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Behaviour/development

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DD Jekyll & Hyde!

9 replies

kipplin · 21/01/2014 17:50

Hello, just wondering if any of you mum's have experience of this with your LO? DD is 4 1/2, she is generally a brilliant little girl - kind, caring, lovely with her little brother, lots of friends at school, settled in with no fuss at school, hobbies etc. Lots to be very proud and grateful for....HOWEVER, she has days where she is nothing short of horrible! Today is one of them!
I collected her from school, she greeted me by hitting me with her book bag and head butting me. I was cross and told her 'that was a horrible thing to do'. To which she replied "I don't care, I don't love you". I can see her testing and watching my reaction. I used to get angry with her but I now just say " well, what a cruel thing to say" and ignore her poor behaviour.
I could almost cope with her being an occasional brat with me but she does it with other people too. My in laws came round after school and she was so rude to MIL. Refused to talk to her, pushing away her hugs, telling her to "go to another room". I told DD off, time out and confiscated toys but she just carries on :(. It's like a game to her. She's also behaved like this with my parents and best friend etc.
In the evening she is usually repentant and comes to me to apologise. We talk about what I disliked about her behaviour. Trouble is, I'm usually so cross that I stay mad and act cold with her.
Please tell me your LO act like this!! How do you manage behaviour like this. All advise welcome.

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Nevercan · 21/01/2014 17:56

My dd1 4.5 is also like this some days so you are not alone Grin I find it is usually when she is tired and especially when she has done PE at school. I make sure she isn't hungry or thirsty and then threaten removal of her favourite treat of a tv program before bed if she continues to be mean

Caketime4me · 21/01/2014 21:08

My daughter became very aggressive when she started school with a definite element of Jeckyll and Hyde . I was gob smacked by it . It is easing now she has not long turned 6 but still there to an extent. I think tiredness is a big factor especially as she has to work round my busy full time job. School is very mentally and physically challenging for them and this is how some react I think. I am not sure how you manage the behaviour other than what you are doing. It is really hard not to act cold because it is hurtful. Take something for her to eat straight away when you pick her up and ensure she has as much sleep and chilling out as possible.

kipplin · 22/01/2014 11:57

Thank you for the replies. I think I will try to get her to bed a bit earlier and will definitely start taking a snack to meet her from school. I just want my nice little girl back!

OP posts:
TheUniverseIsInfinite · 22/01/2014 12:56

Mine is 6 and has had a history of (rare but bad) lashing out. On Friday she punched a girl in the stomach at school for no 'apparent' reason which is bloody embarrassing because I have to sign a letter and send it in which makes me feel like I'm the one in trouble. I have restricted treats for the time being and given her a talk, but it isn't the first time she's lashed out and it won't be the last.

Onesie · 22/01/2014 20:26

Mine used to do this when tired. Couldn't handle my attention being elsewhere either or felt awkward around other people despite being very emotionally tuned in.

Onesie · 22/01/2014 20:30

Can you have a daily reward for good behaviour at tea time?

Long time outs in the boring dining room also worked. Time outs started short (5) then getting longer (20) until she starts to behave. All done in a calm disinterested and polite manner.

TheGreatHunt · 22/01/2014 20:33

She sounds tired. Far too many expectations on her.

Don't have visitors after school. She needs to relax not be on her best behaviour yet again as she would have been at school.

Onesie · 22/01/2014 20:33

Most often i will tell my kids that they have two choices. They can either stay in the timeout room and behave badly or come out of timeout and be well behaved. They can only come out if they are going to behave, otherwise they stay in the room.

NormHonal · 22/01/2014 20:36

I've had one of those days with my 5yo today . She was an utter horror before school, then nice afterwards and again really horrible at bedtime. Thank fuck she's gone to sleep.

It's tiredness, but I find it soul-destroying. This morning after dropping her off at school I wanted to curl up and cry. And she greeted me after school without a care in the world. I know what you mean, OP, about it being difficult to forgive and forget when they have said and done such horrible things.

Sad

Anyone else dreading the teenage years?

This too shall pass, this too shall pass...

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