Newborns and routines

[SalmonLadder]

When is the right time to try and implement a routine with a newborn, in your experience? My baby is nearly 9 weeks and things still feel very sporadic. I've read various things - some saying get a routine sorted ASAP, others saying that they are too young in the first 3 months. Would be good to hear of others experiences as I'm beginning to worry that we'll struggle when the time comes to add a bit more structure. Thanks x

Personally I'm not fond of routines for young babies as their needs change all the time. They need more or less milk depending on growth spurts, longer or shorter naps for the same reason, etc.

I may not be the best person to ask as I just let my two (now 3yo and 1yo) fall into their own routines, which they did by a few months old. Until then I fed them when they were hungry, let them sleep when they wanted/needed to and wake when they were ready.

Hello OP. I would firstly say - from experience - that it seems the majority of mums on here are pro 'feeding on demand' and that routines for newborns are not the way forward.

Feeding on demand or routines is very much a personal choice - neither is right or wrong.

We fed our 10 wk old DD on demand for the first 4/5 weeks but she was unsettled a lot of the time. So we implemented a routine and found that, very quickly, she became much more contented. This is my personal opinion and nothing more, but I feel a baby will be more content when they know what's coming next. And this doesn't just apply to feed times but, for example, bed time routines too.

I do agree though that you still need to be flexible to take into account things like growth spurts etc.

You have to do whatever works best for you. You will find many people on here will say to do what's best for your baby but your baby can easily fit around a routine if that's what you want - and don't allow anyone to try and tell you otherwise. After all, as long as your baby is well loved, fed and cared for then that's all that matters.

Best of luck to you if and when you go for a routine

I agree with Taler (saw you get slightly flamed on your other thread Taler and it really irritated me!). Our ds2 (8 weeks) had to get into some kind of routine to fit in with ds1, so that I can do things like nursery pick up / drop off and prepare his meals and chat to him while he eats, confident thst ds2 won't be screeching for a feed. We also involved ds2 in the bath/milk/bed routine from the day we came home from hospital and he's great at going down in the evening. FWIW, he is ebf as other comments on mumsnet seem to imply that routine is only for bottle feeders.
Having said all that OP I certainly wouldn't worry about your dc or feel that you should have a routine just because others do...only do what feels right for you.

Our night time was always routined from a few weeks, so bath, bottle, bed with in the aim of bed time of 7 to 8pm.

Daytime was and still ins fairly relaxed routine wise and went with dd demands for napping and eating. U need flexiblity in the day so you can get out the house!

My DD is 6 weeks and she seems to have wind/colic/reflux issues so a lot of the time we just try and survive each day - never mind routines, a day without major crying sessions is a success! I am hoping this changes but I just wondered how people set a bedtime routine up when their baby naps - as with mine, she will sometimes be asleep around that time so would I wake her up for her bedtime routine?! We're always so grateful she's napping so would hate to wake her and also she'll often only nap on me during the day (waking and crying if I put her down) which means we don't get much done! I also hold her upright for half an hour at least after each feed to try and help the wind prob, so again would we incorporate that into the routine?

I keep telling myself things will get easier!

I wouldn't push for a rigid "routine" for a tiny baby, as stated upthread their needs change and fluctuate a lot in the first few months. BFing on demand makes it much easier to respond to your baby's needs so hopefully you're still doing that and long may it continue! Sleeping routines are good, in that they can provide both of you with structure, and there is loads of literature on that subject. I recommend Jo Ryan, "BabyBliss" for some guidance around sleeping patterns and expectations at various ages, but to be fair I've not really used her techniques per se as I love feeding, cuddling and rocking my DD to sleep, a cardinal sin according to some schools of thought. ;) Under 12 weeks my DD (now 2.2) would sleep anywhere but once her vision and hearing develped fully around 3 months she would become very easily distracted if we were out and about, so I ended up staying in a LOT when my she was between 3 and 6 months in order to establish good sleeping patterns during the day and promote better quality sleep at night. Be kind to yourself and your baby, and please don't put pressure on either of you to "sleep through the night"; I personally think that's got to be unhealthy for babies under 1.

I started a lose routine with DD at 6 weeks. She was EBF and we fed every 3 hours ISH. The ish is very important, if she was obviously hungry earlier then of course I fed her but rarely let her go longer than 3 hours. We followed the baby whisperer and to be honest it saved my sanity.

My DD needs routine as do I and I plan to follow a similar one for DC2 (ok might be kidding myself but hope to anyway)