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how to help 2 y.o. express anger?

6 replies

nobodysawmedoit · 20/01/2014 15:38

DS is just about to turn 2 and is ramping up for the tantrums and grumpiness, although generally he’s a very good natured kid. I hate it when he lashes out in anger and I tell him “NO. Hitting/throwing/whatever is not allowed” in a very serious voice and serious face (mostly manage to avoid shouting, although not always, I’m only human).

But at the same time I feel kind of bad about this, because I think he’s bloody furious about x,y,z and he doesn’t know any other way of releasing his anger and frustration – which we all need to do! Of course I don’t want him to hit people, but I also don’t want him to repress his feelings or think that it’s “bad” to be angry or upset.

Anyone got any ideas of how to encourage a toddler to express their frustration in a more acceptable way? Sometimes if I stop him hitting me or throwing stuff, he hits his own face, which is heartbreaking! Those sweet, wobbly tear-stained cheeks!

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DrSeuss · 20/01/2014 18:23

Place him in a safe place, eg, middle of the carpet, walk away and leave him to it! He is a toddler. Do not over anylise it. Just wait till he gets over it. He will not be psychologically scarred!

DrSeuss · 20/01/2014 18:34

Analyse, even

spritesoright · 20/01/2014 22:49

Well if he's hurting someone else or himself then that's obviously not acceptable but surely if he wants to lie down on the floor and scream this is just letting off steam?
That's how my DD expresses her anger anyhow. She did go through a phase of hitting other children but I never saw it as anger, more like experimenting and wanting her own way (doesn't make it any better obviously). I think it's a bit easier when they can speak better but in the meantime you could try vocalising it for him "I can see that you're really angry about having your toy taken away." That's supposed to help them understand what they're feeling.

Yaya70 · 21/01/2014 00:16

How about hitting a cushion, throwing a soft toy, scribbling on paper...

Misty9 · 21/01/2014 21:06

We tell 2.4yo ds that the emotion is ok but the behaviour is not - e.g. It's okay to be angry/frustrated, it's not ok to hit/throw. We also suggest he clap his hands or stamp his feet instead...still working on that one though!

Onesie · 22/01/2014 20:48

Acknowledge how he feels with words ' I can see you are angry/mad etc. did you want a turn with the car but had to wait'

Also timeout for hitting. No shouting. It's pointless and will backfire in the future. Remain calm, polite and fair.

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