Change of behaviour after incident with an other child

[pmcknz]

Hello,

A week ago my son got hit in the face twice with a stick and when I went to take the stick away from the child's hand, he then hit me. He gave us both a black eye and my nose bled. My son is 2.5 and this had never happened to him before. He was very shocked.
He has since been very wary of other children and started sobbing hysterically several times when he felt threatened (even though he was absolutely safe)
He has also been extremely clingy, sensitive and whiny.

I believe this is only a phase but I wonder how can I help him through it? I try to be as patient as possible, talk him through his fears and explain to him that some people are just mean and we have to move on.
I'm struggling with staying patient - I am pregnant with twins and all these hormones are driving me mad. I just want my cheerful, independent boy back.

Thanks for reading mummies :-)

What a horrible thing to happen to you and your little boy. Gosh I'd be cross. He is just frightened and this is clearly a reaction. Did the little boy in question apologise? Do you know them well? If they did apologise explain to your little boy that the boy in question was sorry he hit him and felt sad about it afterwards. Keep reiterating that and say it's all over and done with. I found it very helpful with a similar incident with my 2.5 yr old ds. If they didn't apologise and you can't get an apology I'd write a pretend note / card to say sorry and say they didn't mean to hurt etc. Put the card up where he can see it and when he asks explain again. I'm not by any means disregarding what this kid did but it's about getting your little boy to understand. Keep saying that most children are fun and nice, this was just an accident. Tough situation and good luck with your pregnancy op

I think your son hasn't just been frightened by what happened but has been left feeling very insecure. Not only did he get hurt but mummy, who he had a belief was all powerful, got hurt too. This has dented his confidence in both himself and in you and your ability to protect him. I'd agree with Lottystar that a wee lie at this point might help him. Have a pretend phone call with the other mummy where she apologises, have a sorry card as Lottystar suggests where the child addresses your sons fears. Explain that even though you got hurt that you still did - and always will - protect him. Also explain that because this was just a nasty/cross/silly (word of choice) little boy you didn't want to hurt him when you took the stick away which is why you didn't grab or hit him. Give him the chance to talk about it or role play the event as children can resolve a lot with puppet play. Look for some good story books on bullies getting their comeuppance, dealing with fear etc. I understand your desire for him to move on but he is still stuck in trying to understand what happened and why and what it all means. Once he does this he will start to regain his old confidence. Good luck - it sounds like a really horrible experience for you both.