not dyslexia so why can't my son read at 8yo

[sbutt78]

I really really thought my son was dyslexic. The school have tested him and say he is not! But he cant read at 8 years old and everything else is below par too. He doesn't understand money, the time, days of the week. We had a meeting last night with behaviour support, Headteacher, deputy head and teacher and they all say the same as me he's defiant, agressive, disruptive etc. He is finally at the top of the list to see the E.P., appointment is in February. Would should I expect out of this? The school don't have any extra funds to be giving him 1-2-1 support. I think the school are trying all they can to limit his behaviour difficulties but what about his learning. The behaviour is stopping him learning :( :(

Wow. I feel for you.
The school won't have funds for extra support until something is diagnosed to be the matter, ie causing the delay.
I don't have personal experience of this, but in your position would go to the EP armed with questions. They will want to assess him, but you need to ask:

• what is the process here?
• what are the barriers to his learning?
• what are the barriers to his behaviour/obedience?
• what tools can I use to overcome these?
• what tools can school use?

Take those (and any others) written down, take notes during the meeting, take contact details and ask if you can get back in touch. IME these meetings can be really emotionally overwhelming for you (because it's such a huge issue in your life) and the things you mean to ask fly out of your head. Good luck with getting through this. Sorry I don't have proper knowledge, but I'm sure someone with experience will be along

Thank you Rooble.. School and behaviour support are putting lots of great things in place and I am working with the same tools at home so hoping this will have a positive effect :-)

He is so far behind at school at the moment I'm finding it difficult to see how this is going to improve. So much time is being put into controlling his behaviour that his learning is affected.

he needs 1-2-1 support but like you say I'm not going to get that until something is diagnosed :( they even told me last night that soon behaviour difficulties will be not statemented? so extra help is doubtful. Hopefully the E.D will be able to see how far behind he is and request extra help? Is that how it works? I don't know.

Could his behaviour stem from frustration at being in the wrong learning environment?

I knew my son had problems from very early on, so not exactly your same situation. He was at a mainstream school for reception and year 1, he had a full time 1 to 1. He was becoming physically aggressive, angry, difficult.

I can now imagine how he felt: He could see that all the children were able to do things he couldn't, how would that make you feel?

He is now in an excellent specialist school, he is happy and making progress.

He is 9 and is only just starting to read, it will be a long road for him but I honestly thought I'd never see him even recognise letters.

You need to push for a statement.

I would get him tested privately if you can afford it, unless you are 100% sure the school got a very experienced educational psychologist to do the testing already. Schools are sometimes terrible at understanding dyslexia (my neighbour's bitter experience with three dyslexic children).

Thanks Timetoask. I'm hoping by seeing the E.P. they will acknowledge that he needs extra help and help him get a statement. Is that what they do?

He was a late talker and even now has speech/language barriers. The behaviour possibly is that he feels that everyone else is doing so well and he isn't. The school are putting some smaller targets in place for him and they have a reward system going getting all the children involved... so that might spur him on to succeed. Fingers crossed.

But he needs 1-2-1 help :( Do some schools give them and some schools don't? Am I am at school that doesn't have funds but others do. I really don't know.

Thanks clara.... The SENCO at the school did the test. Perhaps we should look at private testing too. Something to think about. Thank you x

Hi OP. We had a private E.P report, our aim wasn't to get a diagnosis but to determine what type of learning environment he really needed based on his difficulties.

We sent every single report we had to the L.E.A when we applied for the statement, I believe they do take into account the information that parents provide, however, the LEA also insists on having their own team assess him as well. He was placed in a school with a language support unit for one term before agreeing with us that he needed a specialist school.

In my experience a 1 to 1 for the severity of learning that your child seems to have is not enough. In the case of my son, he was getting completely frustrated at having someone breathing down his neck all the time, he needed to learn some independent learning. Learning as part of a group (with children having the same or similar barriers to learning) is hugely beneficial for the self esteem of children. A mainstream school with a good language support unit is a fantastic start.

These people are helpful: www.ipsea.org.uk

I you would like, I can PM you the name of my son's school. (I moved in order to get him into this school).

Might be worth getting his hearing and eyesight checked just in case? A family member of mine was 10 before a professional picked up it was hearing loss causing all sorts of problems.

A child does not and should not need a diagnosis to access help or get a statement.

I think people on the special needs children board would probably have some good ideas about how to access that help, and who you need to speak too. (my son is only 3.6 and has different issues so I am not much help!)

Hi timetoask, yes can you message me the name of the school please.

wheretogonow - i've had his hearing and eyes checked :-)

hazeyjane - thank you x

I have PM'd you.
Good luck!

Can he read at all? There is such a thing as Specific Reading Comprehension Deficits where a child cannot understand what they are reading. He could therefore read the words, sound out the letters etc but make no sense of what he is reading. It could also be possible he has an eye tracking problem making it difficult/impossible for him to read, and exhausting to try (leading to behaviour problems). I think you have a huge elephant in the room in the fact you have an 8 year old apparently unable to read, but no-one is calling Learning Difficulty. Of course it is also possible he is dyslexic and the school's tests simply are not comprehensive enough to identify it. Some children will be missed by school screening tests, which is why you need an Ed. Pysch to assess him.
You could have a behaviour disorder like Oppositional Defiance Disorder but this is comparatively rare. Much more likely is a child that is experiencing so much difficulty and stress at school that he is blowing up in behavioural terms. No child actually wants to fail at school and is is actuely stressful for them when they do. Am crossing fingers for you that you get to see an Ed. Psych sooner rather than later who can give your DS some comprehensive evaluations to identify his problem(s) and, as importantly, give you and the school effective stategies to help him catch up and regain his confidence and enjoyment of learning.

Also on time, money, days of week etc. you could look for an assessment for dyscalculia. If he finds writing very difficult (not just physically doing it but planning what to write, writing things that make sense etc) then assess for dysgraphia.

Sorry - last post I think. If he is also having problems with remembering things you have told him multiple times, simple stuff like alphabetical order, months of the year, familiar birthdays etc. look to have him assessed for Audio Processing Disorder.

What about making an appointment with go and asking for a referral to a pediatrician to rule out any medical causes for delay. Can be v useful to have their support if he needs additional funded help in School.

I would apply for a statement of SEN. Asap as the new legislation (EHCPs) kicks in in Sept.
A statement is the only way to guarantee that his needs will be met.
and pop over to the special needs chidren board. there a fww parents with children with similar difficulties around and a lot of experience on how to get a statement sorted :)

Thank you all for your messages.

He was excluded again today for physical assault on an adult. Asked him why and he said the teacher and head annoyed him! They asked him to stop throwing paper clips around the class. He's not allowed back to school till Wednesday where I am meeting with the E.P. I am so hoping that they can help me and tell me what is wrong!
Thanku all x

Also sorry back to the reading. He can't read anything bigger than 3 or some 4 letter words. Even some of those is a struggle. X