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Behaviour/development

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Weird supper time struggle?

7 replies

Monstersincq · 30/01/2014 18:49

DS (2.2)is being really really weird about supper. Lately he is desperate for his supper eats a bite then goes really strange, something like me cutting his food (after he has asked me to cut his food) means he throws a tantrum, cries, or mills about the kitchen table looking at me weirdly. After up to nearly an hour of this, (I mostly try and ignore, keep pottering and chatting in kitchen and just occasionally say something like would you like me to help you with your supper) he'll then weirdly eat completely happily every last bite and be completely jolly. It's not about the actual food I don't think. He'll eat all sorts. Although i am sure if it were nuggets and chipswe wouldnt have the same thing. It's just some kind of weird emotional thing that I can't understand.

I've always been fairly consistent about supper. Tactic of never making meals into a big deal, just chatting around the table enjoying food blah blah. And when he says he's finished I always just say that's fine and don't usually try and cajole to eat more unless he has been ill etc. No eating outside of meals apart from three o clock snack.

Have also always had him v involved in the cooking, watching what's being made etc. we usually cook together a few times a week.

What do you think this could be about? My mum says that children are often odd about food because its the only thing in their life they have control over? I am quite strict I suppose? I don't know. Beginning to question myself rather a lot!

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Doubletroublemummy2 · 30/01/2014 20:57

2yr olds are very good at making you question yourself, it's not the terrible twos for nothing. Sounds like you are handling it really well. He will eventually either tell whats bugging him or get over it. Just a heads up, I reckon the person who coined the phrase terrible twos, never made it to three!

Auntierosemary · 30/01/2014 21:09

This sounds familiar. My older daughter, now three, does a bit of this. It is almost as if she is wanting to cause an argument or just wanting to stand her ground over nothing. Even if she is hungry and has been given food she loves she will often pretend to not want it and make a song and dance about eating it. I think it is about control and resisting our authority. Kids this age are like mini dictators, they want to be in charge of everything, and agreeing to eat food that someone else has given them is a bit like surrendering control.
We just ignore it and pretend not to mind whether she eats or not, but give her lots of praise when she does finish her dinner. I suppose that gives our game away - she knows we want her to eat her dinner, which is reason enough for her to try her best not to!
If you find a way of cracking it please come back and let me know.

enriquetheringbearinglizard · 30/01/2014 23:02

No solutions except to back up the control theory.

I chose my battles when mine were little and food wasn't one of them. I gave them some control as they got bigger e.g there are three veg tonight, which two would you like or do you want some of all? and occasionally I used to let them have back to front supper with pudding first (usually when I was running late Blush)

Anyway they grew up ok and they eat well. The one who had a really strange stage in her teens (plain pasta with butter and chicken, no other meats including turkey - which was a bit odd - chips and fruit but hardly anything else) now eats as wide a range, if not more, than me.

Try hard not to overstress, food and sleep issues are awful when they're happening, but as we say, it passes.

Monstersincq · 31/01/2014 12:43

Thanks everyone. So do we think just ride it out and hope will pass?

Or maybe trying to get him more involved every time I cook so he feels more in control?

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Middleagedmotheroftwo · 31/01/2014 12:47

This too shall pass - it's just a phase.

To avoid the cutting up arguments, you could present food already cut up on the plate before you put it on the table in front of him.

Auntierosemary · 31/01/2014 13:04

Ps another thing that works sometimes with us is having all the cooked food on plates or bowls in the middle of the table and letting the kids serve themselves. Seems to make them feel like they have made their own dinner and are therefore happier to eat it!

yummystepford · 31/01/2014 13:08

Maybe you haven't cut it how he wants it to be cut? My friends little boy was similar and there were a few specific strange request she would follow to avoid tantrums.

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