At a loss, don't know where to go from here.

[Madallie]

I've written a lot on her recently about dd's sleep but I really have reached a point where I don't know what to do.
Dd is 2.1 yo. Never been fantastic sleeper, some good but a lot of bad phases. At the moment no one is getting much sleep here and it's taking it's toll.
A typical night/day was yesterday. Dd woke at 7.20am (great I know), napped 1.25pm-2.30pm (I woke her), in bed for night at 7.30. She was banging legs, crashing about etc until 9.05 when all eventually went quiet (I has been in a few times to remind her it's sleepy time). Then from about 9.45 she banged, crashed about and moaned on and off all evening until about 1am. She wasn't upset, wasn't calling out for us etc but it was impossible for me and Dh to go to bed because of the amount of noise she makes. It was also impossible to sit and relax downstairs because of the loud banging going on in her room. From about 1am she was sleeping more peacefully but was restless for a while at about 3am and 4.30am. She woke for the day at 7.30.
This is becoming a typical pattern here and I don't know why. I can't keep not being able to go to bed/sleep until 1/1.30am. I'm almost 39 weeks pregnant so it's harder now but even at the best of times I can't sustain this, even less so when new baby arrives.

. I just don't know what to do. I know some toddlers need less sleep and it's true she has never needed the recommended amount but not drastically less.

Maybe she doesn't really need a nap, even though it is usually only an hour ish. So I could understand that is possibly why she doesn't fall asleep until about 9pm, that I could understand/deal with. It's the restlessness, wakefulness banging and thrashing about all night that I am having big problems with. It can't be relaxing for her, plus me and Dh need our sleep too. She has self settles since about 6months, has not had any changes in her diet (so don't think it can be allergies), we have cut out squash, juice, any chocolate etc in case it was any if these.

Has anyone experienced anything similar have any thoughts or advise on what's going on or what I could do?

Thank you.

So today, put dd up for nap for 1pm same as always. Got her up after an hour of not sleeping. She always usually naps and I can't see how she is not tired after such a restless night. I'm shattered.

Don't know what to do now.

Sympathies, that sounds tough. Silly question but are you sure she needs a nap? DD1 dropped her nap at 19 mo and I made DD2 stop napping at 2.5 ish as she wasn't sleeping - much the same as your DD. Is she still in a cot? If so, could it be that she's uncomfortable and us waking herself up?

Hope this is a phase that passes quickly

Thanks mummy. I think the thing is, I just don't know if she needs a nap or not. I assume she does because she always has one and goes off fine in about 10 mins but maybe this is because she delays bedtime so much. I feel in total confusion it all tbh.

What I am worried about, is making things worse by making her overtired as this is all I ever seem to read about when reading about toddlers not napping (although don't see how things could really be much worse at night).

I also worry that because she has been only sleeping 10-10.5 hrs at night, if I don't let her nap and put her to bed a little earlier to compensate, say 7pm, she'll be waking at 5am!

What would your dd's behaviour be like if you put her to bed later than you have currently been, say 8:30-9pm? I evenutally did this with my dd as she has only ever needed 10 hours irrespective of her age but couldnt bear the extra early wakeups! Perhaps your dd can be playing quietly downstairs with where you are until she is a bit more tired?

Thanks cookie. Sounds good in theory but my dd doesn't really do playing quietly and whether she's tired or not tends to get quite loud in the evenings. If the no nap thing doesn't work, it might be something I could try though because like you I really don't like early mornings either (although I'm sure that'll all have to change when new baby arrives!).

How old was your dd when you started doing this? Did you do this in order to preserve her nap or was this post nap too?

My dd was about 2-she's now 5- and has a bedtime of 8:30 but doesnt fall asleep until about 9pm to wake up at 7am, if she does fall asleep earlier garanteed she wakes up after 10 hours. She always had a good nap in the afternoon (1:30-2hours) until she was almost 3 but i found if didnt have a nap i found her behaviour difficult and she didnt sleep any better or worse. She would play quietlyhowever in the evenings which made it easier i can imagine!!

My ds used to have a 3 hour map until he was almost 3 and dummies were removed. He slept better before his naps came to an end due to over tiredness but still he is still a good sleeper. My suggestion for you is to literally remove everything from her room so you know she can not hurt herself with anything and put a lock on the door. This will help you and your dp to sleep safe in the knowledge that no matter what she can't come to any harm. It's worry that stops you two from sleeping, I know this because I've become less concerned about safety the older my son has become. I know now that even if he gets up in the night, even if he went downstairs (which he doesn't but if he did) he'd be safe. x

I suggest cut out the nap do you have a bedtime routine? Ie bath time followed by story time? If not msybe do that. Then after story lights out. No night lights, no bright lights on in the corridor. You could put the night light in the corridor with her door slighty ajar. Also look at what she's eating after 3pm. There are lots hidden stimulants in food's like sugars, some kids react to sweeteners and colours. If none of that makes any difference you may need to accept that she just needs less sleep and adjust routines so that she has it all in one go. Good luck

Hi,

yes my 2.8 yr toddler has been very similar to yours.

I too was pulling my hair out wondering why she thrashed around in her cot, and then after reading a thread on mumsnet I suddenly realised what was causing it all.......trapped wind !!

Does she eat windy foods such as broccoli, beans, raisins, etc?

If so, try eliminating these and see what happens.

Also, worth ruling out threadworms. A common cause of night-time thrashing about in children.