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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Should a 4 year old be able to tie shoelaces ????

27 replies

nutcracker · 06/03/2004 20:12

When i collected my 4yr old dd from nursery yesterday, she seemed to be a bit concerned that she had only got one star that day instead of two. I told her not to worry, as you can't get two every day or they would run out (trying to make a joke of it). However, then she told me that her teacher had said she couldn't have the second star because she couldn't do her laces up, on her trainers. They had been to a ball pool (instead of swimming as pool was shut) and we had previously had a letter asking us not to let them wear, tights, laces, dungarees, or things with lots of buttons, as they struggle to do them up them selves. I have no prob with this but it does kind of limit the things that she can wear on swimming days.
I have the feeling that the teacher did this on purpose, because i shouldn't of sent her in trainers. She can't seriously expect a 4yr old to be able to do their laces up can she ???? My 6 yr old can't.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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tamum · 06/03/2004 20:16

Nor my 9 year old, nutcracker. He's not exactly Mr Coordinated, so that probably doesn't mean much, but dd is 6 and can't tie shoelaces, and she's pretty dextrous. Sounds really mean of them to me

JJ · 06/03/2004 20:20

My 6 yo can't either. Agree with tamum, sounds mean.

alibubbles · 06/03/2004 20:23

My DD spent the last 5 minutes of each afternoon in the first week at pre prep learning to tie laces, and their ties. They all had to do it and could do so by the end of the first week, they were 4 and a bit, the parents were all surprised but they are physically capable of it if they try, so I am not surprised they are expected too.

WideWebWitch · 06/03/2004 20:25

Nah, my 6yo wouldn't be able to either. How mean.

Angeliz · 06/03/2004 20:25

Surely it would've been easier to just help the child and not make an issue,
'how to give a child a complex in one easy step!!!!!'
If she was annoyed at you, she should have told you, not taken it out on the child! She sounds like a misery nutcracker!!

I can't answer your question as my dd is only 3 but wanted to add my tuppeneth!!!(sp??!!!)

ScummyMummy · 06/03/2004 20:26

I agree with JJ and tamum- sounds like the teacher was being a meanie, northerner. My two nearly fives are nowhere near shoelace success and I would be most cross if they were penalised for that at school.

ScummyMummy · 06/03/2004 20:27

and www and angeliz

Original poster

nutcracker · 06/03/2004 20:31

She is a misery Angeliz. I was most dissapointed when i was told who her teacher was going to be.
When my dd1 was at the nursery, i once heard this teacher ask a little boy to do something, and he didn't answer her. She then shouted "whats the matter with you, are you deaf or something".
Thankfully my dd will finish in July

OP posts:

Slinky · 06/03/2004 20:57

Both my 4.5 yo and 6 yo are unable to tie shoelaces!!

I think I was well into primary school before I managed to do mine

Beetroot · 06/03/2004 21:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

ScummyMummy · 06/03/2004 21:03

Sorry, nutcracker. Don't know why I called you northerner earlier. Glad your dd will escape her soon.

suedonim · 06/03/2004 21:10

Heavens above, I dare say some 4yo's can tie laces but I've never met one! None of mine could tie laces at that age and I clearly recall learning to tie a bow, and thus laces, myself. I must have been at least 6 and I was in the back of the car, fiddling with a bit of lilac ribbon when, hey presto, I could do it!

When ds1 started school his cruddy old teacher moaned constantly that he couldn't tie his own tie, which apparently was much more important for his education than the fact he could already tell the time and had learnt to read by the end of his first week. We sweated blood and tears every evening for I don't know how long, trying to help him tie that bl%dy tie.

misdee · 06/03/2004 21:39

grrrrr. i couldnt tie laces till i was about8 or 9. thats what velcro is for!!!!

Janh · 06/03/2004 22:17

nutty, DS2 couldn't tie laces unti he was at least 7 - had to keep getting him velcro shoes. Teacher is obviously a bad-tempered bat. Very mean to not give her a star for that.

Yes, some kids can tie laces/swim/ride bikes before they start school but most can't and it's really unfair to penalise the ones who can't do it yet.

Give her another hug in the morning and tell her it doesn't matter, she'll be able to do it before long.

hercules · 06/03/2004 22:20

Send her there with knee length lace up boots.

SueW · 06/03/2004 22:22

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at OP's request.

mummytojames · 06/03/2004 22:37

i think being a teacher the (not)nice lady wouldhave realized that children develope at there own pace and if she dont like it then she should get another proffesion not every one is the same the same as learning were not the same so i think that teacher should have given her the star for tryingbecause that was what they used to mean when i was in school not wether you did it or not but the fact you tried (teacher big meanie

mrsforgetful · 06/03/2004 23:08

NUTCRACKER.....i'd like to tie those shoelaces around that teachers ............ Ooops! No violence allowed!!!!
Seriously.....I cannot believe she is that stupid!!! (i mean why was velcro invented!!!!?)
I suppose she expects them to be able to make her a cup of tea too!!!

Rae1973 · 07/03/2004 00:02

Personally, I think she is just being picky, at my ds1's school they won't even help them put their gloves or pumps on and if they can't get gloves on and fasten theirs coats they leave them to go cold

Freckle · 07/03/2004 08:49

All my children could tie laces at age 3-4, but that was because they went to a Montessori nursery and were taught there. I certainly didn't teach them, nor expect them to be able to do it. However, since leaving nursery, they have invariably chosen velcro shoes/trainers and consequently lost the art. In fact DS1 needed new shoes last week and is now at a size where the shoes are almost all lace=ups. It was rather amusing to see him trying to remember how to do it. He seems to have recovered the knack as I'm certainly not faffing around with his shoes and trainers every time he wants to put them on.

Unless the nursery has taught them to do laces, and therefore knows that they can, it is entirely unreasonable to expect a 4yo to be able to do it.

roisin · 07/03/2004 10:15

Neither of my two can do shoelaces - they are 6.5 and nearly 5. However, I've always chosen to put them in velcro shoes/trainers, so that they can cope by themselves. At age 4 I think it's unreasonable to put them in shoes that they can't manage themselves.

carla · 07/03/2004 11:04

No. Mine went to a Montesorri too and they didn't teach them - just asked parents to buy velcro.

Original poster

nutcracker · 09/03/2004 11:53

Rae1973 - I know what you mean about the gloves too. They have told us that they have to have mittens becay=use they haven't got time to put thir fingers in the right places.

They can be very picky there.

OP posts:

nutcracker · 09/03/2004 11:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

iota · 09/03/2004 12:03

when ds1 stared in Reception in September the teacher asked the parents to buy shoes with velcro fasteners, as it was so time-consuming for the staff to have to lace up trainers and shoes for all the kids.

I must admit that I always chose velcro fasteners for his footwear because he can do it himself - maybe one day I will get around to showing him how to tie a shoelace.........

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