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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

At what age should kids help to tidy up?

21 replies

Birdly · 31/07/2006 14:17

Dd is 3 in October, but tidying up is an alien concept. She refuses point blank to help tidy up (although she's very good at making a mess!) so I'm thinking of doing a sticker chart, as this worked miracles with her toilet training. Any advice? Or am I expecting too much too soon?!

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tortoise · 31/07/2006 14:22

My 2 and 3 yr olds help me tidy their toys up.Not all the time though! They do get a sticker on their chart for helping.I normally tell them a specific item to pick up ie bricks while i do other bits.

Kelly1978 · 31/07/2006 14:37

Mine have been helping for a few years and the dts are now going to start learning - they are 16 mnths. We have a simple rule - no tea til the toys are tidied away. Personally I think sticker charts is jsut makign mreo work for yourself than necessary!

clairemow · 31/07/2006 14:38

DS is 2, and helps me tidy up toys at the end of each day. It might be a struggle at first, but it'll become part of her routine if you do it consistently (or so the books tell me....!!!)

HuwEdwards · 31/07/2006 14:39

I just tell them, no more toys till you put the last one away.

Bellie · 31/07/2006 14:40

my dd has been helping tidy up since she was about 15 months. I find that you have to be specific about what you want - eg. can you put monkey in the box, rather than can you put things away. A bit like Kelly - no story before going upstairs to bed until toys are put away!

Caligula · 31/07/2006 14:41

I tell them that any toys found on the floor will be confiscated. And they are. (Cellar is handy for that)

Call me Attila the Hun.

thewomanwhothoughtshewasahat · 31/07/2006 14:43

birdly - when mine were that sort of age I used to challenge them to tidying up races - you put all the red and blue bits of lego away, I'll do yellow and green - used to work a treat.

jessicaandrebeccasmummy · 31/07/2006 14:44

JEss is just 2 and we have "tidy up time" twice a day - once before lunch, the other before tea/bath

It usually means me doing most of it, but she is grasping that its tidy up time so toysi n the box - and she will put her bricks away etc

Becky is only 9 months so hardly able to help just yet!

Routine, routine, routine - once you start dont stop and they soon get the hand of it!

laudaud · 31/07/2006 15:00

DD has a box of blocks and if she has got them out on the floor we praise her when she puts one in the box and then she puts more in to get more cheers. She is only one - never too early to start...

Lems · 31/07/2006 15:34

Praise praise praise. mine have helped from small and when at pre-school it will be the norm to help at 'tidy up time'

Earlybird · 31/07/2006 15:57

DD will help me tidy if I ask, but we don't get too far if I ask her to do it on her own. She's 5 . Anyone have any suugestions of how to motivate her to be more self sufficient regarding this?

southeastastra · 31/07/2006 15:58

my ds(5) is getting better at it since he has been going to school, where they make them tidy up!

Posey · 31/07/2006 16:04

Earlybird - bribery?! Dd who is now 9 was not allowed to watch her fave programme before bed until stuff cleared up, so the longer it took the more of her programme she missed.
Even now, she tidies up when I'm putting ds to bed, whatever if still lying around in the living room whether it is hers, ds's or mine.
Ds is 3.6 and getting into the same routine. Takes a while though and you must be consistent. Dd always knew I wouldn't put the TV back on til everything tidied.

Lems · 31/07/2006 16:05

picture chart of tasks todo she can tick them off

Earlybird · 31/07/2006 16:13

Hi Posey - was thinking of you the other day...are you still walking all the time?

Regarding dd - she is not a hugely messy child and is an only so we don't often have a giant mess. I also ask her to put away one thing before she gets out another. But I think, tbh, that I have made a rod for my own back to a certain extent because there are so many different pieces to quite a few of her toys. I put them away all together (keeps them organised) and then don't get the incessant wails of "mum I can't find polly pocket's umbrella, can you help me look". If she tidies, it tends to be chuck-it-all-in-the-toy-basket, which ultimately creates more of a "sort out" for me. Guess it's time now (past time!) to start introducing the concept of keeping her own bits together - she's old enough for it.

Elibean · 31/07/2006 16:22

My 2.7 year old 'helps' (gets distracted a lot, but the main point of being involved in putting one lot of toys away before getting another lot out is still there!). I've actually seen her tidy up spontaneously, on her own, too. No idea where she gets it from, not me
If stickers work for you, why not?

cat64 · 31/07/2006 16:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

youknowwhat · 31/07/2006 17:10

I used DS1 wants to do as mummy & daddy.
So he now helps tying up his toys, clean the floor with a ipe if he spills something etc...
3yo is not too soon. DS1 is 'easy' because he is used to tied up at the nursery. I just had to build up from it.

Elibean · 31/07/2006 17:12

cat, love the timer idea. Will store that one away for later!

Posey · 31/07/2006 21:07

Quick hijack...Earlybird, not doing much power-walking just now. Always tails off after the moonwalk as I enjoy spending my free time doing something else, and then it just got too darn hot!!!
Will pick up again in the autumn. Much prefer walking off season when the parks are quieter.
Join me sometime!

monkey · 01/08/2006 04:22

some kids find it easier. ds 1 & 3 are great tidier uppers. Ds2 is rubbish. I have to really guide him with specific jobs. eg I'll pick up the clothes, you're in charge of all of the lego. or can you put all of the books into a pile. Just 'tidy up' is too much for him, he can't see past the mess to see easy specific smaller jobs. dh is the same. I find as well as the timer, so only limited time doign it, promise of treat at end. eh who wants an ice cream, ok, lets quickly do this then we can all sit down and have one after. also just the mantra 'pick it up and put it away' helps them mentally break it down into smaller pieces, ie seeingone piece at a time to do rather than the whole big scary room.

but like i said, dh is as hopeless as ds2, so I guess some people just find it a lot easier.

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