nearly 3 yr old wetting himself- ignore or punish??

[mumofthreeboysS]

My son has started wetting himself after being dry since last September. There have been a few changes- a new baby brother and him starting pre-school so I expected there might be some issues/regression - I just want to nip this in the bud before it gets worse- at the moment its about 4-5 times a week. I'm not sure if they are genuine accidents- i.e. just now he said 'oh I need a wee' and grabbed his willy- so I said go to the loo then, and then he just went on the spot. I did get angry- I know I shouldn't but it's just so frustrating. I got him to wipe himself down and reminded him where we go to the loo.

So what I'm not sure is should I start punishing for something he clearly knows how to do or ignore?? I know he's not getting as much attention as he used to- I am bf my baby which takes so much time- and when I'm not doing that there's so much to do around the house- and he has an older brother so when he's back from school it's all a bit manic!

any advice would be welcome!

I bet it's the changes. I'd do rewards - penny in the jar for every time he goes to the lav - 5 pennies=a small prize (and praise for showing the new baby how to do it)

Absolutely don't punish him!! He's not even 3, has had 2 big changes happen recently and this is just a way of showing his insecurity.

My youngest will have accidents whenever something changes (we moved abroad, new pre-school), it normally lasts a few weeks then settles down. He'll be 4 in March, I find a sticker chart helps and a little present at the end of the week.

The best thing is to make him feel as secure and loved as you possibly can, I know its hard with a new baby though.

It will pass!!

Given everything else that is going on at the moment I would go for ignoring it as far as possible. It can't be a nice feeling for him to wet himself so hopefully he will stop it soon. Can you try to make sure you have some one to one time with him regularly, although I know it must be hard to fit in, so he gets some positive attention?

Do not punish. Changes can very commonly bring some anxiety and insecurity to young children, and wetting themselves is one manifestation of that. Positive attention for using the potty will work out far better, punishment may make the anxiety worse.

Do try to give him one on one attention. Also giving him "important" jobs helping with the baby can be very helpful, assure him that his role as Big Brother is essential.

Don't punish.

Kids do this even without upheaval. So keep calm. If he tells you he needs a wee, take him to the loo.

Agree don't punish, it'll actually make him worse anyway. Time, patience, understanding and subtle correction. Go back to sitting him on the toilet regularly if necessary.

thanks for all the replies!

He's just done another accident! well half on the floor half in the potty so I think he tried to get there- problem is I was breastfeeding and told him to 'go to the loo' and he's usually good but now it seems he wants me to help him (regression?) but I feel sorry for poor baby being taken off the boob- he did it twice whilst I was feeding (asked for help) so I had to take baby off twice. He then said he needed the loo (during the same feed!) and needed my help, so took baby off the boob AGAIN, and turns out he didn't need to do anything despite sitting on the loo for ten minutes. I know it's attention seeking but I can't just keep taking baby off the boob constantly during feeds as it'll affect his feeding. Feel SO frustrated.

Will try to give him more attention but it's just so hard! Like the idea of pennies in a jar to encourage him to wee in the loo/potty!