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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

were's my calm, independant dd gone ????

10 replies

melsy · 08/03/2004 19:24

For the last few nights dd 6months nearly wakes up at 10:00 every night, doesnt cry but just plays until we give her 10:30 feed. She also has started to not fall asleep on 6:30 bottle , (yes I know its naughty but hey), she now refuses that last few oz's closes her eyes on me so I lay her in the cot, which she normally is happy with, hugs her teddys and goes of to sleep. Now I lay her in give her teddys and she opens her eyes grins and then plays with teddy, I leave the room and she starts bawling. I go in try and give her some more milk she refuses so I put her back say night night leave and she starts bawling again. I left her this time to cry and now she has finally fallen asleep. Is it the start of seperation anxiety as she seems a little more like this during the day. I used to be able to leave her play in her bouncer cradle or on her mat for ages.

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twiglett · 08/03/2004 19:26

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Original poster

melsy · 08/03/2004 19:29

Will have to stand firm and IGNORE her , I did it this evening it seems to have worked. She is soooo nosey now, you just have to creep in to check on her and she cranes herself up to have a look. It is very funny , but also difficult.

OP posts:

Grommit · 08/03/2004 19:56

Hi Melsy - like Twiglett says sounds like she now realised that by cring she can get you back. May be time to resort to controlled crying - usually works but can be very distressing (for you!) good luck.

Evita · 08/03/2004 20:35

melsy, I noticed real differences in dd's falling asleep at around 6-7 months. Previously she'd suck her thumb and go off without a whimper but then we started to get various problems with her resisting sleep. I think around the 7 month mark they learn to deliberately stay awake and yes, definitely use this technique to keep you right where they want you! You're doing exactly the right thing by encouraging her to sleep by herself even if it does mean a bit of crying. I used to let dd fall asleep on my breast at night but she stopped doing that and also gave up her thumb and we had to do what loads of other people had been doing since around 3 months! Even now at 17 months she still causes a bit of a stink sometimes at bed times but I've got quite used to it now and try not to give in. She needs to sleep, you need some time, it has to happen.

handlemecarefully · 09/03/2004 08:10

You mention her 6.30 bottle and her night time routine...18.30 seems quite early for bed time. Most of my friends toddlers have a 19.30 ish bed time.Perhaps she has made the transition from young baby (who seem to need slightly more sleep) to older baby who needs slightly less?

Also at 6 months, as others have mentioned, babies start to exercise free will and test mummy out!

Original poster

melsy · 09/03/2004 08:35

I hadnt thought of that handlemecarefully, to be honest I suppose I have been putting her to bed that time for a while and it means I get time off in the evening sooner !!

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aloha · 09/03/2004 08:59

she's also falling in love with you, wants to be with you, enjoys your company and love and has fun with you. She hates you to leave her because she's more in love with you than anyone else in the world. I am NOT saying that you have to go in every time she makes a noise - definitely not. My ds often cried briefly before he went to sleep and for a while it became routine for us. But I thought it might help to think of her like that, rather than as a manipulative little minx, which she really isn't at that age.

Original poster

melsy · 09/03/2004 09:11

Awww that made me go all emotional Aloha. She is a little darling, I dont feel that she is manipulating . I remember you saying months ago that we shouldnt put those labels on our children , as you were annoyed with something my mum said!!!. I try and see it all in a different light now. I know she is learning and I like wathching it. I find it amusing , as will as bemusing!!

OP posts:

aloha · 09/03/2004 09:57

They are yummy, aren't they? I remember now being cross with your mum!! Your dd does sound like a gorgeous little girl.

Evita · 09/03/2004 20:26

aloha's right melsy. It's really rather an adorable thing that they don't want us to go away. It's only because we're so knackered and counting on some babyfree time that we sometimes lose sight of that. When I'm trying to wash up and dd is hanging off my trousers saying like a little robot 'mama mama mama' until I pick her up I always remind myself that it's actually v. sweet that she wants my attention. They are yummier than anything else ever and we won't have them little for long.

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