3.5 year old wetting herself

[uptheauntie]

My rather strong willed 3.5 year old DD has been wetting herself at least once (normally 2 or 3 times) a day for the past month. She was fully toilet trained, without too much bother when she was about 2.5 or so.

She is fully aware she is doing it. She knows when she needs. But I can see her dancing about and I will ask her if she needs to go and she says she doesn't. I pretty much have to force her or bribe her to go.

She does it at nursery too. They are a bit baffled by it.

I don't make a huge song and dance when it happens, but I do tell her that big girls use the bathroom, she will get a sore bottom etc. I make sure she takes her wet clothes off and puts them in the washing machine, cleans herself up and gets new clothes to put on.

I have tried a reward chart with no luck, she didn't care she wasn't getting a star. I have tried bribing. No luck.

WTF do I do?!

No help but I will be watching with interest as my dd 3.1 year old has started to do this too and I just can't understand why. She has had an accident at nursery today but I let it go as it was only her 3rd day so put it down to that but can't understand why she is doing it at home too. To be honest it is so frustrating, grr!

Watching - I could have written your post

I could have written this exactly! Only my dd is now almost 4 and this regression has later over six months!! Some times she can be dry for a few days, just wearing a nappy to bed or sleeping on night sheet thingy, it's baffling. She knows that her friends at preschool are now all dry yet continues to wee there at least twice a week. She was the first one to be dry too ironically.
We have had changes at home with her df moving out nearly 2 years ago, but I'd have thought by now Italy have settled down? Bribery works to some degree, and being naked on bottom half at home is better as she'll take herself off to the toilet without any trouble, but if she has clothes on she can't be bothered it seems. At my wits end as she starts school in September and I'm sick to death of the washing. She also poos sometimes, probably weekly, and sits silently in it.
You have my sympathy

It is just so frustrating. DD is a clever girl (I am her mum, course I will say that), she knows how to use the toilet and does know when she needs (she always tell me at bedtime if she needs). I am just at a loss to be honest.

Sorry to hear you all having the some problems, but glad to hear I am not alone. Thankfully she doesn't do poos in her pants.

But god, it is hard.

I should add that she is bright, certainly the brightest oft three, almost reading, counts to 100, does her own teeth and wipes poo with good accuracy so it must be laziness right?

Mine is doing something similar but she's started pretending she's a baby and won't go. She put a nappy on and pooed herself today.

I'm ignoring mostly but she did get told off about the poo. I'm a crap mum. I could have handled it much better.

She's strong willed too and doesn't get phased by threats. Can you promise her something? Doc McStuffins has a lot of power in this house.

Oh and I have just remembered that when she gets up in the morning she always tells me she needs a wee and wants to go to the bathroom.

I always give her loads and loads of praise when she goes. Especially if she asks to go. Mind you apart from night time or morning, I think that has been about twice in the past 30 days. God, how pathetic.

3 and a half year old here who goes through pahses of refusing to poo and ends up in agony. He is also bright and stubborn, seems a common theme.

HV says lots of kids go through this at this age, just have to ride it out and stay positive. I never understand when people say they can't wait to get them out of nappies. This is much worse!

DD 3.3 had been doing this since her brother was born. We've gone back to star charts (1 star per day clean and dry; 10 stars for a new book) and a kinder egg if clean and dry at nursery (I bought 6, they've all gone and I'm not buying any more).

It seems to have worked - down to 1 accident in four weeks which was MIL's fault for giving her adult sized glasses of fruit juice from two or three a day.

DD has also had lots of praise from her key worker at nursery which means the world to her.

(Partly in response to Smug) It may sound odd at first but I think at this age you need to be consistent, and not put them in pull-ups at night. Otherwise they realise that sometimes they can wee in their pants and it's all fine. You may find that she's actually consciously doing a big wee in her pull-up first thing in the morning instead of getting up to go to the toilet.

Instead of pull-ups we just 'lift' DD (also 3.5) from her bed and put her on the toilet for a wee just before we go to bed. She only partially wakes up. Saves just another plastic nappy going in the landfill, too.

OP, it might help to describe the feeling of a full bladder to her? For example, "you can feel it pressing on your tummy" or "your bottom feels a bit funny if you need to go for a wee".

(Star charts worked for us - but we still have the occasional accident at 3.5)

Been there still battling at 5.5 yrs. Going to the toilet is simply not as important as the thing she is busy with at the time. We 4ackled by jyst enforcing several toilet breaks during the day. If we moved from obe activity to another we went to the loo first, if she'd wanted a puzzle down from the shelf,"sure you can darling, but let's all go to the loo first". If you can, go when she does and try not to make it a punishment (easier said than done I know) always go to the loo before going out and explain that we go now because we don't want to have to go in the middle of doing some fun activity get nursery to do the same. Well mostly that's what we hsve tried to do, it is alot better but we still have the odd accident

My ds was about 3 when he did this just for about a month and from the research I did I found out that at around that age kids grow faster than their bladder so they can drink more than their bladder can handle and don't get enough warning of needing a wee. If it goes on for months then worry but I'd say assume it's that for a couple of months and it may just stop, thank god it did here! Honestly at the time I thought he was reacting to something but ended up being nothing so I definitely put it down to the delayed bladder growth. x

My DD (3.3) started this a couple of weeks ago. She has been out of nappies day and night for about 2 months.

I don't know what caused it- she went into a new room at nursery, but she started about a month after that when she seemed settled.

We cancelled everything for a weekend and went right back to square one, putting her on a potty every hour (she hated that) and giving her a smartie when she did something in there. Lots of praise etc. It was quite intensive! By the Monday she was ok, having been wetting herself about 3 times a day, at home and at daycare.

She's now dry in the day and for her nap. I haven't risked taking off the night time nappy yet.