Son prefers everyone to me ... Breaking my heart

[Riosixto]

Hi all

I have a little boy 11 months old and for the last couple of months he has displayed a strong preference for his dad, which was hurting my feelings but I got over it. Now however, I am ranking below all 4 grandparents and his nursery nurse. He actually cries when they try to give him to me. :(

When we are on our own he is my smiley, happy little boy again. But as soon as one of the others comes in he straight away starts moaning and holding his arms out to them. It's really breaking my heart an my mum suggest I post on a website to see if this is common.

I went back to work a few months ago and up til then we spent every day together so not sure if this is a factor.

Has anyone else experienced this? Does is last long? How should I behave?

Happened to me. Lasted a fair amount of time too but I tried (sometimes not very successfully) to ignore it.

My friend works with small children and says it's really common. I didn't believe that when we were in the midst of it but it is true. I think it's because they know that your love is totally unconditional but they might have to work on other people.

Its hard though.
Ds is 4 now and loves his mummy. Be kind to yourself.

yup with my eldest, but I was also reassured by nursery staff that it was perfectly normal - didn't stop it hurting though!

I tried to think of the positives that she had lots of other significant adults giving love and support, but on a good day the best I could hope for was an "oh.... its you - you took your time" kind of look.

It did take a while for her to bounce towards me being favourite person, and she bounced between me and dh being preferred - but we didn't let her dictate who was going to dress her etc which I think helped long term.

good luck

I went through exact same thing with mine around 18 months. Lasted a couple of months to be honest, but then suddenly one day he LOVED mummy again and only mummy will do. It's all phases. Hurts like hell when they don't want you but try to take it as an opportunity for a breather! Before you know it he'll be clinging to you constantly and you won't be able to separate yourself for one second. He loves you.

I agree with pp. it took my son a really long time to learn to say 'mummy', below daddy, the cat etc. my theory was its cos he never needs to call me cos I was always there. I suggest yours is a more extreme version of that. Kids are smart, they know what's what & how to get by in the world with least effort. It's all very Darwin.