At my wits end. Lucky enough to be able to be a SAHM (although financially flying by the seat of our pants!!) and think I've lost all perspective. Have DS who recently turned 3 and DD who is 17 months. Both extremely strong personalities and little whirlwinds. DS needs lots of physical activities whilst DD will happily sit and colour/glue/paint/playdough etc. The fighting is becoming worrying- DS lashes out at DD and on more occasions than I'd care to recall has even tried to strangle her. He pushes her over constantly- and has even then tried to jump on her whilst flat on the floor. DD clearly fed up with all this has started slapping, biting and hair pulling. I'm clearly not disciplining them correctly and I'd like some advice. I've bought so many parenting books my head is in a spin. Asked HV for advice and she wants to put me on a 12 weeks parenting course but worried if there are any ramifications of that. Ironically DS is at nursery 2 days a week and I have asked and whilst a "boisterous boy" he shares, takes turns and comforts other children when they are hurt [hmm] In short they think he's adorable [confused]. Which has led me to think clearly I am the problem here. He has epic tantrums and spends most of the day crying and whining which is exhausting and everything is "not fair". He has hit and kicked me a couple of times but nothing recently. Although now he's started spitting in my face which DD tries to copy. DD default setting is to scream for attention from me and wants picking up and carrying by me constantly. If I'm having cuddle time with DS she will run over and slap him. They have lots of lovely toys which they fight over constantly. If DD is happily playing with one of DS toys he will rush over snatch it off her and make her scream and cry. Do i give it back to DD as it is actually DS toy?? Or let DS keep it whilst telling him off for snatching. Tried time out. Unfortunately only place can use is the bedroom which he then either dismantles or sits happily in playing!! This is only the tip of the iceberg really!! (Both children have food allergies so lots of medical appointments and DS has been flagged up with speech and language problems- whilst not severe his speech is unclear). I can tell DH is starting to resent spending time at home as it is so stressful and it us putting our marriage under a lot of strain. He thinks I should go back to work!!! Both DH and myself are teachers- so why can't we control our own children!!!!??!!! [sad] We both firmly believe in no smacking so where has all this physical stuff come from with DS?? Any tips/books/advice much appreciated thank you