I am sick sore and tired of hearing "i dont want to..."

[YoureBeingASillyBilly]

Ds(8) is like a stuck record with this line. Everything i ask him to do is answered with a whiney "i dont want to brush my teeth/have a bath/eat dinner/go outside/tidy my room/go to school/bring my washing down"

Ffs- i didnt ask if you wanted to i asked you to do it! Why does everything have to be an argument?

Grrrr!

Thanks jilted

I thought I better report back after all the moaning Ive done!

His teacher was very positive, his levels are fine from what I can see he has made half a sub level progress since Sept - his reading age is fine though I did think this would be higher re the books we have and encouragement to read.

I was soooo relieved I really was. We are rewarding this progress with a tripto the see the lego movie at the end of the month. it is lovely to be able to do this after all the tearing hair out with him.

I was on a thread last week and a poster said her DH just calmly asked her DD if she was needing a lift anywhere this week...... (after DD had been rude)
I used it yesterday. Works.
I also regularly sit down. Anywhere. If the kids are whiney...well... I need to listen carefully to what they have to say. Then I need to think about it.... Well, not so regularly now, kids are wise to it! They mime zipping their mouth and go to do whatever. Humour and a very calm exterior.

A calm exterior ....not managed to ever pull that off but it is something I aspire to. When I am in in the throws of getting ready for school run I'm possessed. This AM for example I asked him to put his green school coat on and he put on his grey gillet which is never worn for school.

Everysingle day I say put you coat on do up the zip. I will o my own coat put DD in buggy tur round there it is undone every sodding day.

Well we were late this am and I made him explain why we were late which was because he took too long in the shower.

I always feel like a massive failure taking him down late.

It has taken years to have the calm exterior! I am a bit weird in that I really don't care about others perceptions of me. I am 2 minutes from school but don't give a flying fart if the kids are late. I know that they got up at 7.30. The kids know I will inform school of why they are late. Worse, I have shown the kids the outfit I will wear out with them if they are being particularly repetitively annoying. I will wear this even though 'I don't want to' I appreciate not everyone has pink cowboy boots
The weird bit is I can't be pushy/confrontational in case I upset someone. (unless it's for my DC) So I do care.... don't tell my kids though!

How about a reward chart/system for doing as he's asked without complaint? That way you're reinforcing positive behaviour. If he 'doesn't want to' take him at his word and don't get into a dialogue about it (so you're not giving attention to negative behaviour). He won't go to school in pjs more than once

thanks for tips

poor The reward chart is something Ive never resorted to because I expect him to behave ie follow instructions to get ready because that is reasonable part and parcel of everyday life. BUT i think i'm gonna have too. I'll give it a go.

ghost Thanks for tips, I should threaten to walk DS to school in my PJ's they are a a bright fuchsia pink paisley I'll have to get inventive and break this cycle of batting back all the time..and nagging.

thinking I know what you mean but it's amazing how much difference incentive makes. It is lots of effort though being all positive and rewarding things that they should do anyway, but the current scenario is exhausting. Hope it goes well

As someone not yet in this situation, it's easy to recommend the reward system. I guess kids need to understand that actions have consequences. It's not like we like doing anything either but we know what the benefits are, they don't!