Struggling with my 15mo

[slightlyconfused85]

My DD is almost 15 months, and I really feel like I'm not being a good parent at the moment. She is currently waking very early in the mornings and still putting up a fight about her nap after lunch despite being exhausted (although sleeps for 1,5-2 hours once she's finished complaining about it). She seems to constantly whine and grizzle. She hates going in the pushchair for more than about 10 minutes, and when she goes in the car she'll only manage for half an hour before she cries then too. She's perfected the art of the tantrum so if we leave anywhere she wants to be, she goes stiff and has to be carried out! She seems to be always hungry, no matter how much I give her to eat, and I seem to spend all day feeding her.

I love her to death, she is cute and funny and clever, but someone tell me it's going to feel a bit easier soon?! She doesn't say much (hiya, daddy, rara, duck, ta) so maybe it's frustration, and perhaps she is just spirited but everyone else seems to have got past the grizzly stage and have contented toddlers by now. Feel like a bit of a crappy mummy, although my DP and I never shout and are calm people

You shouldn't feel bad. Especially if you are managing this calmly without shouting, as it can get very hard.

I only have the one DD, 16 months, so I may be way off the mark. But the biggest thing that makes a difference to my DD's general happiness and ability to cope with things is how much sleep she's had. Followed by whether she is full.

Do you have a gro clock or equivalent? How consistent are you when she wakes early, either in the morning or from her nap, in getting her back to sleep? It might seem horrendous if she resists her nap but does she need 2? We thought that our DD was ready for one nap a day but we've gone back to 2 and the difference has been amazing.

Unless your DD is overweight I wouldn't worry about feeding her as much as she wants. Being hungry will just add to her grizzling and eating keeps toddlers busy.

If you think that it might be frustration with speaking, have you tried some baby sign language? Signs for food and drink might go down well if your DD is hungry. I've found that even signs for things that usually DD doesn't want to do are still useful, and she seems a lot calmer when I sign to tell her what's coming up.

pile thanks so much for all these suggestions. Her usual wake up time is 6.30/6.45 but over the weekend 6am and today 5.30 :-( We did not get her up until 6.30 despite her very loud protests. I have heard about a groclock but is she too young to understand this? Do you use one?

She is not overweight, but big all round (off the chart for height and just above 91st for weight) so she needs a lot of food to keep her going, I don't mind giving her lots but she never seems full!

She has one nap as I was finding if she slept in the morning then the afternoon was refused and she would be awake for 8 hours or so before bed. Perhaps I will attempt two again, although I'm not sure she will go to sleep twice. If it's made a difference to your DD it's certainly worth a go.

For her food she typcially has: 1x weetabix and half a piece of toast & marmite for breakfast, dried fruit and ricecakes for a snack, a cheese and tomato (or something like this) sandwich and a fromage frais for lunch, a banana for an afternoon snack, and dinner of meat/carb/veg (toddler plate) followed by some fruit, like a whole satsuma, some pear or a handful of grapes. She also has a cup of milk in the morning and before bed. Is there more filling/different nutrion type food that would make her feel fuller do you think, perhaps for the snacks? and less grizzly? She eats something roughly every two hours during the day.

I also have a very hungry baby now 20m and have been giving Quakers porridge for breakfast for months. She eats as much as i would plus often toast this seems to both keep her going and help her be tired for her nap. I tried something different a few times and found constant snacking.
(Shes 50%.)
For the car try nursery rhymes cd.

We started with a gro clock when DD was 10 months as we were desperate and by 11 months it was worth its weight in gold. Obviously we couldn't explain the idea to DD, but we set the clock to night time as part of her bedtime routine and were really consistent in settling her back down if it was still 'night' time. As soon as the clock was 'awake', we'd go in and get her, and make a big fuss of the lit-up clock so that she would get the connection. I think that before the clock, part of her frustration at night was that, from her point of view, she would get a random response when she was awake (i.e. whether we went into her room to settle her back down or get her up would seem really random). Now she knows what to expect.

My DD is a relatively small toddler. But she can easily eat 3 weetabix for breakfast, plus fruit. I just keep offering food at every meal/snack until she's had enough. It's a bit random though, some days she eats loads and others just isn't interested. Your DD's diet sounds really good and at least she eats veg .