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9 year old using bad/foul language

2 replies

Madmammy83 · 03/02/2014 13:28

Bear with me, I've never started a thread before so I'm not sure if I'm doing it right.

My 9 year old son changed schools in January due to long-term issues at his old school - he was being bullied and the school were doing nothing, he'd come home with notes in his bag from kids going to "kick his ass" or calling him a loser, he'd regularly come home with personal items missing or destroyed and the final straw was when he arrived home with his trousers ripped. It was also a small school with kids from 8-12 all in the one room.

Anyway, we got him out and found him a placement at another school. He seemed to be doing great - I haven't had to call him once in the morning, we've had no arguments about having a day off, he's been all chat about his new friends - until today, when myself and my husband (his father) were called in to discuss his first month.

I wasn't overly worried - he can be mouthy, and he can give cheek, but he's improved a lot in the last few months (we had another baby last year which took him a long time to get his head around, but he loves him now and runs straight for him every evening, so I don't think there's a jealousy issue). He will not use bad language in front of me, and if he makes a crude joke he's heard elsewhere he gets punished (games removed for a week).

The teacher showed me a list of incidents, all involving the most foul language - he has been telling people to "suck my d*ck", "your Daddy doesn't have privates, only an empty space" "kiss my granny's wrinkly bum" "I'll stick your head up a cow's bum". Apparently he pointed to his crotch and shouted "cream on this".

I'm sick. I don't know where he's heard language like that, I was mortified, embarrassed and disgusted when I read it. The teacher was lovely and said she'd dealt with it in school but for us to have a chat with him at home. Of course the first thing he'll say is "I didn't say that" but I need a bit of help here. Neither my husband or I use language like that. He doesn't have access to the internet. We do swear, we're not angels, but this is so far beyond anything I've heard in everyday life. "Cream on this" - WHAT?!

He has access to the TV, to a DVD player, and to his PSP. He doesn't have any 18s games, he visits friends rarely, and there are no "adult" DVDs or magazines in the house. As far as I was aware he has been watching iCarly, Victorious, Spongebob. I am in the house and can plainly hear and see the television.

I've taken the PSP away, I've taken his DVD player away, and I've rang Sky and changed the PIN on the account and pin-coded all kids channels. He's not an angel, but he's a helpful little lad, kind, always wants a hug before school & when he comes home - I'm genuinely shocked here and could use any advice in dealing with this. Husband is equally at a loss and has no clue what to do.

I feel sick.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
dietstartsmonday · 03/02/2014 13:39

Hi mad,

To be honest I would suspect he had picked it up at school, if you cannot think of anywhere else.

Possibly his old one looking at what you have said about that.

It may be a case of him saying things before others do.

I think sit down with him and explain why this is unacceptable and ask the school to inform you of incident as it occurs so that you can deal with it as soon as possible.

I have 2 boys ( now teens) and one of mine used to say things I found not suitable. But mainly based around bums. It was just boy silliness really, but I came down on it quite hard, and it did stop.

murphy36 · 03/02/2014 20:53

Agree with die, boy sillyness that you should come down on strictly.

Not sure if you collect him from school or not. If you could get daily feedback from the teacher and run a suitable punishment. Do that for a few weeks and then slacken off

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