My 7yo boys are so ungrateful !!!

[jac34]

I have 7yo(nearly 8) twin boys who are home from school for the hols.
I'm usually pretty good at finding things to do with them,but this year they seem to be fed up of the sort of things they did last summer hols.
They constantly want to be taken to expensive places and money spent on them.I have not given in and we stll do lots of the free or cheap thing we always used to do,but I have been taking them on a more expensive outing once a week.They go to a play scheme once a week as well(I work 3 days)and have been on a trip with them,but they are so ungrateful.
This morning they had a go at me ,telling me I was mean and didn't take them anywhere.I have a weeks leave booked this week,I'm very tempted to cancel it,I'm also tempted to make them play in the garden for the rest of the holidays,instead of wasteing energy and money trying to amuse them anymore.
Any suggestions????

My name says it all thechildsslave . I have a 7 yr old ds and feel exactly the same . I thought it was me . (honest ) I am so glad you posted . I think the years difference from last years summer holls has made a big difference . I also think that them going into juniors next term makes them act a bit too big for their boots so to speak . I am on a challenge to myself not to shout today and so far I am winning . I also think late nights ( holiday time no school ) makes a difference .

They sound about normal! My 5 yr old moaned the other day that we hadn't done anything exciting - I told him the he needs days like that to appreciate the exciting ones!

move your leave back a couple of weeks, then carry out threat of not taking them anywhere - so they can see what that would really be like. By the time yournleave comes up they will be very very grateful for anything they get!

On a more practical note though, I think this is normal, it isn't really that they think it it is just the way they feel at that exact moment in time! They are not actually thinking of the things you have done just what they are doing right then and there IYSWIM.

My 8 yo does the "I'm Bored" when she walks through the door - you know, just got back from one thing, off to next in 30 mins, sit down for 5 minutes - and dd2 pipes up, "there is nothing to do"...

I agree with the "too big for their boots" thing,actually another Mum at school had already said that about her DS.I think another thing is,that they would love to go off to the park on their own,but just are not old enough,so I have to tag along with them,which seems to take the fun out of it.

Have you told them they are ruddy ungrateful? I think this is normal-ish behaviour for their age, but also think you need to point out it's selfish - my mother certainly did with us and it eventually sinks in!

I have an 8 year old dd who has moaned about the fact we dont DO anything over the holidays.
They have had a big pool outin the garden to play in...I take them out on thier bikes when they want. They are free to do whatever they like in/out the house all day.. and we have had 1 day out at a castle for a picnic.
We have legoland planned and thorpe park and camping but they want that NOW and daily.
I have said you have no idea how lucky you are really, some kids get shouted at just for existing and dont have a big garden to play in.
You really have NOOOO idea.

"i am nt your personal entertainment system!"

is my favourite and well used saying , followed by

" if your bored please wash the pots and hoover the living room"

soon they know not to say they are bored, and to realise that actually everything doesn't revolve around them. if i have woprked all week and want to sit down and watch something on the telly - they can sod off

since when is it acceptable for them to think the world revolves around them? as their mother it obviously does but they are not supposed to know that - thats where teaching them some humility and sefl relience comes in -

the other phrase i use is " BOG OFF"

Sorry you're all going through this, but am so glad you posted! Agree with this completely, as I'm experiencing it too - but unfortunately don't have any solutions to offer.

I waver between understanding that this is a natural phase, and feeling angry/considering withdrawing some priviledges she takes for granted in order to show her what a good life she's got. Would love it if someone could tell me how to show/teach her to appreciate things more - she really is a very fortunate little girl who, at least for the moment, is very ungrateful. It puts me in a bad mood, and makes me want to go "on strike" which is not how I want to be around my child. Anyone know how to make them realise when efforts have been made?

