Toddler Food Refusal.

[PastaandCheese]

2.3 DD will only eat:

Pasta with various sauces
Fishfingers
All fruit inc dried
Ham / cheese / toast
Porridge
Milk
Yoghurt
Any sweet treat I give her on occasion.

Until she was about 18 mths she ate everything I cooked. She eats everything put in front of her 3 days a week at nursery. I've tried reproducing their recipes but she just screams and won't even try it.

I have had great advice about still serving the things she claims not to like and not reacting or offering alternatives and I've worked very hard to fight my feelings in this respect.

Does anyone know when it will ever get any better though? 9 months of throwing her dinner away where it isn't from her approved list is getting me down.

It's so bad now that if I choose something different she even objects to me eating 'yukky' food and gets upset about that.

Is there anything else I should be doing?

PastaandCheese I think your approach sound excellent and you are already following a lot of the advice that's given in the little blighters book. We are in it for the long game, but as others have said a healthy attitude to food for our LO's is the goal. And I dunno about you but since I've had a more relaxed attitude about it all it has certainly taken the stress and dread out of mealtimes for me and DP. We chat away to her all the while keeping an eye on her plate, when she eats something new it's hard not to shout yes!! And do a victory dance And you are right about the praise it's not required as the book points out eating is not a difficult task that warrants praise. Keep at it you are doing great!

We're the chief, giving them options and letting them decide at 2 what 'they need' is crazy.

Nobody is advocating sending them to choose from the fridge and the biscuit tin

You provide what you think is appropriate for them to eat as part of a balanced diet. You allow them to choose what to eat from what you put in front of them. When they've had enough you take the rest away. That isn't crazy in the slightest.

You don't know how full they feel or what nutrient their bodies need a bit more of that day. They are the ones who feel those sensations and they can't effectively express them to you.

Don't you ever have a bit more salad because you're really enjoying it that day or feel a bit full and have a smaller lunch than normal?

jaybird her behaviour improved in leaps and bounds as soon as I stopped getting upset or frustrated and even though deep down I wish she would enjoy more variety meal times are mostly pleasant. We enjoy taking her out to eat with us too.

murphy she will often ask me to cook meatballs and spaghetti or similar but she is mostly accepting when I say no we're having X today so she doesn't get a choice but I do cook pasta of some sort twice a week because we all enjoy it.

Ah, so you've had a recent egg-related victory too, Pasta!

I guess that means we must be doing something right...

I think if they latch onto something (like breadsticks or yoghurt in our case! ) then stop giving them entirely.

Offer the meal nothing else. They are old enough to learn the consequence of not eating their dinner.

My 2 year old has refused to eat anything a few times, her decision and she eats much better at the next meal. I honestly think offering any alternative is a mistake, especially bland and boring, they are toddlers' favourite foods!

My 4 year old was just like my two year old. She eats really well now. We insist on manners respect for food and that she eats most of what she's given. She is old enough. My son isn't.

Just give it time. It'll become obvious when your toddlers are old enough for more to be expected of them.

Having the same problems with my dd who is 2.1. Lunch is her big problem she generally eats a big breakfast and dinner but lunch is very hit and miss. She is a complete terror for the cm and my pack lunch often ends up on the floor. Have tried coaxing her to eat and forcing her to stay at the table but it ends up with everyone unhappy. Dh and I have both had to learn to be more relaxed and if she eats great if she doesn't deep breaths and the dog eats well!!!!! Pleased to read that, that tactic has in the end worked

Give her what you eat. Don't offer anything else. Don't talk about the food at all, don't pass comment on how much she has/hasn't eaten. Eat together, cook together. Don't fill her up with pasta and other obvious crap. Enjoy sitting together