if you are a sahm with dc in pre school year, what is your routines, and what responsibilities do you give to dc?

[Twobusyboys]

Think i am having a wobble on my parenting confidence. I am hoping i may get some advice here. I sometimes worry i maybe baby my ds1 a bit. He is 4.5. I tend to put his shoes on etc just cos its quicker but suspect i should insist he does these things himself. I am hoping to start a few new rules and routines to help his independance before school. He is currently in pre school 5 mornings for 2.5 hrs.
Hoping for advice from others on what responsibilities are reasonable at this age.

Should i lay out clothes night before and let him dress himself when he gets up?
How much do you get your dc to 'help' around house? Do they put clothes away themselves etc?
What should i expect at dinner table? Do you insist on knife and fork at all times? Do you make them ask to leave table? Do you insist on waiting til others finish before they can leave etc?

Hi there.
My ds is almost 4, in preschool 2 days a week and nursery 1 day. He dresses himself, puts his own shoes and coat on usually quick enough if not too quick before I've got myself and baby ready to go. He eats really well so don't tend to give too many rules with eating but doesn't tend to use a knife much, he'd love to but he makes a mess with one! Goes to the toilet by himself (shouts if he needs help wiping post no2). He sometimes tidies up his toys, usually when asked to. Helps me in the kitchen, likes peeling carrots etc, cleans himself in the bath, not hair though. He's great with it all now but used to be a nightmare as wouldn't let me help with much but after much practice he's a really low maintenance little thing so I say if your ds wants to do things just let him, if not then help him. Everyone's very different! x

Oh with housework I ask my ds to make his bed, he does it but it still looks like he just climbed out of it. Has to ask to leave the table but don't tend to make him stay at the table at home as it's more hassle than it's worth! x

My DS1 is only 3.7. He can dress himself if he wants to. He can do his shoes and get his cost on, but can't yet do zips or buttons (I'll have a go at these with him soon). He is able to use a knife and fork, the knife has been recent though. He can be pretty messy if he doesn't concentrate at mealtimes. He has to ask to get down (work in progress) but takes his plate out.

In the kitchen he can peel carrots, crack eggs and generally be quite useful.

However, he will be pretty young in his year at school so I am working on stuff when he is in the mood. As long as we are getting there overall I don't insist on everything all the time. If he's tired, I'll dress him. If he's playing up, it's not a day to insist on improving his table manners, just on keeping a minimum standard. I feel the same as you though, September is looming and I am very aware he needs to be pretty self sufficient at that point or he's going to find school harder than he needs to.

Our 3.8 year old mostly dresses himself, uses cutlery, asks to leave table, helps to tidy but vast majority of time has to be prompted although sometimes he decides to dress himself before we wake up and usually in an interesting fashion choice - on Christmas Day he wore stripey trousers that are too short for him, monkey t shirt with elf hat and welly socks.

For school the last headmistress that did a school tour with me said the best things you can do to prepare your child for school is teach them how to undress and dress themselves, take themselves to the toilet and read to them. Sound advice.

Thanks everyone. My ds can do most of the things you mention but i think hes a bit lazy. He isnt a boy who insists on doing things like dressing himself. He prefersif i do it! We are in scotland. So he is starting primary 1. Which i think may have higher expectations than reception!

"Mummy do it" is also a very popular phrase in this house! Good luck - if he can do it am sure it won't take long just a bit of patience (it took us 30 mins the other day waiting for DS to put his trousers on himself although he put on the rest quickly after that battle of the wills).

Hi OP

My DS2 is the same age as yours and also goes to pre-school 5 mornings a week. I also usually help him to get dressed and put on his shoes in the morning. Like your DS, he is a bit lazy and prefers me to do it.

I am definitely guilty of babying him - when DS1 was this age he had two younger siblings, so I'm sure I was too busy with them to help him!

I'm not too worried about it. I know he can do it, and I'm sure he'll become more independent in time.

At the table, he has a knife and fork but also uses his fingers to help push the food onto the fork. Re housework, he usually puts his own plate and cup in the dishwasher, sometimes helps unload the dishwasher, and helps me tidy his toys when you can't see the floor in the playroom any more .

Thanks everyone. Its nice to hear we are not too far off. I thought i might get replies telling me i was mad to still be helping him and that everyone had little chores for their kids. Its difficult sometimes to give ds1 chores with ds2 around. I could get him to put his dishes in the dishwasher but ds2 will come along and want to 'help' by taking everything back out again!

Seriously my ds was a nightmare as so independent! He has got better and faster now though thank god! He is easily distracted too so has to be prompted sometimes? Sometimes it's just easier to take over and do it if you're in a rush so I'd say you're pretty normal even if you do baby him a bit, who doesn't! x

It is very much a question of time. When I have the time I let them mess around figuring things out.I am often doing dishes when the kids play dress up and when they come and ask for helpbi tell them I can help in a minute or they can have a go themselves and if they are still trying when I'm done I'll help them. House work again depends on time. If I am doing the frantic 20 mins before the grandparents turn up, clean then no way but if we are pottering around then they love to "help". They dust, hoover, do dishes, pack clothes away, chop veg for dinner. Inhale patience, exhale expectation

My ds can dress himself (he's 4 and at preschool) but prefers I did it. I do because I don't get him ready everyday - our nanny does and he listens to her.

I've just started on him doing his bed. He will help tidy but needs reminding.

He's pretty independent at preschool which might be why he isn't when it's me as wants to be babied. His little sister is the complete opposite.