Should I be doing more re:tantrums?

[daisydee43]

Hi dd is nearly 2 and because she doesn't really say more than a few words she doesn't really understand or communicate well. She is with other kids of similar age and older at CM 2 days a week and CM says they all go through tantrums and she's just ignoring it. She's one of those tots that lays down in shops and kicks legs and screams (spesh if tired/hungry). If she gets told off at home I put her in her cot until she calms down as she doesn't understand naughty steps etc. she is currently in cot screaming cos she threw a ball in my face, is there more parenting skills I could be doing? Parenting doesn't come naturally to me as never had young cousins/siblings so I feel I could be doing more (she is only child btw)

she is currently in cot screaming cos she threw a ball in my face

I wouldn't put her straight in the cot for throwing a ball in my face. I'd stop her, say 'No throwing' and express hurt and disappointment. If she continued and couldn't be stopped or started screaming because she had been told off, I'd find her a safe place to calm down.

You need to be careful to use the cot as a positive place, not a place for punishment because she needs to feel relaxed in it to be able to go to sleep. It's OK to use it for calming down as long as you are very clear that this is a positive process, not punishment. That's a hard line to draw for a 2YO.

she doesn't understand or commincate well

do you mean she does not understand when you talm to her? can she follow instructions? does she point & comminicate nonverbally?

She does point to communicate and understands some instructions like go get your shoes

I tended to ignore dd when she tantrummed, unless she was going to hurt someone or herself. When she calmed down I'd ask her if she felt better now - nicely, usually trying not to laugh tbh - and then got on with whatever. I do remember sitting on the floor in the supermarket once and screaming back at her, but not being able to properly because it was so funny. On the whole she didn't tantrum much, it seemed worse when MIL was around as apparently she had never seen a child having a tantrum before (yeah right) so made it into a big thing.

When dd was a bit older I made her a special Angry Hat and she would put it on and shout at me about whatever had annoyed/upset her. I promised I would always listen very carefully if she had her Angry Hat on, and I did. Sometimes I could do something about it, sometimes I couldn't. DD always seemed a lot better for getting whatever it was off her chest though.

When all else fails, remember that "this too shall pass".