Oh!!I'm glad I posted this,it's some comfort to know I'm not alone,but it's still bl**dy annoying. I had a lovely day planned for tomorrow,with a short trip on an intercity train,to a place where they could have ridden on a full size steam train.The railway line isn't long and they have been on longer ones,but I thought they would enjoy it,until this morning when they told me,"steam trains are babyish".
DH always has the car and any trips I plan have to be on public transport,but they are always quite varied,interesting and usually involve somewhere that they can run about and play as well.
It's nice to know it's them and not me.

it is def. not you! If I were you I would be seriously tempted to get up in teh morning, explain exactly what you had planned for the day, then explain that as they don't want to, you are going to spend the day tidying up the house instead. They are to spring clean their room. Hand out rubber gloves and buckets and wait to see how quickly they change their minds .

When they do, explain that it is upsetting for you when they are rude about days out that you have planned for them as you work hard to make it nice for them.

Then go for your day out - where they will have fun of course! At the end ask if they had fun if they say yes then tell tham that in future you wuld like them to say thank you for a nice day out and not XX..XX.. or whatever it is they usually come out with!

But that is just me and I am quite evil about these things

We have had a very low key "pajama day" hanging around the house with me being available to dd only off and on - vs constantly around. She has been much more pleasant to be around. Maybe sometimes there is simply too much stimulation, or maybe showing her that I have needs/demands too (rather than doing everything for myself/the house when she's at school) is the answer.

i went through exactly this at easter with DD1 aged 6. i got so cross at her being soooo ungrateful at all the fab stuff i was organising that on about day 5 when she traile dinto the kitchen and " what are we doing today...." i replied we are going to waitrose that is the days activity and then you can play in the garden ( she also has a heated pool , playhouse trampoline etc) . much kicking and screaming folllowed and on some days i literally locked the playroom doors to keep her and dd2 outside but actually worked , and they did spend most of the time making up games building dens etc. am sticking to same regime over summer! good luck.

At this age in the past children would have had much more freedon to hang out with other children and really not see their parents for hours on end during the summer holidays. Maybe they are hankering after some freedom to experiment and make their own decisions about what to do. Not really practical I know in this day and age.

I'm not sure what the answer is but it is definitelly not 'more exciting' or expensive trips.

My niece and nephew who were brought up by their dad after my sister died - got no almost trips/outings from their dad at all. They besically went with him where he wanted to go. He isn't mean at all and the kids love him, he just has has NO interest in doing kiddy type stuff and doesn't see the point.

You couldn't hope to meet more delightful kids who were genuinely enthusiastic and grateful when they visted us in England and we took them out. I have almost never heard them say that they were bored and this is in 8 years of helping to look after them for 5 weeks every summer and 2 weeks at Christmas.

They loved museum trips and still do at 13 and 15 yrs old. I took them to Chessington one year and they were absolutely amazed that there were kids there on a school visit. They get almost no school visits in Italy and what they do get are certainly not to theme parks.

This summer they spent 3 weeks with their 80 year old grandparfents and never once said their were bored either. If I asked them if they were a bit bored, they said 'not with being with nonno/nonna but I do miss my friends a bit'. That was the extent of their complaining at being stuck with 80 plus year old grandparents for 3 weeks as teenagers.

I vivdly remember taking dns to the theatre one Christmas with my cousin and her daughter. My niece was horrified when my cousin's daughter complained that her mother had bought cheap seats (she was 8 years old)!! - She was delighted to be going to the theatre at all and couldn't belive that ther other little girl was complaining about the seat.

Often the more material stuff you have the less it satisfies

So it's all round to mummydoc's for the heated pool! and leave the kids at home, the ungrateful shower - I'm sure there is some roofing and chimney cleaning they can be getting on with....

love the idea of roofing and chimmney cleaning , do think 6 is too young to be doing a little light mowing...? I'm sure that could count as an activity...

I remember doing the 'I'm bored' routine on my mum. Her response was to say 'Oh, dear' and walk off. Drove me insane at the time but it worked!