2.8yo not slept for 3 weeks. Whole family exhausted. Desperate, please help!

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My DS (2.8) was always a good sleeper, from an early age sleeping through and being able to self-settle etc. However, since Christmas, he's completely and utterly given up sleeping. It often takes 3 hours for him to stop screaming and go to sleep, and then he wakes every 20-30 minutes, calling out for us to go in. If we go in straight away he seems fine (no tears, no specific worries, just spurious excuses such as needing a drink, having a tummy ache, or wanting us to put his story CD back on).
If we don't go in (we initially tried cold turkey) then he has a full-blown tantrum lasting several hours.

We've tried every technique, including star charts, bribery, calm boring tone of voice, rapid return, anger (to my shame), tears (all-round) and everything in between. We've tried to explore if he has any worries. All he can say is "bit scared of Snowman". It seems he may have had a bad dream about the Snowman cartoon at some point, but several weeks later (and endless reassurance) he still only says that. However, he never seems particularly scared when we go in - he just seems very calm and like he's enjoying getting us to dance to his merry tune.

We had a sour, serious and un-sympathetic H/V visit twice last week, who offered no other advice, although did offer to do a CAF for some Social Services support (we declined) and has done a Paediatric Development Clinic referral.

My DH and I are utterly, completely desperate and on the floor with this. I'm 14 wks pregnant and been signed off work with stress today as I'm no longer coping whatsoever. It doesn't help that we're about to move house and all-round very stressed.

Please, has anybody experience of sleep problems suddenly starting at around this age? Any help would be deeply appreciated.

Does he know about the new baby?

First of all sorry to hear that you are going through this while pregnant, I have 3 under 5 so I know how stressful it can be pregnant with little ones to cope with.
My dd2 went through this just before Christmas, she is 2.6 and all of a sudden started telling us she was scared, would not go anywhere in the house on her own, even to get her own shoes on, nightmare. She then subsequently started to get up in the middle of the night, (I had not long had ds3 so not sure if that had anything to do with it) this went in for about 3 weeks, in the end I told her that if she kept getting up in the night I would have to take dd1 out of the bedroom and she would have to be in there on her own, sounds terrible I know but it worked, if it had carried on I would have actually had to do this as she was waking dd1 up and she has just started school.
I know you said you have tried bribery, the only thing I can think of is sticking with the rapid return, hopefully the message will get through
I do sympathise I know how tiring it can be, hopefully someone else will post with some more advice x

Have you checked for worms?

Worms is often a cause of sudden won't go to sleep behaviour. Particularly if they fall asleep then wake up half an hour later screaming and squirming.

Put him to bed, half an hour later go in with a torch and look at his bottom. If you see any white wrigglers, it's worms. Easy to treat - pharmacy has chocolate worming tabs.

If it's not worms, I would put a mattress in his room and go to sleep with him next to me for a couple of nights, then try gradual retreat after that.

My DS had something similar, just before age 2. He too had also always been a good sleeper. Suddenly he seemed scared. I tried all the usual stuff, and then giving up (lacking patience) and needing my sleep, I slept on his bedroom floor next to his bed. That worked fine and he slept through. I tried creeping out to get back in my own bed... sometimes worked, sometimes didn't... and I was back to the floor. Took 3 weeks and it was all over and has never been repeated. He used to sleep in complete darkness... then as soon as started school needed a nightlight... think their imagination starts getting the better of them! Good luck.
Regarding the worms... I've often thought DS had... have never quite fancied shining a torch up his bum in the night... the tablets are harmless...

Just wondering if he still naps in the day - if he does maybe he's just not tired at bedtime?

No advice, just a bit of sympathy. I'm back co-sleeping with my 2.6yo at the moment because he keeps waking whenever I get out. He definitely has had a few nightmares, but I think his last two molars are also coming through, which won't be helping.

And also blocked nose, coughs etc at this time of year, he gets very distressed by his nose being blocked and doesn't like the nasal spray either.

You must be so exhausted - just working and dealing with your usual toddler in early pregnancy is exhausting!

I'd ask the same as Fatty: does your toddler know about the new baby? I swear that my DS1 'sensed' (for want of a better word) DS2 in very early pregnancy.

Does he know about moving house yet? Both moving and a new addition are very unsettling for any 2 year old and could easily affect their sleep.

No experience to add I'm afraid, but sorry you are having an awful time. Our Dd is only ten months but we have today contacted the nurturing sleep lady called Ann for help. Paid help of course but she comes highly recommended on MN and I know she works with toddlers. Google nurturing sleep and she comes up. No matter if you not it south east, she can do Skype consultation.
Hopefully you'll have a breakthrough without this approach but sharing just in case. Good luck.