 months (now 5 months) when he started to like grabbing/pulling things while falling asleep.

Gerty1002 · 17/02/2014 11:01

along*

Bumpsadaisie · 17/02/2014 11:06

atthestroke - I think most child development specialists and psychotherapists would strongly disagree with you ...!

Transitional objects are not there to "replace" a mother who is not there. They are used in the child's experimentation with the creation of a sense of self, i.e. what is "me" and what is "not me".

This is a necessary step in healthy development, equally important whether the primary caregiver is available 24/7 or not.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transitional_object

littlestressy · 17/02/2014 11:13

DS has always had his rabbit softie in with him from birth, I used to shove it down my top in the day so that it smelt of my milk

UriGeller · 17/02/2014 12:21

I'm always there (literally!) and my kids didnt have comforters as babies until ds3 came along, decided he adored a scrap of a plush toy SO much he couldn't be parted from it for a second. He's 3 now and he and this filthy little scrap are napping together.

Some babies just want them. I would never discourage it just because I think i should be enough!

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